Psalm 23

The 23rd Psalm---Explained

The Lord is my Shepherd ----- That's Relationship!
I shall not want ----- That's Supply!
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures ---- That's Rest!
He leadeth me beside the still waters ----- That's Refreshment!
He restoreth my soul ----- That's Healing!
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness ----- That's Guidance!
For His name sake ----- That's Purpose!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death ----- That's Testing!
I will fear no evil ----- That's Protection!
For Thou art with me ----- That's Faithfulness!
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me ----- That's Discipline!
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies ----- That's Hope!
Thou annointest my head with oil ----- That's Consecration!
My cup runneth over ----- That's Abundance!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life ---- That's Blessing!
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord ----- That's Security!
Forever ----- That's Eternity!

Submitted by Gloria Welch

Letting Go and Letting God have His Way

There are two bible studies I am undertaking right now, the first being one I started later in the summer about the suffering of Job. The other is one of the bible study class I am taking Journey into Overcoming, both dealing with suffering, trials and tribulation in life. Many of you who read this blog on a regular basis do not have to be reminded of the many situations and adversities I have faced in this life. I have seen death, sickness, depression and so forth. What I have gathered from Ray Steadman’s Suffering of Job and the first lesson in Journey to Overcoming is trials, suffering and tribulations all come to bring us closer to God plan for our lives.

As I look back on my life, especially the difficult times of my life, I can see the hand of God all over my life. I can see how He tried to redirect my steps in some situations and why He allowed others to occur. I am not saying I know why everything good, bad or indifferent occurred in my life because I do not understand it all. What I do understand is the love of God and how that has greatly impacted my life. There have been many trials in 2009 for me but there have also been many victories. I now can discern the voice of God clearly. I can hear Him speaking to me and leading me on the path He purposed and ordained for my life. I know for sure the gifts He has placed with in me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He indeed loves me.

In this season of loses and gains for me, I have found myself wrestling with God and the call He has on my life. I sometimes find myself trying to ignore Him or making up excuses for not doing the things He has called me to do. Yes, I have been disobedient to the Father. Some of my disobediences is due to fear and the rest is my uncertainty or at least that is what I tell myself. The fear part is real the uncertainty I am not so sure about. I know God has called me and purpose me because He has purposed each one of His children that He has called out of the darkness into His marvelous light. As He told Jeremiah, I know the plans I have for you.

I know the Father has a plan for my life, I am at a place where I am fighting His will for my life and I truly want to walk in that will but I do not know how to stop fighting Him. My desire is to be in His perfect will for my life…to lose myself totally and completely in Him and the plans He has already set in place for me. I just have not learned how to let go and let God have His way. I spend so much time telling Him what I want and how I would like things to be that I miss a lot of what He has to say to me. I spend so much time thinking about the way my life should be that I miss out on much of what He says my life will be like. I know two of my gifts are prophecy and exhortation. I know for sure the talent He has given me is writing. I also know that He wants to use me for other things but I am so afraid of leaving folks behind, moving to another level which would mean leaving people behind and letting someone have full control of my life, even though I know God will never do anything to hurt me.

So my prayer for myself and the one I am asking you all to pray for me is that I let go of fear and I totally let go and let God have His way and that His prefect will be done in my life.

There Is Purpose In My Pain

This morning as I made my way to church, I sat at the bus stop waiting on the bus reading T.D. Jakes book Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits. When I just happen to look up at the cloudy gray skies to see one specific area of the sky where there was a bright light shining forth. I continued to stare over my right shoulder at the bright spot in the cloudy gray skies this morning when I remembered though dark days come there is a brighter day ahead when you trust in Christ Jesus and are lead by Him. As I continued to watch the beautiful light in the cloudy gray skies be covered by the dark clouds, it seemed like the beautiful lite cloud would force its way back to the forefront. It appeared to me a determining in the cloud not to be hidden by the darker clouds, although the darker clouds surround it on every side.

My mind went to the current trials I am now facing and the trials I faced in the pasted. Then my mind went to one of my favorite bible heros King David. Who knew trials and adversity all too well! He faced many in his lifetime. Many of the trials King David faced were because of the anointing on his life. The purpose God had called him too, it was nothing David asked for, it was simply his God given purpose for being here. For many who know King David’s story, it is written in history he was a man after God’s own heart. As a shepherd boy David was anointed by Prophet Samuel to one day be King of Israel. As a result of his anointing and God given call there were numerous attempts on David’s life. Trouble just seemed to find David, who just wanted to be obedient to God. He did nothing but answer the call of God on his life. Most of the trouble occurred before David was ever placed as King over Israel.

I have heard many preachers say what I am about to write but I never really given full consideration to it until now. I am suffering because of the call and the anointing on my life. If I look at my life, not just this year even though this year seems like a lifetime of troubles, my life from the time of my birth, which my mother told me recently I almost dead because I was choking on something when I came out of the womb. Being reared in neighborhoods were shootings were as common place as fireworks on the 4th of July. Dealing with the deaths of my siblings, uncle and many friends who died violently on the streets of D.C.; then having to deal with my own personal demons of being suicidal, abuse of alcohol and the misuse of my body to try and numb the pain. Then trying to rationale in my mind how I could be so strong in my stance against abortions only to be faced with the option myself as a senior in college with my whole life ahead of me and to have to deal with the affects of having an abortion.

It amazes me sometimes that I am still alive. It truly does! I know God has spared me for a reason. As He told the prophet Jeremiah, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God knows the plans He has for me because "before He formed me in the womb He knew me, before I was born He set me apart; He appointed me."

As I live out my God given purpose, I see more trouble come my way. This year as I committed myself to truly living out my God given purpose, sickness, death, financial troubles, family problems and other issues came at me from every which kind of way. Like King David in the Psalm 25, the troubles of my heart have multiplied. During this year as all these things were occurring, God has been manifesting His gifts in me. Which is entirely another story and another set of emotions to go through. Dealing with death, sickness, debt and having your spiritual gifts manifest themselves in such a way that you had not thought of like the foretelling of the deaths of loved ones, I thought was a bit much.

During this time I have had two conflicting voices speaking to me. One is a loving Father, who said He would never leave me or forsake me. I hear God speaking to me, telling me to hold on, to stand and see His salvation. I hear Him telling me it is going to be okay that He will bring me out, I just need to have faith and learning the lessons He wants to teach me during this season.

Then there is the enemy who continues to tell me God will not rescue me. That all the problems I am facing will not leave me; with every bill, bad report, family argument, friend who has forgotten me in this storm and person who misuses or mishandles me, how could a loving Father allow His child to go through such pain and suffering.
My response to the enemy, “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.” Job 13:15
I trust God because I know through the study of His Word and my connection to Him that in this life I would have some trouble. He never said I had to endure the hardships alone. He said, “I could cast my burdens upon Him and if I became weary and heavy laden, He would give me rest.

So, if the path to my God given purpose has me walking through sickness, death, grief being misused, mishandle, financial issues and the like, I gladly and joyfully walk the path. For I know, “He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff,
they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD.” Psalm 23: 3-6

I know what the enemy meant for evil, God is going to work it out for my good. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

As it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

Oh, there is a brighter day, brighter day ahead…cause I trust in Christ Jesus and by Him I am being led, so there is a brighter day, brighter day ahead…far in the distant I can see the light shining in the night and it has been a journey, my Heavenly Father but I go with Jesus cause He conquerors all.

I Can’t Give Up Now

This year has been one of many lows for me, sometimes I felt like giving up. At times I wondered where was my loving God in the many situations I faced. It was at those moments He remaindered me that "Never will He leave me; never will He forsake me.” Hebrews 13:5

Yes, you are facing some hard situations and yes, the trouble of your heart have multiply but I am with you.

During this year, which I have taken to calling my season of loss and gain, I have learned to trust in God with every fiber of my being. Throughout this season of testing and trials two sermons continue to play in my head, one is a sermon my Senior Pastor preached over a year ago entitled “It’s Just a Test”. The scripture reference he used was Job’s testing experience. So many people look at the many situations I have been faced with or I am now facing. I look sometimes at my trials and wonder why I have not lost my mind then God reminders me that He is keeping me. Yes, I have lost my Granny and cousin, my job, my finances are what they are but I have not lost the love, peace, joy and protection of an Awesome God. He is still there protecting me during this storm. So as I think about the sermon and Job’s experience I know God will bring me out just like He did for Job. I have to weather this storm and learn the lessons God wants to teach me and show me during this testing season.

The other sermon is one my Associate Pastor preached entitled “Out of Your Egypt”. The scripture he used was the Israelites’ captive and ultimate exodus out of Egypt. I went back last week and re-listen to the sermon. Pastor B said, you can be blessed in your Egypt. I must have missed this point in the sermon and has been over a year since I heard it. I could not understand it but as I looked at my present Egypt experience I am being blessed. God is revealing folks true character to me. He is showing me more and more of His grace and mercy. He has taught me how to truly appreciate what we sometimes call the smaller things in life. He has shown me those who truly love me for me. He has also revealed the things I need to be delivered from like pride, poor stewardship and poor time management.

So, as the storms of life rage on I chose to believe God and allow His Word to navigate me through the tough times. Like King David, I too, “lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121”

I am my Heavenly Father’s child, Jesus is my Savior and that means I will always triumph of the obstacles of life. Because God is my help and He remains faithful to His Word to always come to my rescue, I continue to trust in Him and to seek Him during these trying times.
I know I can’t give up and I will not give up. Like the Apostle Paul, I too, am” confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
Another song I love is Mary Mary’s I Can’t Give Up Now:

There will be mountains that I will have to climb
And there will be battles that I will have to fight
But victory or defeat, it's up to me to decide
But how can I expect to win If I never try.

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me

Never said there wouldn't be trials
Never said I would't fall
Never said that everything would go the way I want it to go
But when my back is against the wall
And i feel all hope is gone,
I'll just lift my head up to the sky
And say help me to be strong

Never give up on God because He will never give up on you. Let Him walk you through the storms and allow Him to heal you.

Be blessed!!!

All I Can DO Is Trust You Lord

There is a song I love by James Fortune entitled I Trust You. The song simply says, I will trust You, Lord. My favorite lines are “everything that I see, tells me not to believe, but I'll trust you Lord, you have never failed me, I can only trust you, no one else loves like you do.”

Here is why I love the lines in this song because I can go to God’s Word and find scripture to support what the song writing is saying. I have evidence that God can be trusted, His Word tells me so. At this point in time I find myself unemployed with more bills than money but I also have a promise and directions from my Heavenly Father.

My flesh is telling me I am in a very bad situation right now with the job marketing looking the way that it does and the bills coming in every month still. The flesh is screaming Ryane, we can not wait on God we have to do something.

Then there is the Holy Spirit living in me that says, God is going to do what He says He will do. Just stand still and see Him work everything out for you.

Everything I see, tells me not to believe
In this world you will have trouble. John 16:33
A righteous man may have many troubles…Psalm 34:16

The Word of God tells me, there will be some troubling times and situations, such as unemployment, death, hurt and pain. The enemy would have you to believe in these situations God is not there for you and you would not make it through your situation. This thought is contrary to the Word of God. In Hebrews 13:5 God said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” And because I know God is not a man that He should lie, I chose to believe God in these troubling days I am experiencing because as Hezekiah Walker songs Faithful, faithful is our God, I WILL reap the harvest God promised me…taking back what the devil stole from me….I SHALL recover it all… cause faithful is our God.

I'll trust you lord, you have never failed me
…but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:16
I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. I will praise you forever for what you have done; in Your name I will hope. Psalm 52:8-9
… But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

As I look back over my life, I can honestly say God has been with me. He has been my Shepherd through the good and bad times. Everything in His perfect that I have asked Him for has been given to me. Even with the recent unemployment God is answering my prayers. See, I begin to pray God would remove me from my old job (He did) and when He removed me from that job, I would not go to another desk job but I prayed for Him to move me into working in the ministry and writing full time. I know see God moving on the working in ministry and with the upcoming release of my first book I see Him working on the writing. The financial situation maybe but my Father is rich. Everything on earth and in heaven belongs to Him.

Every time the enemy tries to get me to worry and to have doubt in God bringing me out of this, I remember that 2:49 a.m. wake-up call from God. He said not to worry; He was going to take care of everything concerning me. God know my cousin and Granny would be called home to glory, He knows my prayers for my family, He knows my financial situation. King David wrote in Psalm 139: 2-5 and 16-17, “You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me… your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God! He knew these troubling days were ahead of me but He said in John 16:33, “take heart! I have overcome the world.” I trust Him because I seen Him bring me out many situations before and I KNOW for sure His thoughts toward me are beautiful ones. In Jeremiah 29:11 God said, For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


I can only trust You, no one else loves like you do.”
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

A couple of weeks ago, God wake me up again this time He took me on a journey through His Word. We started with Deuteronomy 5:32-33, 6, 28, 29, 30, then Psalms 23, 39, then Isaiah 55, then Matthew 6:25-34 and then Hebrews 11. When you have sometime read those chapters and verses then you will now why I am not worried about anything. The Word says, the just shall live by faith. It is only fitting God end our journey through His Word that early morning with Hebrews 11 which is entitled By Faith. The first three verses says, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.”

Dorinda Clark Cole has a song that says, God is going to do everything He promised you. I trust God more than enough to know He will do what He promised me. Yes, the promising of the Father are real to me. If I have to go through this season of death, pain, financial instability and lack, I am going through with an Awesome Father who has already walk the path before. I know this is just a test of my faith and so I believe God. I trust He will bring me out of this because His Word says in Philippians 1:6, “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

I WILL TRUST YOU LORD!!!

Asking for Forgiveness (Psalm 51)

For this weeks blog I decide to post an excerpt from a book I am working on entitled “The Sheep in the Lion’s Den”. The prayer below is taking from Psalm 51 which is the Psalm King David wrote to God asking forgiveness for his sin. In this scripture King David owns up to his wrongdoing. He does not blame it on the devil but he tells God I have sinned.

The main character in The Sheep in the Lion’s Den has sinned and is now asking God for forgiveness. He is standing before His congregation but he is focused on his Master, the God of gods, the King of kings, the God of a second chance.

I stand here before you a broken and wounded sheep. One who by my own doing was lead to the slaughter but I am so thankfully this morning that the God I serve is a Redeemer. I stand here this morning in the need of forgiveness. In need of the Lord’s forgiveness, Father have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion Lord, blot out the transgressions of your sinful servant. Father, wash away all my iniquity and cleanse my mind, my body from all my sins. Lord, my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Oh, great Redeemer of a sinful man!!

I know my sin is against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight. God so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. Lord, my soul knows the wages of sin are death but I still gave in to carnal thinking and allowed the enemy to lead me astray. But God I am here today and I stand in the presence of your glory God seeking and desiring truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost part of my soul and I know I will be okay for God from this moment on my hope is in you. Father renew my mind, transform my soul cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Father I long to hear joy and gladness again; oh God let the bones you have crushed rejoice once again. Lord, I asked that you hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. I am asking you creator of heaven and earth to create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Lord Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me because of my sinful nature. I ask you God of promise and hope to restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Father I have run for your call for far too long. I have allowed worldly influences to lead me astray but God I stand before You this morning a humbled and willing servant to teach transgressors your ways, and return your lost shepherd to you. Lord I asked that you would save me from bloodguilt, O God, For I know Lord that you are a Redeemer of men. I know You are God of all things, the One and only living God, I know You will save me, and Father I will not forgot to give you the praise and honor. Oh, Lord my tongue will sing of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. Father, if I could offer a million fatty calves before your alter to please you I would but I know You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. In your good pleasure make Zion prosper; build up the walls of Jerusalem. Then there will be righteous sacrifices, whole burnt offerings to delight you; then bulls will be offered on your altar.


Confession is good for the soul!!!

Returning to My First Love

There is a song that says, “falling in love with Jesus was the best thing I have ever done.” Which I can attest to whole-heartedly! It was indeed the best thing I have ever done. The Word of God as recorded in 1 John 4:19 says, “We love because He first loved us.”

For many who follow this blog, you know 2009 has been a rough year for my family and me. I know the one thing that has kept us all from completely losing our minds is knowing an awesome and all powerful God loves us.

This morning as I made my way to work the thought of returning whole-heartedly to my first love was pressing on my mind, so I decide the blog post today would be about returning to my first love. Many of you maybe a little confused right now. No I did not at any point leave the Body of Christ (church). Nor did I stop going to Bible Study. Through all the storms this year has sent my way, I remained in the house of God.

However I have not remained in the perfect will of God. I have made very poor choices and I have done so deliberate in some vain attempt to slow down or stop the will of God from continue to manifest in my life right now. I have allowed fear of failure, fear of success and fear of letting people go stand in the way of everything God has for me.

Let me explain just a little of the three fears I allowed to interfere and cause my too sin against my first love. I can sometimes be a people pleaser, so the fear of failure comes into play because I never want to disappoint anyone. I want to always do my best and succeed at everything I do. When it comes to my relationship with Christ and living out the will of God for my life, it can sometimes become a little scary for me. I allow thoughts of inferiority to enter my mind. I begin to question whether I am good enough for such an Awesome God to use. I begin to ask God why me. I have asked God why me the last couple of months and His continues to tell me “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) I disappoint the One who truly loves me unconditional by ignore the things He told me to do and not stepping up and just being the child He called me to be.

For some reason or another I have always had a fear of success, so I was always content with being good enough. This is the attitude I brought into my relationship with God. Being content with where I am in Christ is not good enough. The Word of God in 2 Peter 3:18 says I should, “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” Meaning I should be growing in the knowledge of my Lord and Savior continuously until the day God calls me home to glory.

My fear of failure is directly connected to my fear of letting people go. If you are in my life it is because we have connected on some level. I do not allow any and everyone into my personal space. I can sometimes be very picky about who I befriend or who I talk to in causal conversation. So everyone in my life is here because they have qualities I believe are good enough for me. Well God has been telling me since the beginning of the year, I am ready to elevate you but everyone can not go with you. Meaning everyone in my life will not be apart of this next journey God is taking me on. Which makes me a little sad and also made me question God as to why? The answer I received was the same one he told the Prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 55: 8, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.” Being the awesome Father He is God also reminded me what the Apostle Paul to the church at Philippi, “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

I have really struggled with the fact some family members and friends will only be sideline spectators as God moves me to the next level in Him. But the ways of the Lord I not always for me to know, He has His reasons as to why it has to be this way. My only part in this is to be obedient to Him and allow His work to be done through me, trusting in Him each stop of the way.

In recent weeks I have felt the pull of God moving me back to the intimate relationship we shared. I feel in my spirit and soul my spirit begging to be feed with the Word and presence of God. I hear an inner groaning saying, go on and see what the end is going to be for you know the One who started a good work in you will see it through to completion. You know God will never hurt you He will never give you too much too soon. You are at this place and time in your life because it was purposed for you, it was ordained for you.

The title of my Pastor sermon on Sunday was “Stepping Up and Stepping Out” and at the end of the message he give an invitation to all who felt God moving them to the next level. All I could do was laugh…God had once again given me confirmation He is still ready to take me to another level in Him.

So, I am stepping up to rededicate myself to my prayer time, my study time and to seek the face of God. I am stepping out on faith knowing I am being led by an awesome Father who is able to sustain me through any and everything I may face.

I am falling back in love and placing my love and affections to the One who has been there for me, who loved me in spite of me, who has shown great patience with me, who has forgiven me time and time again, who has always accepted me back with open arms and the only One who was able to love me past my pain.

Falling in love with Jesus
Was the best thing I ever, ever done

In His arms I feel protected
In His arms never disconnected (no no)
In HIs arms I feel protected
There's no place I'd rather rather be

Enough Is Enough

About five years ago I find myself at a place where I was just tired…I was tired of struggling day to day, just for the will to live another day. I was in search of something to hope me cope with the disappointments, trials and tribulation life had shown me. It was one morning after I had tried to drink away my problems that I was even tired of the drinking.

As I sat in my bedroom on that morning, I begin to talk to God. There was something telling me He had the answers to my questions and that He could help me. It was in this conversation of me telling God how tired I was of everything in my life: the pity parties, the drinking, the sex and etc., I asked Him to send me a pastor who would teach me His Word. See, I wanted to know God but so many churches I had been to where more concerning with teaching me to prosper my wallet rather then giving me what I need to prosper my soul. At this point in my life, my soul was completely destroyed and I knew no amount of money would heal my brokenness. I need someone to teach me the Word, so that I could see some light in this dark world that I felt enclosing on me.

After my graduation from college, I came home for a couple of days that Sunday I decided to go to church, unbeknownst to me God had answered my prayer. It was something totally different about that worship service then any other I had been too. I felt a peace while in this church and I actually felt the Word of God. I thought this was nice and left feeling a little better about things, when I return to North Carolina to start the second part of my life, I continue to get this feeling that I need to be home in Washington, DC. I did not know where this feeling was coming from but I knew it was saying come home. Being in the media field I knew coming home to DC would kill my career before it got started, DC being one of the top media markets in the country, but the feeling that I need to be home was to strong for me too ignore. It was February 2005 that I return home to DC. I would return to that church ever so often and walk out feeling much better than I did before I went in.

It was in August 2005 as I sat during my favorite pastime event of sitting on the couch flipping through channels, that I heard a voice saying come home. I tried to ignore it but it would not leave me alone. It continue to say come home. As I sat there thoughts of past hurts and painful experiences begin to flood my mind, I keep thinking, why is this stuff coming back to me. It was then I heard clearly “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”. You asked for a true man of God and I have sent you to one but you still hesitate. Ryane, it is time for you to come home to me. No more running and no more excuse. Now is the time.

That was almost five years ago that I heard God knocking on the doors of my heart and He has been with me everyday of this life since (Revelation 3:30).

As I did that day back in August of 2005, I heard God clearly say, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. It is time for you to stop running and face the fact you have been chosen and set apart for my good works. For years after answer the call of God, I struggled to accept that an awesome God, who is all powerful, all knowing and just great chose me to do His work through.

At this point in my walk with Christ I am struggling to accept the call and ministry He has prepared for me wholeheartedly. I tell Him I am surrender myself to Him totally but I never do. It is not that I do not want too. There is apart of me that is allowing fear to hinder me from saying, yes, Lord to Your will and to Your way. I allow distractions, some I create myself to get in the way but God is clearly telling me ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

And I totally agree with Him.

The Father’s Gifts

As a child of God each of us are given gifts from Him at the time we accept His Son as our Lord and Savior. There are “gifts of the spirit” (1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12 & Ephesians 4) these are the gifts God gives to each believer for the building of His kingdom.

One of the bible study classes my church has given in the past was on spiritual gifts, in the class we all took a spiritual gift survey to determine what our gifts maybe. From the spiritual gifts survey, I learned my gifts are maybe faith, knowledge, prophecy, exhortation and pastor. So, I begin to pray God will reveal to me which gift (s) He has given me and to start manifesting them in my life. You know that old saying, “be careful what you pray for, you might just get it.” Yes, I am here to tell you, if you did not know already it is so true.

God has started to manifest the gift of prophecy in me. What is the gift of prophecy? The website http://www.participatorystudyseries.com/prophecy.shtml says the following about prophecy: “Prophecy is speaking the word or message of God for a particular circumstance or time. In Biblical times prophets foretold the future, condemned unrighteous acts, gave encouragement, recommended courses of action to rulers or to priests and warned of judgment. Only a small portion of the work of a prophet involves predicting the future, and even the predictions are designed either to teach or to correct.” The Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 14:39 “to be eager to prophecy.”

I would have been eager to prophecy before my cousin went into the hospital to have a lung transplant which was March 16, 2009. This is when God started to manifested the gift of prophecy in me. He showed me my cousin’s death and said prepare myself but how does one begin to prepare themselves for something like this. I was also to prepare my family but again, how do I prepare them for something like this. As I sat in the hospital with my family, I remember Hezekiah prayer for God to extend his years, so I begin to pray God would extend my cousin’s years but He continued to say prepare them but I did not want to do it. So, I thought I could change His mind. It was not until the day before she died that I changed my prayers and begin to pray what God had instructed me to pray. I believe my cousin also had the gift of prophecy because she told me two years ago that are family would be restored in her death. She said, “I am willing to be that sacrifice for the family.” I now believe the morning she called to tell me about her lung transplant that she knew God was calling her home. When I talk to her that morning it was a little anxiousness in her voice but there was also peace.

The same week we were making funeral arrangement for my cousin, again, I heard “prepare yourself.” My first thought was oh no, God, no. I knew it was my Grandma this time and as God told me He was taking her home with Him, I cried and I cried. If foreseeing the death of my love ones was a part of this gift of prophecy I did not want any parts of it. I told God He could have His gift back but I knew in my heart and soul I had to accept it. So, when my dad called Thursday April 9, 2009, I was not surprised but I was still hurt and saddened by her depart from this life. My cousin and Associate Pastor pointed something out to me about both of there deaths. My cousin was 33 years old at the time of her death and Jesus was 33 when He left this earth to be with the Father. My Grandma left this earth during Holy Week, on the day of Passover. You know the day Jesus prepared His first disciples for what was about to happen to Him. I thank God because He is so good, He does not have to explain stuff to us but He does, even now as I write this I am getting revelations from the Father. As Jesus prepared His disciples for what was about to happen to Him, I was suppose to prepare my family for what was about to happen to us but in pure disobedience and out of selfishness I did not do this until it was too late. I had to deal with it and ask for forgiveness from the Father then forgive myself and look towards the other things God will show me to encourage, uplift, comfort and help my family, friends and neighbors.

I mention before on the blog about a 2:49 a.m. wake up call from God. In which the Father told me He loved me and not to worry about anything, that He was working everything out for me. Then I told you all about the vision I had of running up some stairs to get to the platform because I had some stuff in my mouth and when I open my mouth to spat the contents out it was diamonds and pearls. I believe the diamonds and pearls, are being able to witness and let the glory of my Heavenly Father shine in my life. I also, believe God was given me a sign that all this would occur and that I would have the opportunity to minister to my family. I now know that God is working other avenues for me to be a light and witness to my family, friends and neighbors (neighbors being anyone who pass my way).

While God is still teaching me to operate in this gift and others, I have accepted that I am by birth right a gifted young lady for the Father. So, He can use me to do His good and perfect will. In the future when I have another opportunity to go and say what thus said the Lord, I will gladly do so. As the Lord told Moses, I will tell them, 'I AM has sent me to you. Exodus 3:14)'

I Believe God

There is a song I like by Kurt Carr called I Believe God. The song says, My faith is strong and anchor, my faith can not be wavered…I believe God, He is invisible…sometimes my faith is tested on this shake road…I believe God…I have seen to many miracles hidden inside my pain…I believe God. The start of 2009 has not been an easy one for me or my family. For all of January and most of February I was sick with walking pneumonia then food poison. Yea, it was not a happy time for me but the love of God and family members keep my spirits up.

Then my cousin learned she had received a lung, so for two weeks, we as a family sit in the waiting area of University of Maryland Hospital @ Baltimore, praying and waiting on Tonya to open her eyes. She never did open her eyes on this side but I believe she is amazed at things Jesus is showing her as she moved from temporary to everlasting. My beautiful cousin took her last breathe on this earth the morning of Friday March 27, 2009. As we meet as a family that morning in the hospital waiting room to decide to take her off the machines, I know the thought running through most of our minds probably was “we have her life in our hands.” I now know we never had that choice but God did because the moment they took her off the machines, I believe she took the hand of her Savior Jesus Christ and did not look back. I believe in those last days of Tonya’s life, she was talking to her Master, and He was telling her it is going to be okay. I will take good care of your family please do not worry about them. I believe Tonya on that Friday morning turned to God give Him her hand because she believe He would take care of her husband, her children, her mother, sister and the rest of her family. So, she let go and let God have His way.

Almost a week after burying my beautiful cousin, I got a call at work from my dad saying, my Grandma had died. I felt like someone had just kicked me in the gut with a steel toe boot. I could not believe it. Most of that day was filled with tears and regret. I think most of my tears came from regret for not coming around or calling her more, especially after finding out she had breast cancer. I keep saying I was going to call or go see her but got caught up with my own life that I always forgot to make that telephone call. I know it is not a time for regret but sometime you have to look at the missed opportunities in your life to learn from them and spending more time with my family, both sides of my family is something I know I need to do.
My Grandma Bea was beautiful in everyway, she would just smile and you would have no other choice but to smile back at her. I remember when I used to call her should would always ask if it was me or my sister. I can hear her laugh and hear her saying “uh huh.” She never said, “you should call me more.” She always talked to you like you called her everyday. My beautiful and beloved Grandma went quietly with her Master and I know her and Tonya are up there wondering why we are crying. After all they have seen His face, He has taken away all their pain away and He has given them the keys to their mansions. Grandma, knowing her probably has plants everyone by now and Tonya probably trying to beautify everyone up there.

As I write this I am laughing at the thought of my two beautiful angels in their heavenly mansions. While my heart still hurts, I can not help but believe God does everything for a reason. I can not help but believe out of our pain God is working His plan to bring more unity to our family, a family that will pray together, a family that will worship Him together and a family that will be better than we were before. In this painful season of life I see the beauty of God at work. I see Him bring my family back together. I see Him saving souls…I see Him not just restoring us but making us better than what we were before.

So, yes, I believe God. I believe there is purpose in my pain. I believe there are miracles hidden in my pain. I believe God because He said, “I will never leave you, nor will I forsake you.” I believe God because He first loved me and He gave His only Son so I would be reconciled back to Him that I would have eternal life with Him. I believe God because I have seen His work. I believe God because I am His work. He is my rock…He is my strength, He is my lily in the field, He is my joy, He is my peace, He is my counselor, He is my Comforter, He is my Help, He is just an Awesome Father.

I rejoice in the pain because I know weeping endures for a night but joy comes in the morning and this joy I have the world did not give to me and the world can not take it from me.

I BELIEVE GOD!!!

Leaving Old Things Behind

“…Go now and leave your life of sin.” John 8:11

Last night, in Bible Study class, we had a very interesting conversation about the sins of others. Not our sins, but how the sin of others bothered us. The question or statement that kicked this conversation off was something to do about someone using profanity in this person presence, after being asked not too. We are not talking about an unsaved person but we are talking about another Christian using profanity and vulgar language. This was unsettling to this person who brought it up to the class, last night.

My thoughts this morning as God brought this scripture back to my remembrance is do we really take the advice Jesus give the prostitution in John 8 to leave her life of sin. How many of us professing believers in Christ are holding on to and trying to justify our reason for continuing to leave in or committed sin. It just seems like we cling to sayings like God is not through with me yet, God does not expect me to be perfect God understands my heart and God knows me!

It is true, God does know us. He created us, so I would think, He knows all about us. The book of Matthew says “He knows the number of hairs on our head.” Now, how many folks in our lives can say they know us that well?

Because the Father knows us and the Word says, He knows His sheep as recorded in the book of John 10:14. God knows how much we can bear that is why He said in 1 Peter 5:7 for us to “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” He knows all about our weakness and temptations that is why the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians said, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

The book of Hebrews 4:15 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.” God has made every provision for us to no longer conform to the patterns of this world but to be renewed daily by the transforming of our minds (Romans 12:2). He sent His Son to die for our sins. He give us His Word to use as a guide and He give us His precious Holy Spirit to comforter us and to intercede on our behalf.

Yes, the saying, God is not through with me yet, is correct because as believers we are going through the sanctification process. The website http://www.allaboutfollowingjesus.org/sanctification.htm describes the sanctification process this way: Sanctification does not stop with salvation, but rather it is a progressive process that continues in a Christian's life. Unlike the things and places that are sanctified by God in the Bible, people have the capacity to sin. Even though we have been "set apart" as God's children, we continue to behave in ways that are contrary. As Christians, we realize shortly after we have been saved that there is a new inner battle being waged within us - a battle between our old sin-lead nature and new Spirit-lead nature. Paul in Galatians best describes this inner struggle in Galatians 5:17: "For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish." That does not mean we use the saying, God is not through with us yet, as a clutch to continuing sinning. We as believers must strife each day to live a worthy life exhibited the fruits of the spirit gentleness, peace, love, self-control, faithfulness, kindness and patience.

So we must do as Jesus instructed the prostitution in the book of John “…Go now and leave your life of sin.” Knowing the One who called us out of the darkness into His marvelous light is able to keep us in the time of temptation and is able to deliver us from everything that is not of God.

Troubled In The Lord's House

Since I have been a combination of busy, lazy and the constant procastinator, I really do not have anything to write this week. So, I would like to share an except from my forthcoming book From the Gutters to A Mansion: My Journey to My Heavenly Father.

The excerpt is from chapter 9 of the book entitled Troubled in the Lord's House. Enjoy!!!

But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.(Isaiah 40:31)


When I made the choice to give my life to Christ I thought I would not have to experience any more pain or hardships. I thought once I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I would be instantly delivered from every problem and sin in my life. All the pain and drama were now gone. I was right in a way, He did spare me from some situations but He also allowed me to going through some situations. In the months following my decision to follow God where He was leading me on this journey called life. I started to experience some trouble times with my job and with my lustful ways.

I had to deal with lusting after other women’s husbands and my sexually desires which at times seem to consume me. At times it seem like I could not or would not be delivered from this infirmity of fornication. I was praying and seeking God but it just was not happening in the time I wanted it too. I am a microwave baby and I need everything to happen right now. What I had to learn was God did not work on my schedule. However, I knew I should continue to ask and seek Him for help and deliverance. I decide that He was the only One who could help me. He knew what was going on and the battle I was faced with wanting to do the right thing and live according to His will for me. I remember a conversation I had with my Pastor about wanting to do what was right before God but was still falling short because of the sin in my life. He directed me to the book of Roman’s were the Apostle Paul says, “So I find this law at work; When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. As I read this I thought this was exactly what I was feeling. In my heart and soul I wanted to do what God wanting all of chosen children to do and be obedient to Him. While I was in the book of Romans I was led to another scripture, I believe this scripture was to counter the other one. Romans 8: 28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” So I decided to lean on Him.

While I was trying to purge myself of my lustful ways and stay away from the married men I received a phone called at work from my mother’s co- worker tell me she had fainted and was being admitted to the hospital. She also said that they thought she had a stroke. As a listen to her I thought God no, please God don’t let this happen to my mother. My co-worker drive me to the hospital and on the way up there I just thought why now God. My co-worker who had just recently lost her mother tried to offer words of encouragement but I was half listening to her as we made our way through afternoon traffic in downtown DC on our way to GW Hospital where my mother worked and now was a patient. My mind was on my mother and what state I would see her in when I went into the hospital room. When I got there she was still in the triage area, undergoing test. So I sat there and called my brothers and sisters to tell them our mother was in the hospital and the little that I knew about her condition. About an hour or so later my younger brother Kevin and his girlfriend would join me in the waiting area. As I sat there I asked God to heal her. I told Him I would trust Him for her healing or whatever He had in store for her. I just asked that He would be with her. The preliminary test results showed that she had a slight stroke but the doctor wanted to keep her for a couple of days and run some more test. It was in the additional test that God revealed to the doctors my mom had a brain aneurysm. I say God revealed it to them because on the day my mom was supposed to be released from the hospital the doctor decided to run one more test and it was the one more test that revealed the brain aneurysm. For me I know that was nothing but God at work. My mom could have walked at of that hospital unaware she had a fatal illness that could possible kill her if untreated. So, I knew my God was at work during this situation.

When my mother told me about the aneurysm and how she found out, all I could say was thank you Jesus. Thank you for not allowing her to walk out of that hospital. Thank you Father!!! We now knew the problem and what she faced. So, when it was time for alter call I went up and prayed to God about my mother’s health situation and I gave it to the Lord in faith knowing His perfect Will would be done in her life. We prayed through every stage of her ordeal. We sought God first and were patient. It was a scary situation with an illness that can kill you but God answered our prayers and my mom had a successful surgery in February of 2006 and is doing just fine. I trusted in Him to work it out for her good and He did.

Good Bless you all,
Ryane

Why I Believe

I have never really felt the desire to validate my faith in God to anyone. I have never much cared to answer the critic who asked, “how can I believe in someone or something I have never seen.” So today in this edition of A Bab for Christ, I will not attempt to validate my faith but I would like to share my reasons for my faith in God.

I am reminded of Langston Hughes poem Mother to Son, the lines “Life for me ain't been no crystal stair. It's had tacks in it, And splinters, And boards torn up, And places with no carpet on the floor -- Bare. But all the time I'se been a-climbin' on, And reachin' landin's, And turnin' corners, And sometimes goin' in the dark Where there ain't been no light.” Well, this journey of faith God has called me to and my 30 years of existence has not been a crystal stair, it has indeed has some splinters, some bare days and I have seen my fair share of dark days, where it was hard for me to see the light.

In the midst of the heartache I suffered it was hard for me to look to God, as so many people told me too. Especially, after the day my sister was killed and my mom, brother and sister were shot. There was nothing in me that believed a loving God would allow something so terrible to happen to me and my family. I had all these questions and no answers from the God everyone kept telling me to turn too.

Then one day I was tired of the pity parties. I was tired of being tired. I was tired of not having anything to live for and not have anything to stand on. It was then in a small office on the campus of North Carolina Central University in the English Department as I sat amongst friends and classmates that I thought about the God my Grandmothers worshipped, the God my mother often called upon and the God my friends often talked about. It was in that office after months of struggling with my choice to abort my baby that I wanted to know if their God could help me. If He would give me the peace and joy that had eluded me for so many years of my life?

Let me explain, I knew of God, we even had causal conversation from time to time but I did not know Him like a child knows their father. You see to know God is to know His Word and I had no clue about His Word. I did not know I could find strength in His Word. I was always told to trust Him and He would work it out but no one really give me scriptures to support what they were saying. It was not until I answered the call of God that I started to understand what Jesus said in John 16:33b, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. ” I did not know His said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthian 12:9)"

These were among the very first verse of His Word that God had me committed to memory and to my spirit. I recall early on in this journey with God I would ask Him to hold me because I heard and read He was a comforter. It would be in those times I would have the most peaceful rest I ever had. God would and still does provided me with a scripture for particular situation in my life. He also gives me songs that speak to me and encourage me to continue on. I know Mary Mary songs “Yesterday” and “Can’t Give Up Now” helped me through the first two years of my journey with God.

I like the Samaritan woman at the well in the book of John, met a man (Jesus) who told me all about myself. He not only told me about the hurt I had experienced in my life. But He told me about the future I could and would have with Him as my Lord and Savior. He said He could and would exchange my hurt for love, my pain for peace, my weeping with dancing, my tears with joy and my bitterness for hope.

Jesus told me in Matthew 11: 28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Yes, I can testify, His yoke is easy and His burden is indeed light. The problems of life have not ceased in my life, the way I deal with them has. That is too trust God with everything concerning me.

The reason I believe in God is simple, “I love Him because He first loved me. paraphrase (1 John 4:19)” It is in His love and Word that I have found myself and my purpose for this life I have. I believe because He thought about my when He sent His son to die on the cross for my sins. I believe because in August 2005 I went before Him broken and hopeless. But to God be the Glory in February 2009 I no longer see myself as damaged goods. I see myself as God sees me, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) that is why I know His works are wonderful because I am His works.

I believe because I see the difference God has made in my life.

I Trust You

God will make a way. How many people truly believe that statement beyond a shadow of a doubt? Last week in Bible Study my Pastor asked us this question, “How much do we really trust God?” Do we really trust God with everything concerning us? As I looked back over my life, especially the last four years since I have been on a committed faith journey with the Father. Had I really trusted God with everything concerning me? I had to be honest with myself. I had not trusted the One who is able to work everything out for me according to His perfect will.

I bring this up because one of my best friends is going through an extremely hard time right now. We had a 3 in a half hour conversation the other day in which at some point, I got frustrated with her. I posed this question to her, “Can God do anything?” She responded yes but…it was in the “but” that I was most frustrated with. If you sincerely believe God can do anything then there are no buts. That night I had my Tuesday night Bible Study class and the lesson was on “praying powerfully”. I shared with the class my frustrating with my friend’s faith in God but it was the saints who reminded me of how little faith I had in God when I started on the journey with Him. As the teacher wrote the word intercessor on the board, I felt convicted in my spirit. You see an intercessor is one who prays or petition God on behalf of another. I had prayed for me friend on many occasions but in that moment God told me what to pray for on her behalf.

As for my frustrated with her…I remembered how little my faith was in the beginning of my walk with Christ. I did not do as Hebrews 4:16 instructed us to do, “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Jesus the Savior said in Matthew 17:20, “if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." According to Wikipedia a mustard seed is about 2 mm in diameter. Just take a second to think about that…Jesus did not say we needed faith the size of the state of California or the continent of Africa to move the mountains in our lives but the size of a tiny mustard seed. How awesome is the Father?

So I took my frustrating with my friend’s faith to prayer, asking the Father to keep her during this stormy time in her life. God said in Matthew 11:30, “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." He even went further in 1 Peter 5:7 and said we can “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” Jesus said in John 14:14, “You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” So, I also asked God to strengthen her in His Word because the Word of God brings life to a dying spirit. His Word is encouraging to those who are losing hope. His Word is encouraging to us who believe in Him to continue to fight the good fight knowing the One who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light (1 Peter 2:9c), is able to keep and sustain us through all things.

As for my Pastor’s question, “how much do you really trust God?” Over the last four years I have grown to trust God with everything concerning me and my family. I trust Him to heal and strengthen my grandmother who has breast cancer, I also trust Him to give my aunts, uncles and dad strength as they help their mom with the day to day activities of life she can no longer really do on her own. I trust God to heal my cousin from her illness. I trust God to heal my aunt of her illness. I call Him Jehovah Rapha which means the Lord that heals. Jesus said in Mark 11:24, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” I believe they will be healed according to God’s will for their lives. I believe the book deal I have been searching for is coming. I believe the man God has for me is coming. I believe the restoration of my family is being worked out accord to God’s perfect plan. I believe God is working all things out for my God. I thank Him for the storms of life because it is in my storms that I have come to know Him best.

There is a song I love by James Fortune called “I Trust You”. The lyric are “so many painful thoughts travel through my mind and I wonder how I will make it through this time. but I trust you lord it’s not easy sometimes the pain in my life makes you seem far away but I’ll trust you I need to know you’re here through the tears and the pain through the heartache and rain. I’ll trust you! Everything that I see tells me not to believe but I’ll trust you lord you have never failed me my past still controls me will this hurt ever leave?
I can only trust you no one else like you do


God I trust You!!!!

Activating My Faith

“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain, ’Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you”. Matthew 17:20

The other morning God woke me up at 2:49 a.m. to tell me He loved me and not to worry about anything that He was taking care of everything for me. An hour after talking to the Father, I went back to sleep. I found one of the many dreams I had that morning very odd. In the dream I was trying to make it too the top of a platform so that I could spit whatever was in my mouth out. My mouth was so fully of something but I did not know what until I reached the top and as I opened my mouth diamonds began to come out. I really do not know what the dream means but I do know I am a diamond to my Heavenly Father, who has promised to give me the desires of my heart and to bless what I put my hands too.

Which brings me to the thoughts of this entry; I often tell friends and family members to trust God and He will work everything out for them, they just have to have faith. While Ryane was not taking her own advice, nope, I was not taking my own advice. I was not fully trusting God to work things out for me. Some years ago God told me to write a book, which I did after some initial struggles with the Father. But I have been dragging my feet in getting the book published. I first dragged my feet about publishing the book because I really did not want to open my life up too thousands or millions of people who I did not know. After all, my story was between me and my God. I got over that. Then I started dragging my feet on finding a publisher for the book. Sending query letters out ever so often but not really pushing the issue or following up.

Then at the started of this new year I was home on bed rest with pneumonia the thoughts of going back to a job and not walking in the career that I know God has ordained for me was at the forefront of my thoughts. I am grateful for my job in these hard economic times but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt what God has called me too and that is to be an author. To write the stories He has and will give me. That is why I believe going back and being back at work these last two weeks has been hard because I know what God has called me to do but I have got comfortable with my job and situation. Which is not what God has called me to at all?

So I believe the 2:49 a.m. wake up call was a call to move forward with the plans He has for me. I am thinking about what the Father said to Jeremiah in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” The other day one of the saints told me, God never calls you to do something without first preparing you for the tasked. He has spent the last fours years of our being together preparing me to take a bold stand in His name. I am ready to take that bold stand in the name of my Heavenly Father. With a bold stand forward, I am ready to step out on faith and self publish the glory story He has given me and to move into the things He has for me.

I am cast all fear to the side because perfect love cast out all fear and with the love of the Holy Trinity behind me I am moving forward in my call. So, my first book From the Gutters to a Mansion: My Journey to My Heavenly Father will be out late February/early March no exceptions. I know God is going to get the glory out of this book and my life. I am activating my faith and stopping out on the promise of my Heavenly Father to take care of everything for me.

I have complete faith He will do so because He is a God that does not lie. If He said then it shall be done.