Letting Go and Letting God have His Way

There are two bible studies I am undertaking right now, the first being one I started later in the summer about the suffering of Job. The other is one of the bible study class I am taking Journey into Overcoming, both dealing with suffering, trials and tribulation in life. Many of you who read this blog on a regular basis do not have to be reminded of the many situations and adversities I have faced in this life. I have seen death, sickness, depression and so forth. What I have gathered from Ray Steadman’s Suffering of Job and the first lesson in Journey to Overcoming is trials, suffering and tribulations all come to bring us closer to God plan for our lives.

As I look back on my life, especially the difficult times of my life, I can see the hand of God all over my life. I can see how He tried to redirect my steps in some situations and why He allowed others to occur. I am not saying I know why everything good, bad or indifferent occurred in my life because I do not understand it all. What I do understand is the love of God and how that has greatly impacted my life. There have been many trials in 2009 for me but there have also been many victories. I now can discern the voice of God clearly. I can hear Him speaking to me and leading me on the path He purposed and ordained for my life. I know for sure the gifts He has placed with in me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He indeed loves me.

In this season of loses and gains for me, I have found myself wrestling with God and the call He has on my life. I sometimes find myself trying to ignore Him or making up excuses for not doing the things He has called me to do. Yes, I have been disobedient to the Father. Some of my disobediences is due to fear and the rest is my uncertainty or at least that is what I tell myself. The fear part is real the uncertainty I am not so sure about. I know God has called me and purpose me because He has purposed each one of His children that He has called out of the darkness into His marvelous light. As He told Jeremiah, I know the plans I have for you.

I know the Father has a plan for my life, I am at a place where I am fighting His will for my life and I truly want to walk in that will but I do not know how to stop fighting Him. My desire is to be in His perfect will for my life…to lose myself totally and completely in Him and the plans He has already set in place for me. I just have not learned how to let go and let God have His way. I spend so much time telling Him what I want and how I would like things to be that I miss a lot of what He has to say to me. I spend so much time thinking about the way my life should be that I miss out on much of what He says my life will be like. I know two of my gifts are prophecy and exhortation. I know for sure the talent He has given me is writing. I also know that He wants to use me for other things but I am so afraid of leaving folks behind, moving to another level which would mean leaving people behind and letting someone have full control of my life, even though I know God will never do anything to hurt me.

So my prayer for myself and the one I am asking you all to pray for me is that I let go of fear and I totally let go and let God have His way and that His prefect will be done in my life.