Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Father’s Gifts

As a child of God each of us are given gifts from Him at the time we accept His Son as our Lord and Savior. There are “gifts of the spirit” (1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12 & Ephesians 4) these are the gifts God gives to each believer for the building of His kingdom.

One of the bible study classes my church has given in the past was on spiritual gifts, in the class we all took a spiritual gift survey to determine what our gifts maybe. From the spiritual gifts survey, I learned my gifts are maybe faith, knowledge, prophecy, exhortation and pastor. So, I begin to pray God will reveal to me which gift (s) He has given me and to start manifesting them in my life. You know that old saying, “be careful what you pray for, you might just get it.” Yes, I am here to tell you, if you did not know already it is so true.

God has started to manifest the gift of prophecy in me. What is the gift of prophecy? The website http://www.participatorystudyseries.com/prophecy.shtml says the following about prophecy: “Prophecy is speaking the word or message of God for a particular circumstance or time. In Biblical times prophets foretold the future, condemned unrighteous acts, gave encouragement, recommended courses of action to rulers or to priests and warned of judgment. Only a small portion of the work of a prophet involves predicting the future, and even the predictions are designed either to teach or to correct.” The Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 14:39 “to be eager to prophecy.”

I would have been eager to prophecy before my cousin went into the hospital to have a lung transplant which was March 16, 2009. This is when God started to manifested the gift of prophecy in me. He showed me my cousin’s death and said prepare myself but how does one begin to prepare themselves for something like this. I was also to prepare my family but again, how do I prepare them for something like this. As I sat in the hospital with my family, I remember Hezekiah prayer for God to extend his years, so I begin to pray God would extend my cousin’s years but He continued to say prepare them but I did not want to do it. So, I thought I could change His mind. It was not until the day before she died that I changed my prayers and begin to pray what God had instructed me to pray. I believe my cousin also had the gift of prophecy because she told me two years ago that are family would be restored in her death. She said, “I am willing to be that sacrifice for the family.” I now believe the morning she called to tell me about her lung transplant that she knew God was calling her home. When I talk to her that morning it was a little anxiousness in her voice but there was also peace.

The same week we were making funeral arrangement for my cousin, again, I heard “prepare yourself.” My first thought was oh no, God, no. I knew it was my Grandma this time and as God told me He was taking her home with Him, I cried and I cried. If foreseeing the death of my love ones was a part of this gift of prophecy I did not want any parts of it. I told God He could have His gift back but I knew in my heart and soul I had to accept it. So, when my dad called Thursday April 9, 2009, I was not surprised but I was still hurt and saddened by her depart from this life. My cousin and Associate Pastor pointed something out to me about both of there deaths. My cousin was 33 years old at the time of her death and Jesus was 33 when He left this earth to be with the Father. My Grandma left this earth during Holy Week, on the day of Passover. You know the day Jesus prepared His first disciples for what was about to happen to Him. I thank God because He is so good, He does not have to explain stuff to us but He does, even now as I write this I am getting revelations from the Father. As Jesus prepared His disciples for what was about to happen to Him, I was suppose to prepare my family for what was about to happen to us but in pure disobedience and out of selfishness I did not do this until it was too late. I had to deal with it and ask for forgiveness from the Father then forgive myself and look towards the other things God will show me to encourage, uplift, comfort and help my family, friends and neighbors.

I mention before on the blog about a 2:49 a.m. wake up call from God. In which the Father told me He loved me and not to worry about anything, that He was working everything out for me. Then I told you all about the vision I had of running up some stairs to get to the platform because I had some stuff in my mouth and when I open my mouth to spat the contents out it was diamonds and pearls. I believe the diamonds and pearls, are being able to witness and let the glory of my Heavenly Father shine in my life. I also, believe God was given me a sign that all this would occur and that I would have the opportunity to minister to my family. I now know that God is working other avenues for me to be a light and witness to my family, friends and neighbors (neighbors being anyone who pass my way).

While God is still teaching me to operate in this gift and others, I have accepted that I am by birth right a gifted young lady for the Father. So, He can use me to do His good and perfect will. In the future when I have another opportunity to go and say what thus said the Lord, I will gladly do so. As the Lord told Moses, I will tell them, 'I AM has sent me to you. Exodus 3:14)'

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I Believe God

There is a song I like by Kurt Carr called I Believe God. The song says, My faith is strong and anchor, my faith can not be wavered…I believe God, He is invisible…sometimes my faith is tested on this shake road…I believe God…I have seen to many miracles hidden inside my pain…I believe God. The start of 2009 has not been an easy one for me or my family. For all of January and most of February I was sick with walking pneumonia then food poison. Yea, it was not a happy time for me but the love of God and family members keep my spirits up.

Then my cousin learned she had received a lung, so for two weeks, we as a family sit in the waiting area of University of Maryland Hospital @ Baltimore, praying and waiting on Tonya to open her eyes. She never did open her eyes on this side but I believe she is amazed at things Jesus is showing her as she moved from temporary to everlasting. My beautiful cousin took her last breathe on this earth the morning of Friday March 27, 2009. As we meet as a family that morning in the hospital waiting room to decide to take her off the machines, I know the thought running through most of our minds probably was “we have her life in our hands.” I now know we never had that choice but God did because the moment they took her off the machines, I believe she took the hand of her Savior Jesus Christ and did not look back. I believe in those last days of Tonya’s life, she was talking to her Master, and He was telling her it is going to be okay. I will take good care of your family please do not worry about them. I believe Tonya on that Friday morning turned to God give Him her hand because she believe He would take care of her husband, her children, her mother, sister and the rest of her family. So, she let go and let God have His way.

Almost a week after burying my beautiful cousin, I got a call at work from my dad saying, my Grandma had died. I felt like someone had just kicked me in the gut with a steel toe boot. I could not believe it. Most of that day was filled with tears and regret. I think most of my tears came from regret for not coming around or calling her more, especially after finding out she had breast cancer. I keep saying I was going to call or go see her but got caught up with my own life that I always forgot to make that telephone call. I know it is not a time for regret but sometime you have to look at the missed opportunities in your life to learn from them and spending more time with my family, both sides of my family is something I know I need to do.
My Grandma Bea was beautiful in everyway, she would just smile and you would have no other choice but to smile back at her. I remember when I used to call her should would always ask if it was me or my sister. I can hear her laugh and hear her saying “uh huh.” She never said, “you should call me more.” She always talked to you like you called her everyday. My beautiful and beloved Grandma went quietly with her Master and I know her and Tonya are up there wondering why we are crying. After all they have seen His face, He has taken away all their pain away and He has given them the keys to their mansions. Grandma, knowing her probably has plants everyone by now and Tonya probably trying to beautify everyone up there.

As I write this I am laughing at the thought of my two beautiful angels in their heavenly mansions. While my heart still hurts, I can not help but believe God does everything for a reason. I can not help but believe out of our pain God is working His plan to bring more unity to our family, a family that will pray together, a family that will worship Him together and a family that will be better than we were before. In this painful season of life I see the beauty of God at work. I see Him bring my family back together. I see Him saving souls…I see Him not just restoring us but making us better than what we were before.

So, yes, I believe God. I believe there is purpose in my pain. I believe there are miracles hidden in my pain. I believe God because He said, “I will never leave you, nor will I forsake you.” I believe God because He first loved me and He gave His only Son so I would be reconciled back to Him that I would have eternal life with Him. I believe God because I have seen His work. I believe God because I am His work. He is my rock…He is my strength, He is my lily in the field, He is my joy, He is my peace, He is my counselor, He is my Comforter, He is my Help, He is just an Awesome Father.

I rejoice in the pain because I know weeping endures for a night but joy comes in the morning and this joy I have the world did not give to me and the world can not take it from me.

I BELIEVE GOD!!!