Why I Believe

I have never really felt the desire to validate my faith in God to anyone. I have never much cared to answer the critic who asked, “how can I believe in someone or something I have never seen.” So today in this edition of A Bab for Christ, I will not attempt to validate my faith but I would like to share my reasons for my faith in God.

I am reminded of Langston Hughes poem Mother to Son, the lines “Life for me ain't been no crystal stair. It's had tacks in it, And splinters, And boards torn up, And places with no carpet on the floor -- Bare. But all the time I'se been a-climbin' on, And reachin' landin's, And turnin' corners, And sometimes goin' in the dark Where there ain't been no light.” Well, this journey of faith God has called me to and my 30 years of existence has not been a crystal stair, it has indeed has some splinters, some bare days and I have seen my fair share of dark days, where it was hard for me to see the light.

In the midst of the heartache I suffered it was hard for me to look to God, as so many people told me too. Especially, after the day my sister was killed and my mom, brother and sister were shot. There was nothing in me that believed a loving God would allow something so terrible to happen to me and my family. I had all these questions and no answers from the God everyone kept telling me to turn too.

Then one day I was tired of the pity parties. I was tired of being tired. I was tired of not having anything to live for and not have anything to stand on. It was then in a small office on the campus of North Carolina Central University in the English Department as I sat amongst friends and classmates that I thought about the God my Grandmothers worshipped, the God my mother often called upon and the God my friends often talked about. It was in that office after months of struggling with my choice to abort my baby that I wanted to know if their God could help me. If He would give me the peace and joy that had eluded me for so many years of my life?

Let me explain, I knew of God, we even had causal conversation from time to time but I did not know Him like a child knows their father. You see to know God is to know His Word and I had no clue about His Word. I did not know I could find strength in His Word. I was always told to trust Him and He would work it out but no one really give me scriptures to support what they were saying. It was not until I answered the call of God that I started to understand what Jesus said in John 16:33b, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. ” I did not know His said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthian 12:9)"

These were among the very first verse of His Word that God had me committed to memory and to my spirit. I recall early on in this journey with God I would ask Him to hold me because I heard and read He was a comforter. It would be in those times I would have the most peaceful rest I ever had. God would and still does provided me with a scripture for particular situation in my life. He also gives me songs that speak to me and encourage me to continue on. I know Mary Mary songs “Yesterday” and “Can’t Give Up Now” helped me through the first two years of my journey with God.

I like the Samaritan woman at the well in the book of John, met a man (Jesus) who told me all about myself. He not only told me about the hurt I had experienced in my life. But He told me about the future I could and would have with Him as my Lord and Savior. He said He could and would exchange my hurt for love, my pain for peace, my weeping with dancing, my tears with joy and my bitterness for hope.

Jesus told me in Matthew 11: 28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Yes, I can testify, His yoke is easy and His burden is indeed light. The problems of life have not ceased in my life, the way I deal with them has. That is too trust God with everything concerning me.

The reason I believe in God is simple, “I love Him because He first loved me. paraphrase (1 John 4:19)” It is in His love and Word that I have found myself and my purpose for this life I have. I believe because He thought about my when He sent His son to die on the cross for my sins. I believe because in August 2005 I went before Him broken and hopeless. But to God be the Glory in February 2009 I no longer see myself as damaged goods. I see myself as God sees me, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) that is why I know His works are wonderful because I am His works.

I believe because I see the difference God has made in my life.