Received the Perfect Gift

This past Sunday my Pastor preached from Luke 1:26-38 and he referred to Jesus as being a gift to us all. As I went back and read Luke 1: 26-38 which is title “The Birth of Jesus Foretold” and think about the Word God delivered through his servant Sunday, the words I continue to see and feel are hope, peace, joy and protection.

As many of you who follow this blog know it was doing the Christmas season fifteen years ago my family was devastated by tragedy. When this happened I did not feel hope, peace, joy, and there sure was no feeling of protection, I felt violated. But I do not want to focus this message on tragedies but rather on the perfect gift that God has given to all who would accept it.

I know many of you may be hurting for one reason or the other and trust me I wholeheartedly understand the pain you may be feeling right now. For many years the holidays were a struggle for me and I found no comfort in the perfect gift God has so freely given us all in Mary’s baby. But can you do something for me or better yet do it for yourself, please do not focus on your pain this Christmas season. Do not focus on whether or not you have the money to buy the kids anything or everything they want. Do not focus on the person who left you. Do not focus on the death of love ones. Do not focus on your finances.

Instead focus all your energy on Jesus Christ after all He is the reason for the season. If it were not for His birth there would be no Christmas. So, to those who are contemplating suicide, I challenge you to open the Bible up and Psalm 23, then read Luke 1:26-38, and then go to Romans 5:1-11.

To those of you who are missing a love one this season open your Bibles and read Psalm 23. It was in this Psalm that I received comfort and reassurance in the most difficult of times. It was reassuring to know “even as I walk through the valley of death and darkness God is right there to comfort me.” Let Jesus being your comfort this season and beyond. Do not focus on who is missing from your life but rejoice for to us a son was born and He is the Prince of peace.

I am reminder of what King David wrote in Psalm 27:13 “He remained confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.” As King David, I am confident in my Lord that all who are weary, all who are mourning, and all who are depressed, you will indeed see the good of the Lord in the land of the living. I stand as a living witness because “He turned my wailing into dancing; He removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.” Psalm 30: 11

Halleijuh to the King of Kings!!!

Please do not focus on the pain in your life but focus on the hope, peace, joy and protection that is freely given to us in the form of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

So this season receive your perfect gift, receive the Lord Jesus Christ. It is the gift that continues to give throughout your life. And remember what Jesus told the disciples before He returned to be with the Father in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Remember Jesus is the reason for the season. So instead of suffering during this season remember He came that we may have life and have it more abundantly.

Happy Jesus Day to you all!!! May God give you and your family the fruits of His Spirit which are love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control this holiday season and for the rest of your lives.

Please excuse any grammatical errors you encountered in this piece.

Who Can I Turn Too

When one of God children is going through problems in their lives, they should turn to God for answers. But what if God is not answering their cries for help? What if they can feel the presence of the Lord all around them but can’t hear Him? Who can they turn too for assistance with the problem? This is the question I faced these last two months, after dreaming the most disturbing things about people who are connect to me personally and professionally and after giving in to unusual thoughts and imaginations I need answers to why this was happening to me so I turned to God but there was no response from my Heavenly Father and like so many of my brothers and sisters in Christ I decide to suffered in silence with these thoughts.

In the meantime I continued to seek God’s counsel in the morning, during the day and at nights to help me through this, to deliver my mind from these attacks from the enemy. I asked if He would send me a Joseph (see book of Genesis chapter 41) or Daniel (see book of Daniel chapter 5:12) to interpret the dreams for me, if He would not tell me directly what they meant. Still there was nothing but I could feel His presence all around me. After spending the last three years getting to know Him, I knew the silence was either He was trying to teach me something or He was trying to show me something. But being the sometimes stubborn person that I am, I just wanted to hear directly from my Heavenly Father, clearly He knows me better than anyone else. So He should be the person to tell me what all this stuff means and what I need to do. God who is the author of my life knows best what is going on, so at this point I did not want second hand information. I wanted it directly from the sources but He was not answering me. I contradict my prayer by asking God to send someone who could interpret dreams to almost demanding He tell me what they meant.

This last two weeks were difficult for me, writing this blog is a little difficult for me but if I can help somebody drawer closer to God than the temporary discomfort I feel is well worth it. I am within my Father’s perfect will for the life He has given me. It has been difficult because I am a very private person by nature and sharing my life with people I do not know is something I am not use too, especially the deeply private stuff, like this.

Then on Monday of this week I felt like I had reached my breaking point. I went to God seeking His guidance, begging for something to change then I saw the numbers 8 and 47 in my dreams. I knew the number 8 meant new beginnings but there was no meaning for the number 47, so I asked God, the meaning of the number 47. As I pondered what the numbers meant the Holy Spirit lead me to the Psalms but I was running late, so I decide to read Psalm 23.

Tuesday came and things seem to be any better for me, so as I sat in Bible Study class Tuesday night contemplating on whether or not to tell the class about what I believe to be attacks from the enemy on my mind. There was the Holy Spirit again urging me on to speak up. It was at the end of the class when we do praise reports and prayer request that I finally asked for prayer. If God would not answer me directly then I would have my brothers and sister petition Him on my behalf and that they did as well as encourage me. As our teacher was praying, God was comforting me, I felt at ease. The dreams, visions and images were an attack from the enemy but I remember the praise of the righteous avail. I also remember were two or three are gathered in My name, God said there He would be also.

It was then I heard my Heavenly Father talking to me, He said, “Ryane you are not an island unto yourselves, you need them and they need you.” It was in the hugs and encouraging words of support, that God revealed to me, it is okay to ask for help sometimes. Because you are my child does not mean you will not go through some problems in this life but because you are mine, you can count on some problems in this life. God said the difference between you and the people of the world is you have me and your brothers and sisters in the faith to lean on.

Here is the lesson I learned, it is okay to lean on others when you are feeling down. I do not have too suffer in silence when things are going on with me. My brothers and sisters in Christ are here to help me and pray for me and if God be for me, who really can be against. No one!!!!

So, when you are not hearing anything from God know that you can turn to your brothers and sister in Christ.

Please excuse any grammatical errors or mispellings in this blog, my editor is still at home enjoying her beautiful gift from God.

My Relationship

How does one approach relationships when they have lived most of their lives with the notion “everything I love I loss”. This is the situation I find myself face with after I was saved. For so many years I have distance myself from becoming emotional attached to virtual everyone on this journey of life.

Because some of the people I trusted violated me and my family in the past I decided it was not worth the emotional heartache associated with allowing people into my personal and emotional space. So I shut down emotional and treated everyone like they just wanted to take a piece of me and did not want to add anything to my life.

This is the attitude I brought into my relationship with God. I could not understand why He loved a broken young lady like myself. The more I learned about the character and love of God the more I felt like I was not worthy of His love. See I came into my relationship with God broken from past hurts from people who said they cared about me and still hurt me directly or indirectly.

Due to the hurt I received from others I questioned God’s love for me in the past before I developed a personal relationship with Him. I felt bad for questioning Him and doubt Him in the past. But the more I learned about God, I learned, people may have hurt me but God has always loved me. He never stopped loving me and I thank Him for never taking His love away from me. I like what King David said in Psalm 27:10 “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.” So, people may have hurt me but God has always been there for me. Whether I knew it or not, His had of protection and love has always been on my life.

I do not want to dwelling on the people who have hurt me because their 15 minutes of fame are over in my life. I am no longer allowing them to determine how I deal with current or future relationships. I am concentrating on getting to know my family members, reconnecting with friends and they are getting to know the Ryane God predestined me to be. The Ryane who loves the Lord with everything she has in her. The Ryane who loves to go out and fellowship with her family and friends. The Ryane who is outgoing and dreams out loud. The Ryane who believes in herself because she knows “I can do all this through him who gives me strength” Philippians 4:13.

I am now reaping the harvest God promised me and taking back every relationship the devil thought he stole from me and it should be no surprise that I am rejoicing today because I am recovering it all. Thank you God!!!

See God said in Joel 2:25 “"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten”. He does not have too but I thank Him for being so gracious to my family and me.

Over the last three years I have been in a right relationship with my Heavenly Father, I have learned I am capable of showing love and receiving love. There will be some people who are not meant to be in my life, who mean me no good. I thank God for His gift of discernment!!! He allows me to see people for who they are so I do not waste my time on people who mean me no good.

So old ragged Joe does not even get the number anymore and the previous old ragged Joes do not get a call back, nor do I respond to texts or emails. God is replacing old ragged Joe with Faithfully _________, I do not know his name but I do know the next man I date will be my husband.

I have no time for old friends or wannabe friends who bring death and not life to me. The friendships God wants restore are being restored the ones He does not are not. And I am okay with it. If God said this is not the person you need to be friends with that is fine by me. Since He is the author and finisher of my life then He knew they meant me now good.

God has given me my trust back, I am now able to give people the benefit of the doubt because I still believe trust is earned and not freely given. I am grateful unto God for renewing our covenant relationship, renewing my relationship with my family, renewing my relationship with friends and for all the new relationships I will build in the future.

I thank Him!!!

I Mourn No More

It was 15 years ago today on a cold rainy December night that my sister Tracy who was nine months pregnant at the time was gunned down by our next door neighbor after an argument. The same neighbor also shot my mother, another sister and brother that night.
Tracy’s death was very hard for my too cope with. I would become suicidal, depression and destructive as a result of her death. Her death along with the death of my brother Ronnie would consume my life for over twelve years.

The road I will travel was a rocky one of disappoint, confusion, anger, bitterness, isolation, and rage. It was all directed at God. How could the loving God my mother and grandmothers told me about allow such a tragedy to occur to me and my family? Where was His compassion and love for us? Where was He and why if He was so powerful, mighty and knew everything did He allow this to happen to us? How could He allow this to happen to me? All these questions rested on my heart for nearly twelve years.

Over those twelve years after Tracy’s death I wander in and out of contact with God because I could not get Him to answer my questions of why this happen to me and my family. I knew God was real I just could not understand why He stopped caring about me and my family. As a result my relationship with God was a rocky and tumultuous one until one day back in August of 2005 when I answered His call in earnest.

It is three years later since I answered the call of God. The once rocky and tumultuous relationship is now a loving relationship. In my first year with God I learned, “In this world you will have trouble. John 16:33b" I also learned in that first year that I could “Cast all my anxiety on him because he cares for me. 1 Peter 5:7”

I learned the character of God and Jesus and more importantly I learned who Ryane was to God. It is so important for us to know who we are too God. We have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt the love God our Father has for His children. When I learned how very much my Heavenly Father loved me I was able “to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2b”

The more I learn and grow in God’s Word, the less I questioned Him “for His thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are my ways His ways. Isaiah 55:8" This is not too say that when things happen questions do not pop up in my head, they did, the difference is now the questions do not linger. I have come to the point in my relationship with God that I trust Him, so the questions I have maybe answered and they may not be answered but I trust God to working things out for me.

That is the difference in my remembrance of this day. The first thirteen was spent questioning God and mourning her; while the last two years has been spent celebrating her life and thanking God for her. The truth of the matter is God did not have to give us Tracy nor did He have to allow my mother, brother and other sister to survive the attack on my family. He could have taken them all that night but I thank Him for not doing so.
But I realize it is not easy to move on when you loss someone you love. It is one of the hardest things in the world to move on from. The death of a love one can break you it can cause you to question your very existing.

Naomi is a woman of the Old Testament. She lost her husband and two sons, Naomi was so destroyed by the deaths of her family members she told others to call her “Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me. Ruth 1:20-21" The name Mara means “bitter”. Naomi like myself was so focus on the lost and pain that we forgot God does not intention hurt us. He is not a God of malice intent. He is a God of loving and patience!!! We focused far to long on the mourn of our love ones that we could not celebrate their lives. I thank God for His patience with me over all those years.

Later on in Naomi life God give her a grandson name Obed who was the Father of King David of Israel. Like Naomi God is give me a beautiful great niece name Kelis and he is restoring my family even now. God promised to “repay me for the years the locusts have eaten. Joel 2:25” He does not have too but because He is a loving and giving Father He has given me and Naomi back some of what we lost.

So today I chose to celebrate the life my dear sister lived instead of mourning her. I am so grateful to God for giving me fifteen years with my loving big sister. While fifteen years does not seem like a long time, I believe it was enough time for us to express our love for one another. I can not tell you how to mourn your love ones but I ask you not to look at their deaths but to celebrate their lives. If we dwell on our love ones death we will never be able to celebrate their lives.

I love you Tracy!!!!

Please forgive any grammatical errors encountered in this piece. My editor is still on maternity leave with her beautiful baby boy.