Troubled In The Lord's House

Since I have been a combination of busy, lazy and the constant procastinator, I really do not have anything to write this week. So, I would like to share an except from my forthcoming book From the Gutters to A Mansion: My Journey to My Heavenly Father.

The excerpt is from chapter 9 of the book entitled Troubled in the Lord's House. Enjoy!!!

But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.(Isaiah 40:31)


When I made the choice to give my life to Christ I thought I would not have to experience any more pain or hardships. I thought once I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I would be instantly delivered from every problem and sin in my life. All the pain and drama were now gone. I was right in a way, He did spare me from some situations but He also allowed me to going through some situations. In the months following my decision to follow God where He was leading me on this journey called life. I started to experience some trouble times with my job and with my lustful ways.

I had to deal with lusting after other women’s husbands and my sexually desires which at times seem to consume me. At times it seem like I could not or would not be delivered from this infirmity of fornication. I was praying and seeking God but it just was not happening in the time I wanted it too. I am a microwave baby and I need everything to happen right now. What I had to learn was God did not work on my schedule. However, I knew I should continue to ask and seek Him for help and deliverance. I decide that He was the only One who could help me. He knew what was going on and the battle I was faced with wanting to do the right thing and live according to His will for me. I remember a conversation I had with my Pastor about wanting to do what was right before God but was still falling short because of the sin in my life. He directed me to the book of Roman’s were the Apostle Paul says, “So I find this law at work; When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. As I read this I thought this was exactly what I was feeling. In my heart and soul I wanted to do what God wanting all of chosen children to do and be obedient to Him. While I was in the book of Romans I was led to another scripture, I believe this scripture was to counter the other one. Romans 8: 28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” So I decided to lean on Him.

While I was trying to purge myself of my lustful ways and stay away from the married men I received a phone called at work from my mother’s co- worker tell me she had fainted and was being admitted to the hospital. She also said that they thought she had a stroke. As a listen to her I thought God no, please God don’t let this happen to my mother. My co-worker drive me to the hospital and on the way up there I just thought why now God. My co-worker who had just recently lost her mother tried to offer words of encouragement but I was half listening to her as we made our way through afternoon traffic in downtown DC on our way to GW Hospital where my mother worked and now was a patient. My mind was on my mother and what state I would see her in when I went into the hospital room. When I got there she was still in the triage area, undergoing test. So I sat there and called my brothers and sisters to tell them our mother was in the hospital and the little that I knew about her condition. About an hour or so later my younger brother Kevin and his girlfriend would join me in the waiting area. As I sat there I asked God to heal her. I told Him I would trust Him for her healing or whatever He had in store for her. I just asked that He would be with her. The preliminary test results showed that she had a slight stroke but the doctor wanted to keep her for a couple of days and run some more test. It was in the additional test that God revealed to the doctors my mom had a brain aneurysm. I say God revealed it to them because on the day my mom was supposed to be released from the hospital the doctor decided to run one more test and it was the one more test that revealed the brain aneurysm. For me I know that was nothing but God at work. My mom could have walked at of that hospital unaware she had a fatal illness that could possible kill her if untreated. So, I knew my God was at work during this situation.

When my mother told me about the aneurysm and how she found out, all I could say was thank you Jesus. Thank you for not allowing her to walk out of that hospital. Thank you Father!!! We now knew the problem and what she faced. So, when it was time for alter call I went up and prayed to God about my mother’s health situation and I gave it to the Lord in faith knowing His perfect Will would be done in her life. We prayed through every stage of her ordeal. We sought God first and were patient. It was a scary situation with an illness that can kill you but God answered our prayers and my mom had a successful surgery in February of 2006 and is doing just fine. I trusted in Him to work it out for her good and He did.

Good Bless you all,
Ryane