Enough Is Enough

About five years ago I find myself at a place where I was just tired…I was tired of struggling day to day, just for the will to live another day. I was in search of something to hope me cope with the disappointments, trials and tribulation life had shown me. It was one morning after I had tried to drink away my problems that I was even tired of the drinking.

As I sat in my bedroom on that morning, I begin to talk to God. There was something telling me He had the answers to my questions and that He could help me. It was in this conversation of me telling God how tired I was of everything in my life: the pity parties, the drinking, the sex and etc., I asked Him to send me a pastor who would teach me His Word. See, I wanted to know God but so many churches I had been to where more concerning with teaching me to prosper my wallet rather then giving me what I need to prosper my soul. At this point in my life, my soul was completely destroyed and I knew no amount of money would heal my brokenness. I need someone to teach me the Word, so that I could see some light in this dark world that I felt enclosing on me.

After my graduation from college, I came home for a couple of days that Sunday I decided to go to church, unbeknownst to me God had answered my prayer. It was something totally different about that worship service then any other I had been too. I felt a peace while in this church and I actually felt the Word of God. I thought this was nice and left feeling a little better about things, when I return to North Carolina to start the second part of my life, I continue to get this feeling that I need to be home in Washington, DC. I did not know where this feeling was coming from but I knew it was saying come home. Being in the media field I knew coming home to DC would kill my career before it got started, DC being one of the top media markets in the country, but the feeling that I need to be home was to strong for me too ignore. It was February 2005 that I return home to DC. I would return to that church ever so often and walk out feeling much better than I did before I went in.

It was in August 2005 as I sat during my favorite pastime event of sitting on the couch flipping through channels, that I heard a voice saying come home. I tried to ignore it but it would not leave me alone. It continue to say come home. As I sat there thoughts of past hurts and painful experiences begin to flood my mind, I keep thinking, why is this stuff coming back to me. It was then I heard clearly “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”. You asked for a true man of God and I have sent you to one but you still hesitate. Ryane, it is time for you to come home to me. No more running and no more excuse. Now is the time.

That was almost five years ago that I heard God knocking on the doors of my heart and He has been with me everyday of this life since (Revelation 3:30).

As I did that day back in August of 2005, I heard God clearly say, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. It is time for you to stop running and face the fact you have been chosen and set apart for my good works. For years after answer the call of God, I struggled to accept that an awesome God, who is all powerful, all knowing and just great chose me to do His work through.

At this point in my walk with Christ I am struggling to accept the call and ministry He has prepared for me wholeheartedly. I tell Him I am surrender myself to Him totally but I never do. It is not that I do not want too. There is apart of me that is allowing fear to hinder me from saying, yes, Lord to Your will and to Your way. I allow distractions, some I create myself to get in the way but God is clearly telling me ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

And I totally agree with Him.