This past Sunday my Pastor preached from Luke 1:26-38 and he referred to Jesus as being a gift to us all. As I went back and read Luke 1: 26-38 which is title “The Birth of Jesus Foretold” and think about the Word God delivered through his servant Sunday, the words I continue to see and feel are hope, peace, joy and protection.
As many of you who follow this blog know it was doing the Christmas season fifteen years ago my family was devastated by tragedy. When this happened I did not feel hope, peace, joy, and there sure was no feeling of protection, I felt violated. But I do not want to focus this message on tragedies but rather on the perfect gift that God has given to all who would accept it.
I know many of you may be hurting for one reason or the other and trust me I wholeheartedly understand the pain you may be feeling right now. For many years the holidays were a struggle for me and I found no comfort in the perfect gift God has so freely given us all in Mary’s baby. But can you do something for me or better yet do it for yourself, please do not focus on your pain this Christmas season. Do not focus on whether or not you have the money to buy the kids anything or everything they want. Do not focus on the person who left you. Do not focus on the death of love ones. Do not focus on your finances.
Instead focus all your energy on Jesus Christ after all He is the reason for the season. If it were not for His birth there would be no Christmas. So, to those who are contemplating suicide, I challenge you to open the Bible up and Psalm 23, then read Luke 1:26-38, and then go to Romans 5:1-11.
To those of you who are missing a love one this season open your Bibles and read Psalm 23. It was in this Psalm that I received comfort and reassurance in the most difficult of times. It was reassuring to know “even as I walk through the valley of death and darkness God is right there to comfort me.” Let Jesus being your comfort this season and beyond. Do not focus on who is missing from your life but rejoice for to us a son was born and He is the Prince of peace.
I am reminder of what King David wrote in Psalm 27:13 “He remained confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.” As King David, I am confident in my Lord that all who are weary, all who are mourning, and all who are depressed, you will indeed see the good of the Lord in the land of the living. I stand as a living witness because “He turned my wailing into dancing; He removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.” Psalm 30: 11
Halleijuh to the King of Kings!!!
Please do not focus on the pain in your life but focus on the hope, peace, joy and protection that is freely given to us in the form of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6
So this season receive your perfect gift, receive the Lord Jesus Christ. It is the gift that continues to give throughout your life. And remember what Jesus told the disciples before He returned to be with the Father in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Remember Jesus is the reason for the season. So instead of suffering during this season remember He came that we may have life and have it more abundantly.
Happy Jesus Day to you all!!! May God give you and your family the fruits of His Spirit which are love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control this holiday season and for the rest of your lives.
Please excuse any grammatical errors you encountered in this piece.
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Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Who Can I Turn Too
When one of God children is going through problems in their lives, they should turn to God for answers. But what if God is not answering their cries for help? What if they can feel the presence of the Lord all around them but can’t hear Him? Who can they turn too for assistance with the problem? This is the question I faced these last two months, after dreaming the most disturbing things about people who are connect to me personally and professionally and after giving in to unusual thoughts and imaginations I need answers to why this was happening to me so I turned to God but there was no response from my Heavenly Father and like so many of my brothers and sisters in Christ I decide to suffered in silence with these thoughts.
In the meantime I continued to seek God’s counsel in the morning, during the day and at nights to help me through this, to deliver my mind from these attacks from the enemy. I asked if He would send me a Joseph (see book of Genesis chapter 41) or Daniel (see book of Daniel chapter 5:12) to interpret the dreams for me, if He would not tell me directly what they meant. Still there was nothing but I could feel His presence all around me. After spending the last three years getting to know Him, I knew the silence was either He was trying to teach me something or He was trying to show me something. But being the sometimes stubborn person that I am, I just wanted to hear directly from my Heavenly Father, clearly He knows me better than anyone else. So He should be the person to tell me what all this stuff means and what I need to do. God who is the author of my life knows best what is going on, so at this point I did not want second hand information. I wanted it directly from the sources but He was not answering me. I contradict my prayer by asking God to send someone who could interpret dreams to almost demanding He tell me what they meant.
This last two weeks were difficult for me, writing this blog is a little difficult for me but if I can help somebody drawer closer to God than the temporary discomfort I feel is well worth it. I am within my Father’s perfect will for the life He has given me. It has been difficult because I am a very private person by nature and sharing my life with people I do not know is something I am not use too, especially the deeply private stuff, like this.
Then on Monday of this week I felt like I had reached my breaking point. I went to God seeking His guidance, begging for something to change then I saw the numbers 8 and 47 in my dreams. I knew the number 8 meant new beginnings but there was no meaning for the number 47, so I asked God, the meaning of the number 47. As I pondered what the numbers meant the Holy Spirit lead me to the Psalms but I was running late, so I decide to read Psalm 23.
Tuesday came and things seem to be any better for me, so as I sat in Bible Study class Tuesday night contemplating on whether or not to tell the class about what I believe to be attacks from the enemy on my mind. There was the Holy Spirit again urging me on to speak up. It was at the end of the class when we do praise reports and prayer request that I finally asked for prayer. If God would not answer me directly then I would have my brothers and sister petition Him on my behalf and that they did as well as encourage me. As our teacher was praying, God was comforting me, I felt at ease. The dreams, visions and images were an attack from the enemy but I remember the praise of the righteous avail. I also remember were two or three are gathered in My name, God said there He would be also.
It was then I heard my Heavenly Father talking to me, He said, “Ryane you are not an island unto yourselves, you need them and they need you.” It was in the hugs and encouraging words of support, that God revealed to me, it is okay to ask for help sometimes. Because you are my child does not mean you will not go through some problems in this life but because you are mine, you can count on some problems in this life. God said the difference between you and the people of the world is you have me and your brothers and sisters in the faith to lean on.
Here is the lesson I learned, it is okay to lean on others when you are feeling down. I do not have too suffer in silence when things are going on with me. My brothers and sisters in Christ are here to help me and pray for me and if God be for me, who really can be against. No one!!!!
So, when you are not hearing anything from God know that you can turn to your brothers and sister in Christ.
Please excuse any grammatical errors or mispellings in this blog, my editor is still at home enjoying her beautiful gift from God.
In the meantime I continued to seek God’s counsel in the morning, during the day and at nights to help me through this, to deliver my mind from these attacks from the enemy. I asked if He would send me a Joseph (see book of Genesis chapter 41) or Daniel (see book of Daniel chapter 5:12) to interpret the dreams for me, if He would not tell me directly what they meant. Still there was nothing but I could feel His presence all around me. After spending the last three years getting to know Him, I knew the silence was either He was trying to teach me something or He was trying to show me something. But being the sometimes stubborn person that I am, I just wanted to hear directly from my Heavenly Father, clearly He knows me better than anyone else. So He should be the person to tell me what all this stuff means and what I need to do. God who is the author of my life knows best what is going on, so at this point I did not want second hand information. I wanted it directly from the sources but He was not answering me. I contradict my prayer by asking God to send someone who could interpret dreams to almost demanding He tell me what they meant.
This last two weeks were difficult for me, writing this blog is a little difficult for me but if I can help somebody drawer closer to God than the temporary discomfort I feel is well worth it. I am within my Father’s perfect will for the life He has given me. It has been difficult because I am a very private person by nature and sharing my life with people I do not know is something I am not use too, especially the deeply private stuff, like this.
Then on Monday of this week I felt like I had reached my breaking point. I went to God seeking His guidance, begging for something to change then I saw the numbers 8 and 47 in my dreams. I knew the number 8 meant new beginnings but there was no meaning for the number 47, so I asked God, the meaning of the number 47. As I pondered what the numbers meant the Holy Spirit lead me to the Psalms but I was running late, so I decide to read Psalm 23.
Tuesday came and things seem to be any better for me, so as I sat in Bible Study class Tuesday night contemplating on whether or not to tell the class about what I believe to be attacks from the enemy on my mind. There was the Holy Spirit again urging me on to speak up. It was at the end of the class when we do praise reports and prayer request that I finally asked for prayer. If God would not answer me directly then I would have my brothers and sister petition Him on my behalf and that they did as well as encourage me. As our teacher was praying, God was comforting me, I felt at ease. The dreams, visions and images were an attack from the enemy but I remember the praise of the righteous avail. I also remember were two or three are gathered in My name, God said there He would be also.
It was then I heard my Heavenly Father talking to me, He said, “Ryane you are not an island unto yourselves, you need them and they need you.” It was in the hugs and encouraging words of support, that God revealed to me, it is okay to ask for help sometimes. Because you are my child does not mean you will not go through some problems in this life but because you are mine, you can count on some problems in this life. God said the difference between you and the people of the world is you have me and your brothers and sisters in the faith to lean on.
Here is the lesson I learned, it is okay to lean on others when you are feeling down. I do not have too suffer in silence when things are going on with me. My brothers and sisters in Christ are here to help me and pray for me and if God be for me, who really can be against. No one!!!!
So, when you are not hearing anything from God know that you can turn to your brothers and sister in Christ.
Please excuse any grammatical errors or mispellings in this blog, my editor is still at home enjoying her beautiful gift from God.
Friday, December 12, 2008
My Relationship
How does one approach relationships when they have lived most of their lives with the notion “everything I love I loss”. This is the situation I find myself face with after I was saved. For so many years I have distance myself from becoming emotional attached to virtual everyone on this journey of life.
Because some of the people I trusted violated me and my family in the past I decided it was not worth the emotional heartache associated with allowing people into my personal and emotional space. So I shut down emotional and treated everyone like they just wanted to take a piece of me and did not want to add anything to my life.
This is the attitude I brought into my relationship with God. I could not understand why He loved a broken young lady like myself. The more I learned about the character and love of God the more I felt like I was not worthy of His love. See I came into my relationship with God broken from past hurts from people who said they cared about me and still hurt me directly or indirectly.
Due to the hurt I received from others I questioned God’s love for me in the past before I developed a personal relationship with Him. I felt bad for questioning Him and doubt Him in the past. But the more I learned about God, I learned, people may have hurt me but God has always loved me. He never stopped loving me and I thank Him for never taking His love away from me. I like what King David said in Psalm 27:10 “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.” So, people may have hurt me but God has always been there for me. Whether I knew it or not, His had of protection and love has always been on my life.
I do not want to dwelling on the people who have hurt me because their 15 minutes of fame are over in my life. I am no longer allowing them to determine how I deal with current or future relationships. I am concentrating on getting to know my family members, reconnecting with friends and they are getting to know the Ryane God predestined me to be. The Ryane who loves the Lord with everything she has in her. The Ryane who loves to go out and fellowship with her family and friends. The Ryane who is outgoing and dreams out loud. The Ryane who believes in herself because she knows “I can do all this through him who gives me strength” Philippians 4:13.
I am now reaping the harvest God promised me and taking back every relationship the devil thought he stole from me and it should be no surprise that I am rejoicing today because I am recovering it all. Thank you God!!!
See God said in Joel 2:25 “"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten”. He does not have too but I thank Him for being so gracious to my family and me.
Over the last three years I have been in a right relationship with my Heavenly Father, I have learned I am capable of showing love and receiving love. There will be some people who are not meant to be in my life, who mean me no good. I thank God for His gift of discernment!!! He allows me to see people for who they are so I do not waste my time on people who mean me no good.
So old ragged Joe does not even get the number anymore and the previous old ragged Joes do not get a call back, nor do I respond to texts or emails. God is replacing old ragged Joe with Faithfully _________, I do not know his name but I do know the next man I date will be my husband.
I have no time for old friends or wannabe friends who bring death and not life to me. The friendships God wants restore are being restored the ones He does not are not. And I am okay with it. If God said this is not the person you need to be friends with that is fine by me. Since He is the author and finisher of my life then He knew they meant me now good.
God has given me my trust back, I am now able to give people the benefit of the doubt because I still believe trust is earned and not freely given. I am grateful unto God for renewing our covenant relationship, renewing my relationship with my family, renewing my relationship with friends and for all the new relationships I will build in the future.
I thank Him!!!
Because some of the people I trusted violated me and my family in the past I decided it was not worth the emotional heartache associated with allowing people into my personal and emotional space. So I shut down emotional and treated everyone like they just wanted to take a piece of me and did not want to add anything to my life.
This is the attitude I brought into my relationship with God. I could not understand why He loved a broken young lady like myself. The more I learned about the character and love of God the more I felt like I was not worthy of His love. See I came into my relationship with God broken from past hurts from people who said they cared about me and still hurt me directly or indirectly.
Due to the hurt I received from others I questioned God’s love for me in the past before I developed a personal relationship with Him. I felt bad for questioning Him and doubt Him in the past. But the more I learned about God, I learned, people may have hurt me but God has always loved me. He never stopped loving me and I thank Him for never taking His love away from me. I like what King David said in Psalm 27:10 “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.” So, people may have hurt me but God has always been there for me. Whether I knew it or not, His had of protection and love has always been on my life.
I do not want to dwelling on the people who have hurt me because their 15 minutes of fame are over in my life. I am no longer allowing them to determine how I deal with current or future relationships. I am concentrating on getting to know my family members, reconnecting with friends and they are getting to know the Ryane God predestined me to be. The Ryane who loves the Lord with everything she has in her. The Ryane who loves to go out and fellowship with her family and friends. The Ryane who is outgoing and dreams out loud. The Ryane who believes in herself because she knows “I can do all this through him who gives me strength” Philippians 4:13.
I am now reaping the harvest God promised me and taking back every relationship the devil thought he stole from me and it should be no surprise that I am rejoicing today because I am recovering it all. Thank you God!!!
See God said in Joel 2:25 “"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten”. He does not have too but I thank Him for being so gracious to my family and me.
Over the last three years I have been in a right relationship with my Heavenly Father, I have learned I am capable of showing love and receiving love. There will be some people who are not meant to be in my life, who mean me no good. I thank God for His gift of discernment!!! He allows me to see people for who they are so I do not waste my time on people who mean me no good.
So old ragged Joe does not even get the number anymore and the previous old ragged Joes do not get a call back, nor do I respond to texts or emails. God is replacing old ragged Joe with Faithfully _________, I do not know his name but I do know the next man I date will be my husband.
I have no time for old friends or wannabe friends who bring death and not life to me. The friendships God wants restore are being restored the ones He does not are not. And I am okay with it. If God said this is not the person you need to be friends with that is fine by me. Since He is the author and finisher of my life then He knew they meant me now good.
God has given me my trust back, I am now able to give people the benefit of the doubt because I still believe trust is earned and not freely given. I am grateful unto God for renewing our covenant relationship, renewing my relationship with my family, renewing my relationship with friends and for all the new relationships I will build in the future.
I thank Him!!!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I Mourn No More
It was 15 years ago today on a cold rainy December night that my sister Tracy who was nine months pregnant at the time was gunned down by our next door neighbor after an argument. The same neighbor also shot my mother, another sister and brother that night.
Tracy’s death was very hard for my too cope with. I would become suicidal, depression and destructive as a result of her death. Her death along with the death of my brother Ronnie would consume my life for over twelve years.
The road I will travel was a rocky one of disappoint, confusion, anger, bitterness, isolation, and rage. It was all directed at God. How could the loving God my mother and grandmothers told me about allow such a tragedy to occur to me and my family? Where was His compassion and love for us? Where was He and why if He was so powerful, mighty and knew everything did He allow this to happen to us? How could He allow this to happen to me? All these questions rested on my heart for nearly twelve years.
Over those twelve years after Tracy’s death I wander in and out of contact with God because I could not get Him to answer my questions of why this happen to me and my family. I knew God was real I just could not understand why He stopped caring about me and my family. As a result my relationship with God was a rocky and tumultuous one until one day back in August of 2005 when I answered His call in earnest.
It is three years later since I answered the call of God. The once rocky and tumultuous relationship is now a loving relationship. In my first year with God I learned, “In this world you will have trouble. John 16:33b" I also learned in that first year that I could “Cast all my anxiety on him because he cares for me. 1 Peter 5:7”
I learned the character of God and Jesus and more importantly I learned who Ryane was to God. It is so important for us to know who we are too God. We have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt the love God our Father has for His children. When I learned how very much my Heavenly Father loved me I was able “to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2b”
The more I learn and grow in God’s Word, the less I questioned Him “for His thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are my ways His ways. Isaiah 55:8" This is not too say that when things happen questions do not pop up in my head, they did, the difference is now the questions do not linger. I have come to the point in my relationship with God that I trust Him, so the questions I have maybe answered and they may not be answered but I trust God to working things out for me.
That is the difference in my remembrance of this day. The first thirteen was spent questioning God and mourning her; while the last two years has been spent celebrating her life and thanking God for her. The truth of the matter is God did not have to give us Tracy nor did He have to allow my mother, brother and other sister to survive the attack on my family. He could have taken them all that night but I thank Him for not doing so.
But I realize it is not easy to move on when you loss someone you love. It is one of the hardest things in the world to move on from. The death of a love one can break you it can cause you to question your very existing.
Naomi is a woman of the Old Testament. She lost her husband and two sons, Naomi was so destroyed by the deaths of her family members she told others to call her “Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me. Ruth 1:20-21" The name Mara means “bitter”. Naomi like myself was so focus on the lost and pain that we forgot God does not intention hurt us. He is not a God of malice intent. He is a God of loving and patience!!! We focused far to long on the mourn of our love ones that we could not celebrate their lives. I thank God for His patience with me over all those years.
Later on in Naomi life God give her a grandson name Obed who was the Father of King David of Israel. Like Naomi God is give me a beautiful great niece name Kelis and he is restoring my family even now. God promised to “repay me for the years the locusts have eaten. Joel 2:25” He does not have too but because He is a loving and giving Father He has given me and Naomi back some of what we lost.
So today I chose to celebrate the life my dear sister lived instead of mourning her. I am so grateful to God for giving me fifteen years with my loving big sister. While fifteen years does not seem like a long time, I believe it was enough time for us to express our love for one another. I can not tell you how to mourn your love ones but I ask you not to look at their deaths but to celebrate their lives. If we dwell on our love ones death we will never be able to celebrate their lives.
I love you Tracy!!!!
Please forgive any grammatical errors encountered in this piece. My editor is still on maternity leave with her beautiful baby boy.
Tracy’s death was very hard for my too cope with. I would become suicidal, depression and destructive as a result of her death. Her death along with the death of my brother Ronnie would consume my life for over twelve years.
The road I will travel was a rocky one of disappoint, confusion, anger, bitterness, isolation, and rage. It was all directed at God. How could the loving God my mother and grandmothers told me about allow such a tragedy to occur to me and my family? Where was His compassion and love for us? Where was He and why if He was so powerful, mighty and knew everything did He allow this to happen to us? How could He allow this to happen to me? All these questions rested on my heart for nearly twelve years.
Over those twelve years after Tracy’s death I wander in and out of contact with God because I could not get Him to answer my questions of why this happen to me and my family. I knew God was real I just could not understand why He stopped caring about me and my family. As a result my relationship with God was a rocky and tumultuous one until one day back in August of 2005 when I answered His call in earnest.
It is three years later since I answered the call of God. The once rocky and tumultuous relationship is now a loving relationship. In my first year with God I learned, “In this world you will have trouble. John 16:33b" I also learned in that first year that I could “Cast all my anxiety on him because he cares for me. 1 Peter 5:7”
I learned the character of God and Jesus and more importantly I learned who Ryane was to God. It is so important for us to know who we are too God. We have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt the love God our Father has for His children. When I learned how very much my Heavenly Father loved me I was able “to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2b”
The more I learn and grow in God’s Word, the less I questioned Him “for His thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are my ways His ways. Isaiah 55:8" This is not too say that when things happen questions do not pop up in my head, they did, the difference is now the questions do not linger. I have come to the point in my relationship with God that I trust Him, so the questions I have maybe answered and they may not be answered but I trust God to working things out for me.
That is the difference in my remembrance of this day. The first thirteen was spent questioning God and mourning her; while the last two years has been spent celebrating her life and thanking God for her. The truth of the matter is God did not have to give us Tracy nor did He have to allow my mother, brother and other sister to survive the attack on my family. He could have taken them all that night but I thank Him for not doing so.
But I realize it is not easy to move on when you loss someone you love. It is one of the hardest things in the world to move on from. The death of a love one can break you it can cause you to question your very existing.
Naomi is a woman of the Old Testament. She lost her husband and two sons, Naomi was so destroyed by the deaths of her family members she told others to call her “Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me. Ruth 1:20-21" The name Mara means “bitter”. Naomi like myself was so focus on the lost and pain that we forgot God does not intention hurt us. He is not a God of malice intent. He is a God of loving and patience!!! We focused far to long on the mourn of our love ones that we could not celebrate their lives. I thank God for His patience with me over all those years.
Later on in Naomi life God give her a grandson name Obed who was the Father of King David of Israel. Like Naomi God is give me a beautiful great niece name Kelis and he is restoring my family even now. God promised to “repay me for the years the locusts have eaten. Joel 2:25” He does not have too but because He is a loving and giving Father He has given me and Naomi back some of what we lost.
So today I chose to celebrate the life my dear sister lived instead of mourning her. I am so grateful to God for giving me fifteen years with my loving big sister. While fifteen years does not seem like a long time, I believe it was enough time for us to express our love for one another. I can not tell you how to mourn your love ones but I ask you not to look at their deaths but to celebrate their lives. If we dwell on our love ones death we will never be able to celebrate their lives.
I love you Tracy!!!!
Please forgive any grammatical errors encountered in this piece. My editor is still on maternity leave with her beautiful baby boy.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Please Be Advised I Am Being Sanctified
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14
I recall the day I answered the call of God on my life back in August 2005, after saying the salvation prayer there was this overwhelming feeling of my burdens being removing from me. Then this little preacher man told me the devil was going to step up his attacks on my life. He went on to describe the devil as being like a jealous lover, who believes if he can’t have you no one will. I was thinking, all man, God how I am suppose to deal with this stuff, you mean the devil is going to keep pursuing me. So while I thought about what my Pastor had said about the devil it did not occupy much of my thought process. I was so overjoyed at what I believed God was going to do with my life the other stuff did not matter.
While I should have listen to my Pastor when he said the devil will step up his attacks on my life I really should have listen in Bible Study class when we talked about the stages of salvation and I should have paid extra attention when we study the sanctification process. According to Bible scholar Tommy Higle sanctification is the process of being made holy or different from the world. Sanctification is a life long process by which we are continual being change from our formal self to be more like Christ.
Now if I had paid attention to any of the above comments shared with me by my Pastor and other Bible study teachers at my church, my lows would not have necessary been as low as they were. For instance, the time I was ready to leave my relationship with my Heavenly Father because of fornication. I sat back in the sound room of my church tell God I can not do this thing. Telling Him this fornication thing was much bigger than me and I could not handle it. I was tired of disappointing God at every turn, so I decide to just walk away. Then God in His awesomeness said fornication may be too big for you to handle but nothing is impossible for me (Luke 1:37). He spoke through my Pastor and encouraged me to continue worshipping Him, continue praying, continue studying His Word and continue to allow Him to transform my life. Knowing that I who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6). I left church that Sunday more determined than ever to stay in the perfect will and presence of my Heavenly Father not really knowing what the journey would be like but reassured God would be with me for the ride.
It has been hard and no I did not change immediately after the situation. I was still having sex and still feeling convicted each and every time I did it. I believed God had the power to change me I just need to give up Ryane’s will and desire to change my self and let my Father do His job. It says in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” When I begin to mediate and speak this Word over myself the impulse not to give into my flesh became doable. When I finally gave God this fornication issue and begin to praise Him for my deliverance is when I was able to stand against those attacks.
So come this January I will not only be celebration with my President Elect Barack Obama I will also be celebrating one year of celibacy. All glory and honor do to my Father who has once again saved me from myself. Has this thing been easy, no, but like the Apostle Paul said in Romans 7: 21, “When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.” But can I tell you all who is also right there with me, who never leaves me, who King David said in the Psalm 27: 10, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.” If any child of God should know something about the Father not forsaking you is King David that is why he later in Psalm 46:1 said, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” So now when those urges come I do what the Donald Lawrence song says, I encourage myself in the Lord. I begin to speak a Word of myself.
So as I continue on my path of sanctification this is what I know, I still have issues God needs to work out. I still get down for time to time when things do not work out the way I want them too. It’s then I have to reminder myself of what God said to the prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 55:8, “"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.” My issues maybe and the situations in my life maybe but the God I serve much greater than any situations I am facing.
I must admit the sanctification process is not a walk in the park, this journey gets a little rough but I stand as a witness if you trust God it will all work out for your good. I like what was said to the Prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 40:30-31, “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” I may get a little tired sometimes but my God will give me enough energy to make it. I may stumble and fall but my God will pick me up, dust me off and set me back on course. Thank you God!!!!
So I have come to the conclusion no matter what as I go through this sanctification process I am going to keep my eyes to the hills for which my help comes, knowing my help comes from the Lord (Psalm 121:1-2). I try everyday to live a life to the glory of God knowing He is in full control. I like the way the Apostle Paul put it in Philippians 3:12-14, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
I encourage you to continue in the faith continue to seek Him even in the midst of your storms because God is faithful.
Please forgive any grammatical errors my editor is home with her new baby boy Brandon.
I recall the day I answered the call of God on my life back in August 2005, after saying the salvation prayer there was this overwhelming feeling of my burdens being removing from me. Then this little preacher man told me the devil was going to step up his attacks on my life. He went on to describe the devil as being like a jealous lover, who believes if he can’t have you no one will. I was thinking, all man, God how I am suppose to deal with this stuff, you mean the devil is going to keep pursuing me. So while I thought about what my Pastor had said about the devil it did not occupy much of my thought process. I was so overjoyed at what I believed God was going to do with my life the other stuff did not matter.
While I should have listen to my Pastor when he said the devil will step up his attacks on my life I really should have listen in Bible Study class when we talked about the stages of salvation and I should have paid extra attention when we study the sanctification process. According to Bible scholar Tommy Higle sanctification is the process of being made holy or different from the world. Sanctification is a life long process by which we are continual being change from our formal self to be more like Christ.
Now if I had paid attention to any of the above comments shared with me by my Pastor and other Bible study teachers at my church, my lows would not have necessary been as low as they were. For instance, the time I was ready to leave my relationship with my Heavenly Father because of fornication. I sat back in the sound room of my church tell God I can not do this thing. Telling Him this fornication thing was much bigger than me and I could not handle it. I was tired of disappointing God at every turn, so I decide to just walk away. Then God in His awesomeness said fornication may be too big for you to handle but nothing is impossible for me (Luke 1:37). He spoke through my Pastor and encouraged me to continue worshipping Him, continue praying, continue studying His Word and continue to allow Him to transform my life. Knowing that I who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6). I left church that Sunday more determined than ever to stay in the perfect will and presence of my Heavenly Father not really knowing what the journey would be like but reassured God would be with me for the ride.
It has been hard and no I did not change immediately after the situation. I was still having sex and still feeling convicted each and every time I did it. I believed God had the power to change me I just need to give up Ryane’s will and desire to change my self and let my Father do His job. It says in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” When I begin to mediate and speak this Word over myself the impulse not to give into my flesh became doable. When I finally gave God this fornication issue and begin to praise Him for my deliverance is when I was able to stand against those attacks.
So come this January I will not only be celebration with my President Elect Barack Obama I will also be celebrating one year of celibacy. All glory and honor do to my Father who has once again saved me from myself. Has this thing been easy, no, but like the Apostle Paul said in Romans 7: 21, “When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.” But can I tell you all who is also right there with me, who never leaves me, who King David said in the Psalm 27: 10, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.” If any child of God should know something about the Father not forsaking you is King David that is why he later in Psalm 46:1 said, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” So now when those urges come I do what the Donald Lawrence song says, I encourage myself in the Lord. I begin to speak a Word of myself.
So as I continue on my path of sanctification this is what I know, I still have issues God needs to work out. I still get down for time to time when things do not work out the way I want them too. It’s then I have to reminder myself of what God said to the prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 55:8, “"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.” My issues maybe and the situations in my life maybe but the God I serve much greater than any situations I am facing.
I must admit the sanctification process is not a walk in the park, this journey gets a little rough but I stand as a witness if you trust God it will all work out for your good. I like what was said to the Prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 40:30-31, “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” I may get a little tired sometimes but my God will give me enough energy to make it. I may stumble and fall but my God will pick me up, dust me off and set me back on course. Thank you God!!!!
So I have come to the conclusion no matter what as I go through this sanctification process I am going to keep my eyes to the hills for which my help comes, knowing my help comes from the Lord (Psalm 121:1-2). I try everyday to live a life to the glory of God knowing He is in full control. I like the way the Apostle Paul put it in Philippians 3:12-14, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
I encourage you to continue in the faith continue to seek Him even in the midst of your storms because God is faithful.
Please forgive any grammatical errors my editor is home with her new baby boy Brandon.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Not to Fret My Pet
This morning I was praying for God to give me revelation on what He wanted me to share today with those who will read this blog. His Spirit led me to a song I woke up singing this morning “Blessed Assurance”. The song lyrics: “Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine; O what a fortress of glory divine! Heir of salvation, purchase of God, Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood. This is my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior, all the day long; This is my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior, all the day long.”
As I begin to think about the lyrics of this song, God brought to my mind the state of the economy. I read a couple of stories on yesterday about people who killed themselves and their family members due to financial worries. Another story was about a 90 year-old grandmother who shot herself because her home had been foreclosed. As I read these stories I thought, is it really that bad to take your life and the lives of others.” God brought to my remembrances the situations I faced after the deaths of my sister and brother how I was so depressed and in such despair that I attempted to take my life. So, I understand how one can be so down to the point where the thoughts of suicide appear to be the only way out of your situation. I understand being so down to the point where you think about taking your life. I have even been to the point where I contemplated taking someone else life and if it were not for the grace of God, I would have done it.
But before I went too far into recalling these events, the Spirit of God reminded me, Ryane that was your former self. You are no longer in that place. Thank God for Your salvation, Your grace, Your mercy and Your Son and my Savior Jesus Christ!!! I am no longer at that place in my life where the trials of this world can overtake me to the point where I want to take my life or the lives of others.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” Psalm 46:1. I know many of you are going through some hard times financial, so am I but I know and I am assured that trouble does not last always. Yes, my bills are stacking up with the rising cost of gas, groceries, and everything else that has increased of the last year. I look into my bank account and wonder sometimes where does the money go and why does it run from me so fast. Then I remember what King David said in Psalm 121:1-2, “I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. Then I remember what Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
What I have learned from my Savior in how to deal with those situations life deals is to “trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” Proverbs 3:6. Knowing that “weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” Psalms 30: 5b. That I can “cast all my anxiety on him because he cares for me 1 Peter 5:7”. So during this time of financial hardship do not turn away from the One who is able to meet all your “needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:19.
I have learned over the last three years, as I moved closer to a more intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father, that no matter the trials I face God is right there with me. God has promised throughout the New and Old Testaments to never leave us nor forsake us. It is in the midst of our trials, when we have tried everything we can it is only then we turn to God who is always right there waiting to be our ever present help in times of trouble. He is right there waiting to answer us but we have to learn to put first things first. God has to be first in our lives. He can not be first in our lives only when it is convenient for us. We have to put God in his rightful place as head of our lives. After all, “he created our inmost being and knit us together in our mother's womb” Psalms 139: 13. Even before “He formed us in the womb He knew us” Jeremiah 1:5. “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” Jeremiah 29:11-13.
So as the financial markets and industries continues to do a downward spiral and it seems like your bank accounts are doing the same, Why not trust God to work it out for you Why not stand on the Word of God in the midst of this financial storm? Why not believe the Word of God? He will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. He is faithful and just to do so. Do you know as children of the Most High God that every need we have on earth is taken care of? Yes, I know the bills are high and the money is low and it seems like God is not hearing your prayer. It is not that He is not hearing or answering your prayer, He hears you. You must pray in faith that whatever you ask of the Father will be done. The writer of the book of Hebrews described faith as being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. You may not see your bank account increasing or your bills decreasing because you are not operating in faith but instead you are operating in fear.
I dare you to put you to trust in God and put your faith in Him. Stop worrying about the bad economy! God sees what is going on and He does not want us to worry, so do not worry it only adds years to your appearance. Jesus in the book of Matthew put it this way, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”
So, don’t worry, ‘seek first God’s kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” Matthew 6:33-34.
Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine; O what a fortress of glory divine! Heir of salvation, purchase of God, Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood. This is my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior, all the day long; This is my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior, all the day long.
As I begin to think about the lyrics of this song, God brought to my mind the state of the economy. I read a couple of stories on yesterday about people who killed themselves and their family members due to financial worries. Another story was about a 90 year-old grandmother who shot herself because her home had been foreclosed. As I read these stories I thought, is it really that bad to take your life and the lives of others.” God brought to my remembrances the situations I faced after the deaths of my sister and brother how I was so depressed and in such despair that I attempted to take my life. So, I understand how one can be so down to the point where the thoughts of suicide appear to be the only way out of your situation. I understand being so down to the point where you think about taking your life. I have even been to the point where I contemplated taking someone else life and if it were not for the grace of God, I would have done it.
But before I went too far into recalling these events, the Spirit of God reminded me, Ryane that was your former self. You are no longer in that place. Thank God for Your salvation, Your grace, Your mercy and Your Son and my Savior Jesus Christ!!! I am no longer at that place in my life where the trials of this world can overtake me to the point where I want to take my life or the lives of others.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” Psalm 46:1. I know many of you are going through some hard times financial, so am I but I know and I am assured that trouble does not last always. Yes, my bills are stacking up with the rising cost of gas, groceries, and everything else that has increased of the last year. I look into my bank account and wonder sometimes where does the money go and why does it run from me so fast. Then I remember what King David said in Psalm 121:1-2, “I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. Then I remember what Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
What I have learned from my Savior in how to deal with those situations life deals is to “trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” Proverbs 3:6. Knowing that “weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” Psalms 30: 5b. That I can “cast all my anxiety on him because he cares for me 1 Peter 5:7”. So during this time of financial hardship do not turn away from the One who is able to meet all your “needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:19.
I have learned over the last three years, as I moved closer to a more intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father, that no matter the trials I face God is right there with me. God has promised throughout the New and Old Testaments to never leave us nor forsake us. It is in the midst of our trials, when we have tried everything we can it is only then we turn to God who is always right there waiting to be our ever present help in times of trouble. He is right there waiting to answer us but we have to learn to put first things first. God has to be first in our lives. He can not be first in our lives only when it is convenient for us. We have to put God in his rightful place as head of our lives. After all, “he created our inmost being and knit us together in our mother's womb” Psalms 139: 13. Even before “He formed us in the womb He knew us” Jeremiah 1:5. “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” Jeremiah 29:11-13.
So as the financial markets and industries continues to do a downward spiral and it seems like your bank accounts are doing the same, Why not trust God to work it out for you Why not stand on the Word of God in the midst of this financial storm? Why not believe the Word of God? He will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. He is faithful and just to do so. Do you know as children of the Most High God that every need we have on earth is taken care of? Yes, I know the bills are high and the money is low and it seems like God is not hearing your prayer. It is not that He is not hearing or answering your prayer, He hears you. You must pray in faith that whatever you ask of the Father will be done. The writer of the book of Hebrews described faith as being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. You may not see your bank account increasing or your bills decreasing because you are not operating in faith but instead you are operating in fear.
I dare you to put you to trust in God and put your faith in Him. Stop worrying about the bad economy! God sees what is going on and He does not want us to worry, so do not worry it only adds years to your appearance. Jesus in the book of Matthew put it this way, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”
So, don’t worry, ‘seek first God’s kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” Matthew 6:33-34.
Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine; O what a fortress of glory divine! Heir of salvation, purchase of God, Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood. This is my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior, all the day long; This is my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior, all the day long.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
No Need for a Back-Up Plan
I had a story prepared to post to the blog but decide not to after I received a telephone call from one of my friends. She called to ask for my advice on pursue her dreams of being a restaurant owner and should she have a back-up plan in the event things do not work out. My answer to her was “you do not need a back up plan.” Here is why I believe she does not need a back-up plan.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 The Lord spoke these very words to the prophet Jeremiah and I know they are applicable to us today.
We all have a purpose and plan for our lives, so when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior that plan and purpose becomes clearer to us as we drawer closer to God. Before I answered the call of God on my life, I want to be a sportscaster. Yea, I want to be a sportscaster. I just thought since I loved sports, I loved talking about sports, and I knew about all the major sports in America why not pursue a career sports broadcasting. I went on to school, joined the broadcaster club, did an internship with a local news station, became a member of the National Association of Black Journalist and graduated from North Carolina Central University with a Bachelors of Arts in Mass Communications. I was will on my way to becoming the Oprah Winfrey of sports broadcasting.
Armed with my degree in hand, I was ready to take the media world be storm. But God had other plans for my life. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.” Isaiah 55:8
See after being away from home for so many years, I should not have been apprehensive about starting out in another state but I was. Yet, there was some apprehensive there. Furthermore, there was something on the inside of me telling me to come home. I knew coming home to Washington, DC was risky for my career being DC is one of the top media markets, which means it is very hard to get into as a fresh face journalist. So, I found myself during odd jobs in between job interviews for media outlets.
After being turned down more times than I can count, I found myself one night on my knees crying out to God for some guidance. I was at my wits end, tried of being rejected and honesty I was tried of seeing everyone else prosper in their chosen career fields but me. That night I asked God, what plans do You have for me, why was I here on this earth. I knew He had a plan for my life because I read in His book of life and I believed it.
The next day while I was sitting at my desk, God brought to my mind an article I wrote as a freshman in college. I wondered what it meant, I did not have to wait long for God’s response, He said to write a book based on the article. My response was to tell God, I was not going to tell the world my business. See the book I was told to write was how God had seen me through the dark days and how He was sustaining me through His Word, love, grace and mercy. I still hesitate at the thought of putting everything I had been through into a book for all to read. But then God brought to my mind the prayer I prayed from the night before and said, “this is my plan for you.” To use your talent of story telling, writing, the testimony I have given you and the spiritual gifts I have bestow upon you, I am going to use you to minister to my lost sheep. WOW!!! As a babe in Christ I was blowing away at the thought of God using me. Furthermore I was intrigue and wanting to know more about these spiritual gifts that God had bestow upon me. God answered my intrigue in the form of a Bible Study class on Spiritual gifts. I learned what my gifts were, what they were meant for and how to operate in my gifts.
The spiritual gifts God has bestowed upon me are the gift of encouragement, the gift of evangelism and the gift of prophecy. See in order for me to write, I have to have something to write about (God), I have to have a purpose for writing a book or this blog (so others will have a right relationship with God) and I have to be encourage myself (Holy Spirit) to write, to be an encouragement to others I thought evangelism had to be a face-to-face thing but God said I can uses your writing, as longs as I am in it, to reach those I am seeking to reach. The Apostle Paul wrote letters of encourage as well as evangelistic letters to the different churches and people throughout during his time. Not only telling them about the glory of God but also teaching them about a right relationship with God.
After spending time with God and in His Word I learned more about His plan for my life. I accepted the call of my life to be used for God’s glory and most importantly I want to operate in the plan and purpose God had predestined for me. He had a plan for my life way before He placed me in my mother womb. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” Jeremiah 1:5 My life was already laid out for me before I was a thought in my parent’s mind.
I know in my heart as well as in my mind God called me to ministry in the writing form, why do I need a back up plan when God clearly says, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a human being, that he should change his mind."1 Samuel 15:29 So if the Father promised you He had a plan for you and He showed you that plan for your life, follow Him. He will lead you to where He wants you to be in all areas of your life not just your career. As long as I follow the plans God has for me I do not need a back-up plan.
So, that is why I told my friend she does not need a back up plan. If God instill in you’re the drive, the will and the purpose to do something, DO IT. “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…” Philippians 1:6
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 The Lord spoke these very words to the prophet Jeremiah and I know they are applicable to us today.
We all have a purpose and plan for our lives, so when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior that plan and purpose becomes clearer to us as we drawer closer to God. Before I answered the call of God on my life, I want to be a sportscaster. Yea, I want to be a sportscaster. I just thought since I loved sports, I loved talking about sports, and I knew about all the major sports in America why not pursue a career sports broadcasting. I went on to school, joined the broadcaster club, did an internship with a local news station, became a member of the National Association of Black Journalist and graduated from North Carolina Central University with a Bachelors of Arts in Mass Communications. I was will on my way to becoming the Oprah Winfrey of sports broadcasting.
Armed with my degree in hand, I was ready to take the media world be storm. But God had other plans for my life. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.” Isaiah 55:8
See after being away from home for so many years, I should not have been apprehensive about starting out in another state but I was. Yet, there was some apprehensive there. Furthermore, there was something on the inside of me telling me to come home. I knew coming home to Washington, DC was risky for my career being DC is one of the top media markets, which means it is very hard to get into as a fresh face journalist. So, I found myself during odd jobs in between job interviews for media outlets.
After being turned down more times than I can count, I found myself one night on my knees crying out to God for some guidance. I was at my wits end, tried of being rejected and honesty I was tried of seeing everyone else prosper in their chosen career fields but me. That night I asked God, what plans do You have for me, why was I here on this earth. I knew He had a plan for my life because I read in His book of life and I believed it.
The next day while I was sitting at my desk, God brought to my mind an article I wrote as a freshman in college. I wondered what it meant, I did not have to wait long for God’s response, He said to write a book based on the article. My response was to tell God, I was not going to tell the world my business. See the book I was told to write was how God had seen me through the dark days and how He was sustaining me through His Word, love, grace and mercy. I still hesitate at the thought of putting everything I had been through into a book for all to read. But then God brought to my mind the prayer I prayed from the night before and said, “this is my plan for you.” To use your talent of story telling, writing, the testimony I have given you and the spiritual gifts I have bestow upon you, I am going to use you to minister to my lost sheep. WOW!!! As a babe in Christ I was blowing away at the thought of God using me. Furthermore I was intrigue and wanting to know more about these spiritual gifts that God had bestow upon me. God answered my intrigue in the form of a Bible Study class on Spiritual gifts. I learned what my gifts were, what they were meant for and how to operate in my gifts.
The spiritual gifts God has bestowed upon me are the gift of encouragement, the gift of evangelism and the gift of prophecy. See in order for me to write, I have to have something to write about (God), I have to have a purpose for writing a book or this blog (so others will have a right relationship with God) and I have to be encourage myself (Holy Spirit) to write, to be an encouragement to others I thought evangelism had to be a face-to-face thing but God said I can uses your writing, as longs as I am in it, to reach those I am seeking to reach. The Apostle Paul wrote letters of encourage as well as evangelistic letters to the different churches and people throughout during his time. Not only telling them about the glory of God but also teaching them about a right relationship with God.
After spending time with God and in His Word I learned more about His plan for my life. I accepted the call of my life to be used for God’s glory and most importantly I want to operate in the plan and purpose God had predestined for me. He had a plan for my life way before He placed me in my mother womb. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” Jeremiah 1:5 My life was already laid out for me before I was a thought in my parent’s mind.
I know in my heart as well as in my mind God called me to ministry in the writing form, why do I need a back up plan when God clearly says, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a human being, that he should change his mind."1 Samuel 15:29 So if the Father promised you He had a plan for you and He showed you that plan for your life, follow Him. He will lead you to where He wants you to be in all areas of your life not just your career. As long as I follow the plans God has for me I do not need a back-up plan.
So, that is why I told my friend she does not need a back up plan. If God instill in you’re the drive, the will and the purpose to do something, DO IT. “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…” Philippians 1:6
Monday, September 22, 2008
A Cause for Celebration
Alright, so it is birthday week for me and those of you who know me, know I love to celebrate my birthday beyond the day I was born. This is one of those milestone years for me I will be 30 years old on Saturday September 27. At my church when God is allowing a big event to take place and the joy on the inside just needs to come out, we just simply say, I’m SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED, so that is where I found myself five days before my 30th birthday, SO EXCITED!!!
I know this is probably hard for some who struggle with this whole turning 30 businesses, but for me it is an accomplishment. Some of you may be wondering why I consider turning 30 a accomplishment, well, after my sister was killed I became severely depressed which led to suicidal thoughts and attempts. For most of my teenager and early adult years I lived in a depressive state. See, for me life and death was an everyday decision I had to make, was I going to given into the trials and pressures of life or was I going to try once more to live just one more day. This was the decision I had to make for almost ten years of my life until one day there was a knock on the door of my heart and the Lord said, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. Ryane do you hear my voice and will you open the door, So, I can come in and eat with you and you with me.”(Paraphrased) Revelations 3:20.
So, now when I hear songs like Marvin Sapp’s Never Would Have Made It, I smile because I know I am here, not because of anything I did but because of His grace and mercy. Mississippi Mass Choir has a song called Grace and Mercy, the song says, “Your grace and mercy brought me through, I am living this moment because of you.” The song goes on to say, “I want to thank you and praise you too because Your grace and mercy brought me through.” If you are like me and you know it is because of God’s grace and His mercy that you are better than you were, just thank Him right now.
For those who do not know about His grace and mercy, I dare you to try Him for yourself. If you have tried alcohol, sex, drugs and anything else to ease the pain with no results, how about trying Jesus. He can heal your brokenness in ways you could not begin to comprehend. I answered His call in earnest in August of 2005, since then my Heavenly Father has been taking care of His baby girl. I took Him at His Word and begin “being transformed by the renewing of my mind. Then I was able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Paraphrased) Romans 12:2. So, no longer is suicidal a thought, no longer am I ruled by bitterness, anger, fornication, alcohol, revenge, and destruction. I am living the life God promised me, taking back what the devil steal from me. And I am rejoicing today, for I am about to recovery it all. How do I know that I will recovery it all, my Heavenly Father tells me, “He will repay me for the years the locusts have stolen.” (Paraphrased) Joel 2: 25a.
So, as my 30th birthday approaches, I found myself at peace with life, knowing my best days are ahead of me. The LORD will bless the latter part of my life more than the former part. (Paraphrased) Job 42:12. As, I march on to the day in which my life begin on this earth I do so with gladness and a joy within me. A joy I know came from the God of my salvation, the One who called me out of the darkness into the marvelous light to be a living testimony to His goodness, mercy, grace and abounding love. The beautiful thing I have learned about God is when He answers our prayers, He sometimes gives us more than we prayed for and sometimes He gives us stuff we never asked Him for. So, as I continue to seek Him I know I have only begun to see His promises and blessings upon my life.
But there was a time I use to ask God would I ever be happy or would I ever have peace in my life. He has answered those questions and to be quite honest, God has done me one better, He has given me joy deep down on the inside and He has given me His peace. See happiness is a situational thing but joy is something totally different. The www.studylight.org website describes joy as the fruit of a right relation with God. It is not something people can create by their own efforts. We can create our own happiness but joy is something we get from our Heavenly Father. I thank Him for the joy He has imparted to me!
As I begin to reflect and celebrate the day I was born into this world, I look back with gratitude and a grateful heart. I am grateful to the Lord, for not only saving me but for keeping me, delivering me, and for loving me past life’s pains. I found myself smiling more than I have in the past, with a song of praise on my lips all the time, and a determination to continue to grow in the Lord.
And you know what, I feel like singing, Never would have made it, never could have made it, without You, I would have lost it all, but now I see how You were there for me; And I can say; Never would have made it, Never could have made it, Without You. When I look back over all You brought me thru. I can see that You were the one that I held on to; Oh I would have lost it all, oh but now I see how You were there for me; would have made it, never could have made it, without You; I would have lost my mind a long time ago, if it had not been for you. I am stronger; I am wiser; I am better; So much better; I made it thru my storm and my test because You were there to carry me thru my mess.
Thank you all and have a blessed week.
I know this is probably hard for some who struggle with this whole turning 30 businesses, but for me it is an accomplishment. Some of you may be wondering why I consider turning 30 a accomplishment, well, after my sister was killed I became severely depressed which led to suicidal thoughts and attempts. For most of my teenager and early adult years I lived in a depressive state. See, for me life and death was an everyday decision I had to make, was I going to given into the trials and pressures of life or was I going to try once more to live just one more day. This was the decision I had to make for almost ten years of my life until one day there was a knock on the door of my heart and the Lord said, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. Ryane do you hear my voice and will you open the door, So, I can come in and eat with you and you with me.”(Paraphrased) Revelations 3:20.
So, now when I hear songs like Marvin Sapp’s Never Would Have Made It, I smile because I know I am here, not because of anything I did but because of His grace and mercy. Mississippi Mass Choir has a song called Grace and Mercy, the song says, “Your grace and mercy brought me through, I am living this moment because of you.” The song goes on to say, “I want to thank you and praise you too because Your grace and mercy brought me through.” If you are like me and you know it is because of God’s grace and His mercy that you are better than you were, just thank Him right now.
For those who do not know about His grace and mercy, I dare you to try Him for yourself. If you have tried alcohol, sex, drugs and anything else to ease the pain with no results, how about trying Jesus. He can heal your brokenness in ways you could not begin to comprehend. I answered His call in earnest in August of 2005, since then my Heavenly Father has been taking care of His baby girl. I took Him at His Word and begin “being transformed by the renewing of my mind. Then I was able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Paraphrased) Romans 12:2. So, no longer is suicidal a thought, no longer am I ruled by bitterness, anger, fornication, alcohol, revenge, and destruction. I am living the life God promised me, taking back what the devil steal from me. And I am rejoicing today, for I am about to recovery it all. How do I know that I will recovery it all, my Heavenly Father tells me, “He will repay me for the years the locusts have stolen.” (Paraphrased) Joel 2: 25a.
So, as my 30th birthday approaches, I found myself at peace with life, knowing my best days are ahead of me. The LORD will bless the latter part of my life more than the former part. (Paraphrased) Job 42:12. As, I march on to the day in which my life begin on this earth I do so with gladness and a joy within me. A joy I know came from the God of my salvation, the One who called me out of the darkness into the marvelous light to be a living testimony to His goodness, mercy, grace and abounding love. The beautiful thing I have learned about God is when He answers our prayers, He sometimes gives us more than we prayed for and sometimes He gives us stuff we never asked Him for. So, as I continue to seek Him I know I have only begun to see His promises and blessings upon my life.
But there was a time I use to ask God would I ever be happy or would I ever have peace in my life. He has answered those questions and to be quite honest, God has done me one better, He has given me joy deep down on the inside and He has given me His peace. See happiness is a situational thing but joy is something totally different. The www.studylight.org website describes joy as the fruit of a right relation with God. It is not something people can create by their own efforts. We can create our own happiness but joy is something we get from our Heavenly Father. I thank Him for the joy He has imparted to me!
As I begin to reflect and celebrate the day I was born into this world, I look back with gratitude and a grateful heart. I am grateful to the Lord, for not only saving me but for keeping me, delivering me, and for loving me past life’s pains. I found myself smiling more than I have in the past, with a song of praise on my lips all the time, and a determination to continue to grow in the Lord.
And you know what, I feel like singing, Never would have made it, never could have made it, without You, I would have lost it all, but now I see how You were there for me; And I can say; Never would have made it, Never could have made it, Without You. When I look back over all You brought me thru. I can see that You were the one that I held on to; Oh I would have lost it all, oh but now I see how You were there for me; would have made it, never could have made it, without You; I would have lost my mind a long time ago, if it had not been for you. I am stronger; I am wiser; I am better; So much better; I made it thru my storm and my test because You were there to carry me thru my mess.
Thank you all and have a blessed week.
Monday, September 15, 2008
A Love That Is Beyond Understanding
As a young Christian woman, I have faced many obstacles in my life with Christ and as well in my life before I knew Him. But the changes I faced with Him have been some of my biggest challenges to date. My life has been one of my ups and downs grewing up in some of the toughest neighborhoods in Southeast Washington, DC but through it all God has been my protector and my friend.
In 1993, my family and faith in God was rocked when my sister who was 8 months pregnant was killed by our next door neighbor after an argument. My mother, brother and other sister were also shot that night. It was this night that the little faith I had in God died that night too. I would go on to experience the death of my brother two and half years later. He was gunned down in the same alley where my sister was killed. Following my sister’s murder, I would go on to see many friends, neighbors and associates die violent deaths.
I became so discouraged with life that I fell into a deep depression. In this depressive state I tried to commit suicide four or so times. The last suicide attempt started me on a path to the only Person who could heal my broken spirit and soul. The last time I tried to commit suicide, I was almost successful. In my failed attempt on my life, God reintroduced Himself in my life. The day I was released from the hospital, my mother at her wits end and out of things to do to tried to help me out of this depressive state she came in my bedroom and dropped her Bibles on my bed and as she left out of my bedroom, she verbally and spiritually left me with God. I heard her say, “God, I tried everything I can think of; now I give her to You.”
I sat on my bed with Mom’s Bibles not really knowing what to do with them. When my mother walked back through my door to hand me the phone on the other end was my grandmother, whose words would led me to open the two bible in front of me. My grandmother shared with me these “God did not turn His back on you, you turned your back on Him.” So, after getting off the telephone with her, I decide to open the Bible.
It would open up to Psalm 23 and it was like God Himself was reading the words of this Psalm to me. As I read “Yea, thru I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and staff, they comfort me.” God was letting me know I am here for you Ryane, just turn your heart to me, but like Saul I missed my first encounter with God. There would be other missed encounters with God until some years later I had my on “the road to Damascus” experience. This experience did not take place in a church or any other holy place. It took place in my living room as I sat and watched television. Yes, as I sat there flipping through channel after channel the Lord begun to minister to my soul. He brought those old painful memories up of my sister and brothers death; other painful images started to come to me like the night my brother’s friend came into my room and molested me, the day I laid down and killed my baby. Those painful memories were followed by thoughts of my college graduation and more happier times but the happier times were limited. Then the Lord reminded me of things I was spared from like the night I went to a hotel room with a friend and two guys we really did not know. The guy wanted to have sex but I was a virgin and did not want to lose my virginity in that way. I walked out of that hotel room with my virginity. Then the day I was suppose to go out with this guy but at the last minute decide not to. Almost thirty minutes later the car was shot up and one of the guys was killed. It was at that moment the Lord told me it was Me who was watching over you through the happy times, it was Me who spared you from going through other things, and it was Me who keep You through the bad days. Then something in me said it was time to stop running from God and go home. So, I went and give my life to the One who was able to restore the lost years to me.
In my foolishness I thought things were going to get easier; even after I heard the preacher tell all of us standing before him that the enemy was going to step up his attacks on our lives. So, after about a month or two of being in the Lord’s house; I was feeling real good about things, I was been delivered from some of my afflictions. Life was looking good and then I had my first setback. One of my afflictions is sex and for the first two years of my walk with Christ I would wrestle with this afflict in my own strength and fail each time. It would be this affliction that would cause me to decide to leave the church. As I sat in church thinking this is my last time because I was so discouraged that I could not be faithful to the God who had saved me and loved me beyond anything my human heart and mind can comprehend. In my fleshly mind I did not think I could get this Christian life right and at that moment the Lord started to minister to my soul, as the Lord ministered to my soul the thought of walking away from the relationship we had started to build over the last two years disappeared.
There were still days where I felt discouraged but it was in those days the Lord kept me. For me I think some of my saddest and challenges days were when I disappointed the God who loves me. I look back over the times when the Lord provided an apparent escape from me and I still went and did what Ryane wanted to do. In His word the Lord tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 “But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand under it.” Each time I chose not to take the escape route the Lord gave me would end in me feeling like I had disappointed Him yet again. When I would talk to Him in prayer I would feel so guilty and thoughts that He should not forgive me came to me mind. I wondered why He kept forgiving me each and every time I sinned against Him in Psalm 51 it says “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that you are proved right when You speak and justified when You judge.” I knew in my heart that God would have been just to punish me for being disobedient to Him. But instead of punishing me every time I sinned against Him, when I prayed and asked for forgiveness, I found love.
It reminds me of the parable of the lost son in Luke 15:11-32, we go out and do our own thing and once we are broken and weary; we remember the Lord of our salvation. We remember whose child we are that we are royalty that we are children of the King of Kings; that we did not have to live a life of despair. It is in our brokenness that we return to our Father, who always welcomes us back with love.
See even in the most challenging of times in my relationship with my Heavenly Father, the times I struggled to understand why He loves a sinful young woman like me. Why He continues to forgive me time and time again and why He will not let me go is so far from my comprehension. I am just overjoyed that He chose me to be apart of His family. I might not know the why’s but this I do know, my Heavenly Father loves me!!! He loves me so much that he looked hundreds of years into the future and knew I would need Him one day. "For God so loved Ryane (the world), that He gave His only begotten Son, that if Ryane would (whosoever) believe in Him she should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). This is the love my Heavenly Father has for those He calls His children. So, while I do not understand why, He loves me I do understand that His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. Isaiah 55:8” Thank You Father!!!
In 1993, my family and faith in God was rocked when my sister who was 8 months pregnant was killed by our next door neighbor after an argument. My mother, brother and other sister were also shot that night. It was this night that the little faith I had in God died that night too. I would go on to experience the death of my brother two and half years later. He was gunned down in the same alley where my sister was killed. Following my sister’s murder, I would go on to see many friends, neighbors and associates die violent deaths.
I became so discouraged with life that I fell into a deep depression. In this depressive state I tried to commit suicide four or so times. The last suicide attempt started me on a path to the only Person who could heal my broken spirit and soul. The last time I tried to commit suicide, I was almost successful. In my failed attempt on my life, God reintroduced Himself in my life. The day I was released from the hospital, my mother at her wits end and out of things to do to tried to help me out of this depressive state she came in my bedroom and dropped her Bibles on my bed and as she left out of my bedroom, she verbally and spiritually left me with God. I heard her say, “God, I tried everything I can think of; now I give her to You.”
I sat on my bed with Mom’s Bibles not really knowing what to do with them. When my mother walked back through my door to hand me the phone on the other end was my grandmother, whose words would led me to open the two bible in front of me. My grandmother shared with me these “God did not turn His back on you, you turned your back on Him.” So, after getting off the telephone with her, I decide to open the Bible.
It would open up to Psalm 23 and it was like God Himself was reading the words of this Psalm to me. As I read “Yea, thru I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and staff, they comfort me.” God was letting me know I am here for you Ryane, just turn your heart to me, but like Saul I missed my first encounter with God. There would be other missed encounters with God until some years later I had my on “the road to Damascus” experience. This experience did not take place in a church or any other holy place. It took place in my living room as I sat and watched television. Yes, as I sat there flipping through channel after channel the Lord begun to minister to my soul. He brought those old painful memories up of my sister and brothers death; other painful images started to come to me like the night my brother’s friend came into my room and molested me, the day I laid down and killed my baby. Those painful memories were followed by thoughts of my college graduation and more happier times but the happier times were limited. Then the Lord reminded me of things I was spared from like the night I went to a hotel room with a friend and two guys we really did not know. The guy wanted to have sex but I was a virgin and did not want to lose my virginity in that way. I walked out of that hotel room with my virginity. Then the day I was suppose to go out with this guy but at the last minute decide not to. Almost thirty minutes later the car was shot up and one of the guys was killed. It was at that moment the Lord told me it was Me who was watching over you through the happy times, it was Me who spared you from going through other things, and it was Me who keep You through the bad days. Then something in me said it was time to stop running from God and go home. So, I went and give my life to the One who was able to restore the lost years to me.
In my foolishness I thought things were going to get easier; even after I heard the preacher tell all of us standing before him that the enemy was going to step up his attacks on our lives. So, after about a month or two of being in the Lord’s house; I was feeling real good about things, I was been delivered from some of my afflictions. Life was looking good and then I had my first setback. One of my afflictions is sex and for the first two years of my walk with Christ I would wrestle with this afflict in my own strength and fail each time. It would be this affliction that would cause me to decide to leave the church. As I sat in church thinking this is my last time because I was so discouraged that I could not be faithful to the God who had saved me and loved me beyond anything my human heart and mind can comprehend. In my fleshly mind I did not think I could get this Christian life right and at that moment the Lord started to minister to my soul, as the Lord ministered to my soul the thought of walking away from the relationship we had started to build over the last two years disappeared.
There were still days where I felt discouraged but it was in those days the Lord kept me. For me I think some of my saddest and challenges days were when I disappointed the God who loves me. I look back over the times when the Lord provided an apparent escape from me and I still went and did what Ryane wanted to do. In His word the Lord tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 “But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand under it.” Each time I chose not to take the escape route the Lord gave me would end in me feeling like I had disappointed Him yet again. When I would talk to Him in prayer I would feel so guilty and thoughts that He should not forgive me came to me mind. I wondered why He kept forgiving me each and every time I sinned against Him in Psalm 51 it says “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that you are proved right when You speak and justified when You judge.” I knew in my heart that God would have been just to punish me for being disobedient to Him. But instead of punishing me every time I sinned against Him, when I prayed and asked for forgiveness, I found love.
It reminds me of the parable of the lost son in Luke 15:11-32, we go out and do our own thing and once we are broken and weary; we remember the Lord of our salvation. We remember whose child we are that we are royalty that we are children of the King of Kings; that we did not have to live a life of despair. It is in our brokenness that we return to our Father, who always welcomes us back with love.
See even in the most challenging of times in my relationship with my Heavenly Father, the times I struggled to understand why He loves a sinful young woman like me. Why He continues to forgive me time and time again and why He will not let me go is so far from my comprehension. I am just overjoyed that He chose me to be apart of His family. I might not know the why’s but this I do know, my Heavenly Father loves me!!! He loves me so much that he looked hundreds of years into the future and knew I would need Him one day. "For God so loved Ryane (the world), that He gave His only begotten Son, that if Ryane would (whosoever) believe in Him she should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). This is the love my Heavenly Father has for those He calls His children. So, while I do not understand why, He loves me I do understand that His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. Isaiah 55:8” Thank You Father!!!
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