Mind Games

I would like to continue to share with you about my Thursday morning crying-out session with God. During my crying-out session I found my thoughts drifting to a place that I used to go when life’s pressure seem too much for me to bear. My mind went to a place I used to go when things felled completely apart. Suicide!

As the thought came to my conscience mind; it came with the thoughts “nothing in your life is going right anyway, why, continue on. Why, continue serving a God who is not answering you? Why, continue to try to be faithful and obedient to a God, who is making you suffer? You have been praying for almost five years for God to change things and work things out for you. What has He done for you but tell you to wait and trust Him? How long are you suppose to wait for Him?

I remember what 1 Peter 5:8, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” I remembered the devil’s mission in John 10:10a, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.”

It was then that my thoughts went to what David said, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” I begin to quote Numbers 23:19, “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” I changed my thoughts from despairing thoughts to thoughts of hope as I remembered the goodness of the LORD. It was God who promised me and my cousin Tonya (God rest her soul) a restored, saved and joyous family. I have seen in the past 18 months my family come together more and more in fellowship and love. This August we will take a family trip together the first one ever, in which over 90 percent of the family will be in attendance. I count that a blessings from God. I told myself, just because things are not happening the way I want them too does not mean God is not working to fulfill His promises. For He told Isaiah, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways… so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

I lifted up my head, wiped my eyes and continue to encourage myself in the LORD. “This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army (problems, trials and situations). For the battle is not yours, but God's.”

I know during trying times we can be tempted to go back to our old habits of coping or dealing with the trials of life, suicide which is permanent is not the answer (it does not hurt you but those you love and is one of the most selfish acts a person can commit). Then there is trying to drink your problem away, sex it away (if you are not married), drug it away or whatever temporary fix that does not lead to God’s way of dealing with the situations in your life. When life comes at you hard and fast as it will sometimes, you have to “lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth” and trust God to bring you out.

Two scriptures that I always help me when the mind attacks come are Hebrews 13:5b, “God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’.” The other is Numbers 23:19, “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” I also look to back over past victories God has won for me, which also reassures me He is going to come through on my behalf again.

So, no matter what problems you are facing rest assure God is working behind the scenes to bring you out in total victory. Do not give up just keep on trusting Him for He is able to make the impossible possible for you. He knows the plans He has for you, plans to prosper and not to harm.
Be blessed and know God is able!!!