I Give Up

Today makes the first day of the Lenten Season for many Christians across the world. The first day of Lent is Ash Wednesday. A day in which ashes that were blessed from the previous year on Palm Sunday are burnt and placed on the foreheads of believers. The ashes are placed on the forehead in the shape of a cross. Ash Wednesday/Lenten season is a time of reflects for many Christian, including myself.

This Ash Wednesday I find myself reflecting on the promises God has made me over the years. I find myself looking in the mirror of my soul/spirit with some very critical questions for myself. There is one question I keep asking myself. Why do you keep allowing fear to consume you?

On Ash Wednesday many Christians begin to fast from food or they give up something that takes their time away from God. For me today starts the first day of giving up the spirits of my will, fear, procrastinates, and low self/spiritual worth (not feeling like I am worthy of God blessing me the way He has in mind to do) . I am starting today, by encouraging myself in the LORD. In the Word of God, He tells me, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.” (Psalm 139:14, NIV) I am taking the necessary steps to rid myself of these spirits, so that I can live the life God has pre-planned for me. What are those steps?

First, I plan to look over the 10 year life plan God gave me in November of 2010 and pick those things I can do now that will lead me to the blessings in my career, life and ministry. Secondly, I will stop denying who God has said I am and called me to be. Finally, I will just trust and obey, there is no other way for me to rid myself of these spirits and hindrances but to just trust and obey God’s instructions in my life.

I desire, want and need a closer walk with the LORD! I know to get it I must give up those things that are hindering me from drawing closer to Him. So, during this Lenten season and for the rest of this earthly life, I plan to trust and obey the direction/plan God has for me. It was God who told the Prophet Jeremiah, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jeremiah 29:11, KJV) I desire/want/need what it is God has for me. With that Ryane has to die daily that Christ may live in me and that I may experience Him on an even greater level.

During this Lenten Season, what do you plan to give up (for good) so that you may draw closer to the LORD?

May the peace and blessings of our Savior/God rest with each one of you!!!

http://youtu.be/tJznj1a8I1w

Reflections

As the hours are running out on 2010, I find myself reflecting on all 2010 has meant, for me the first 8 months of 2010 was stagnant, unproductive, undisciplined and lacking in self-control. It was in the first 8 months that I could not believe I was still going through such tough losses, while still trusting in God. While still doing some of the work God has prepared for me to do. I could not believe my life had not turned the corner at that point. Why was God not moving in my life and turning things around for me? Why was He still giving me things to do and encouraging me to fulfill my God given purpose but was not answering my prayers for relief from my situations? So, I just did enough the first 8 months of 2010 to say I did something. Honestly, I did not put my best foot forward I just put a foot forward and said, “I did it.”

Then one day as I sat on the beach in Virginia Beach in August, things changed from that day. I had a totally awesome experience with God that propelled me to stop just existing but to start living again. God told me I was in a season of loss. My mind went to something my Associate Pastor asked me two years ago, Was God the joy of my strength.” To which I said, “Yes.” That meant to me, even in this season of loss, He was still the joy of my strength. This was the beginning of 2010 turning around for me. It was the beginning of my journey to rediscovery. I need to rediscovery the God, who found me in my loss state and clean me up. I need to rediscover the unique things God has disposed into me that make me Ryane Belynda Nickens. For that I went on a road trip for six week, visiting friends and each friend held a key to unlock the part of me I had locked up. It started in Chicago and brought me back to Washington, DC, renewal, revived and even the more determined to fulfill God’s plan for me life.

So, 2010 for me was a season of loss but in my losses I found Ryane Belynda Nickens again. As I head into 2011, I know God has a plan to prosper me. Today, Isaiah 43:16-18-19, spoke to the very way I was feeling about entering 2011. It reads, “This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” For I know the LORD is doing a new thing with me. I know He is preparing me to enter into another season and to experience Him at another level. So, as I take the lessons learned in 2010 with me into 2011, I go thanking God for being true to His Word and not leaving me or forsaking me. Even when I wanted Him too! I thank Him for always loving me, protecting me, guiding me and I know it will continue in 2011.

I pray God will reveal Himself to you in an awesome and magnificent way in 2011. Be safe and Happy New Year!!! May it be filled with God’s glorious presence and His awesome blessings!!!

Unfamiliar Ground

“One of the things that attracted me to Yvette was the way she was not afraid to praise God,” my cousin’s husband shared this with my two Christmas ago. That same Christmas he gave me a book by T.D. Jakes entitled Promises from God for Single Women. Admittedly, I have only open the book sporadically over the last two years but I opened it last night to the first page of the relationship section and found some useful words there.

See God knows what you need to hear and when you need to hear it. He has many modes to get it too you but the spirit has got to be willing to accept correction, rebuke and discipline from the LORD, because it is always given in love. He knows that I am struggling with an issue about a certain relationship at this point in my life.

Last night as I read the first sentence which states, “Do you need to have it your way, or no way?” The answer is heck yeah! For so many years I controlled and set the ground rules for all my relationships with men. I decided how far things would go and I decided when it would end with no warning to them. I had no problem walking away from them and the situation. But there have been two men in my life that I have not been able to just walk away from. One I knew since I was a teenager. The love I shared with him was special and unique. He was the first man to break through the cold and closed heart I once had. He was completely honest with me and always called me on my mess. I loved him for that and it was one of the reasons I had fallen in love with him. He told me the things I need to hear and not what I wanted to hear. I was prepared to deal with and face many things with him but he was killed in March of 2004.

In May of 2007 the second man would enter my life and here is where my struggle lies. Maybe, I need to disclose some things about myself before I get into the second man and the struggles and ultimate what I heard God speaking into my heart last night.

I am a daddy’s girl! There is absolutely nothing my dad would not do for me or my siblings. He has been my prince charming for the last 31 years of my life and treated me like a princess. The other men in my life such as my Granddad James and my brothers (especially my eldest brother) have always been there to provide for me. I never had to want for much of anything the last 31 years of my life. If I can be perfectly honest even the women in my life have spoiled me (my mom and cousin). I have always been given their time, attention, love, and material things. Thus I am a spoiled brat, yes, at 31 years of age, I am still spoiled rotten. I still believe things should go my way and people should be there when I want them too. Which is one of the problems I have with man two, he is not always there when I want him to be. Something I am totally not use too at all.

I went into this not expected much from man two but the normal things that are a given, to be respected and treated well. Which he did without a problem? He was many things I wanted in a man and still is. In the early portion of the getting to know you game, I was still dating around. I was in my twenties and not looking for a husband. I was also in my second year of my journey with God. As I think back to the earlier dates we had, one thing that impressed me about him was that he would pray for both of us before each meal. Which had never happen to me on a date before, which I thought was refreshing?

As I enter year five on this journey with God, I have learned He has away of getting you to face your past so that you can move into your future. In past dealings with men I could walk away with no problems. But with man two, I have been unable to completely breakaway from him. It is not due too lack of trying. Over the last three years I have walked away from months at a time only to find myself drawing back to him for some reasons or another. I have inquired of the LORD many times why can’t I just walk away from this man once and for all. I thought two Thursday ago I would just leave this thing alone and even went as far as to say, I heard God telling me to walk away from the situation. I can sometimes hear what I want to hear when I do not want to deal with things. I was all set to delete his number from my phone, delete his email address from my contact list and delete him from my facebook friends list that Friday, as I was praying about something else, I did hear God emphatically telling me not to delete any of the information. Clear as day, I heard, “how many times have you deleted his information only to put it back. Leave it there is what I heard.”

I hate to admit this but a conversation I had with one of my friends/Sister in Christ about man two came to my remembrance. She told me it was time to be a big grown woman and face this thing head on, allowing God to handle the situation and letting His perfect will be done. With all my craziness and me attitude, I know what God has for me is just for me. That includes the man He has just for me. I do not have to master mind anything or demand anything from a person. God will indeed work this thing out and if me and man two are meant to just be friends, being in a committed relationship, or be nothing to each other I am ready to accepted the lessons and experience God wants me to face in this situation because I know I will be better for having gone through it.

God reminding me last night through His Word in Amos 3:3, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? The rest of what T.D. Jakes wrote was this, “How can you have a healthy relationship when you want to call all the shots? Listen to me-it is vital that you are clear about one very important ingredient in a relationship: both of you must be focused on the Lord first in order to make it work. Agree to make the Lord your destination and you’ll find you are walking in the same direction.”

In my many conversations with God, I have said to Him, the man I will be with is the one He handpicked for me. I do not know at this point if man two has been handpicked by God for me because in my hard-headness and stubbornness I never really waited for God to answer. I talked at God about man two never really wanting to hear His response. I do know what I asked God for in a husband and the one thing that is non-negotiable is this, he has to be a man of God, who is submitting his life to God daily. This is a must for me and I am willing and will wait for God to send that man. I might not like the wait time but wait I will.

I am now ready to listen knowing Jesus is the foundation of every healthy relationship. Lead me, guide me along this journey, if you wont lead me I wont go.

The Greatest Love Story Every Told

The last couple of weeks in various forms I have been receiving scriptures dealing with love. As I sat in Bible Study last night today’s blog post came to me. So, I would like to share with you all the greatest love story every told. The story has been told for many centuries and in many different languages. Yes, this story is universal. Some believe it the first time and others like me it takes a minutes to get it. The story is very long and it spans many lifetimes but it is well worth reading. I will give you the short version.

It started ions ago with a man, His Son and His Comforter. The man was very powerful and had access to the whole world. He was a creative Man and like to make things. He was what we would call today a move and a shaker. One day He was sitting with His Son and decided to make something so wonderful and beautiful, no one would every forget it. In the course of days the Man and His Son created many beautiful things and as they set back and looked at everything they created and decided to share it with others. The Man and His Son decided to allow this couple to live in what they had created. The couple seemed to be very pleased. The Man share with the couple some rules and regulations of being in this gorgeous place the Man had created.

If you are a fan of romantic comedies like me, you know earlier on something is going to happen that will separate the main characters and then someone or something else would take place to bring the main characters back together. In the greatest love story every told the same thing happens. The couple does not follow the Man’s rules and regulations, so the man is forced to evict them. There is an but here, the Man loved this couple a lot, so He did not want to see them out on the streets. He provided less gorgeous accommodations for the couple.

So for years the Man had tried to mend His relationship with the couple and their descendants to no avail. It would be times when they were in trouble and He would help them out of their situations, they would seek His guidance for a while before turning on Him. See, the Man was very wise and know things know one else know. The Man of the course of time continued to try and reach them. When they would ask Him to do things, He would give them their request. He was always there for them, just a second away each and every time they needed Him.

The story says, He longed for the relationship He had with their parents before the broke His rules. He had done almost everything to try and repair the relationship. So, the Man decided to send His Son to the people. His Son was very successful in talking with the descendants of the couple. We all know there is always a villain trying to mess everything up, the villain so the Son was able to reach the people, so he decided to put a stop to the Son. The villain thought he had stop the Son but he was setting the Son up to bring true reconciliation between the people and His Father. The villain had the Son falsely arrested, beating, mistreated by the prison guards and ultimately the Son would be killed. It does not end there thank God!

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.
There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me." Matthew 28: 1-10

The Man (God) sent his only begotten Son as an atoning sacrifice for us all that we would be back to that perfect relationship we had with Him in the beginning. So, my family and friends “be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin[a] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5: 21

The Bible is the greatest love story we can every read. God loves us so much and wants to be in a relationship with us. He does not want us to be perfect because He know we will make mistakes hence repentance but what He does desire is a personal relationship with us.

I thank JESUS for taking all my sin on Him at the cross. I personal do not think I could handle it. I thank Him for bridging the gap between God the Father and me. If what Jesus did on the cross was not love I sure would like to know what love does.

He Found Me

One of my facebook friends posted a status this morning asking, “Was God ever really lost.” In response too so many people saying they find Him. In the book of Revelation, Jesus says, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”

With that scripture in mind I do not believe God was ever lost but that we were lost. In His infinite love for us God sought us out so that we could be reconciled back to Him. The evidence of His love for us is so clear in the life, death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Looking back over my life and when I heard the Lord knocking on the doors of my heart back in 2004, I begin to think about a better life, one free from the pain and anger that was so apparent in my life since I was 15 years old. So many people had come in my life from that point, who talked about the goodness of the Lord. I never really thought a good God would allow me to go through so much heartache and pain. I held on to a lingering notion that God really could not love me or mean me any good with all life had shown me at such an early age. So for years I went through life feeling a hurt and void no one could fill. Until one day back in 2004 I noticed a yearning in me to be truly free from hurt and pain. Thinking back I now know it was God gently leading me to Him.

See in the midst of my pain and hurt God begin to reveal Himself to me. He begin to tell me drinking, sex and all the other ways I was self-medicating to deal with the pain was truly not the answer to dealing with my pain. He told me, “II have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” When I wrapped my mind around the fact God said there will be trouble in my life but that He had dealt with it, my heart begin to open to Him more. In August of 2005, I heard the LORD clearly saying now is the time for you to come on this journey with me and I will heal your broke heart and every broke thing in your life.

As I enter year five of my journey with God, I am so glad He found me. I am so overjoyed that I continue each day to discovery her mercy, grace and joy each day. I know and believe that “surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever!

Thank you God for finding me and loving me enough to come looking for me even when I was not looking for you! Thank you for being the light of my salvation and my bright and morning star, the joy of my strength I have find in You and Your Word. I am so much better since you find me and delivered me from my pit.

When You’re Hurt

Have you ever been at the place where everything seems to be falling apart? I find myself in that place back in June 2009 and I reached out to someone in my Christian circle of people I believe are mature in Christ. As I wrote in an email all the things I had been going through since January of 2009, the death of family members, experiencing God more than I had in the past, and feeling like I was losing my mind I asked/sought spiritual advice that never came. In the book of James 5: 14 says, “Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.” At that time I felt like I was sick spiritual and I called on an elder of the church, with no response. This really hurt me beyond what I original thought it did. I find myself dismissal of this person I sought for advice to the point where what they say means nothing to me at times.

I believe I am hurt because I expect too much for this person and not enough from God. As I write this I know God is the only One who can answer all my questions. The only One who can help me make sense of what the last year of my life was all about. Knowing this does not totally eliminate the hurt I experience by seeking help from someone I trusted and for me to trust anyone is not the easiest thing for me to do, I was asking this person for spiritual advice. There were days where I thought about walking away from my relationship with God because of the hurt and pain I was feeling not only due to this situation but all the pain and unanswered questions I faced in 2009. Every time the thought to walk away from God came to me, He placed Psalm 139 in my spirit. Being the great Father God is He gave me the strength to endure and that is why I can move forward from this situation and all situations. I know the LORD will always be there for me, He will always be my strength. My Associate Pastor asked me one was God the joy of my strength I can confident say, yes, He is the joy of my strength because we I was utterly cast down He pick me up. When I felt alone He was there to make me feel like someone was there with me. When I do not understand many situations He assured me one day I would know the reasons.

That is why I must let go of the hurt feelings because in the end it is only hurting me. It is hindering me from moving forward in what I must do. So, with a forgiving hurt I am let it go. This one situation will not stop me from seeking spiritual advice from others nor will it hinder me from being all God has called me to be. I will recovery from someone disappointing me, what I can not do is continue to hold on to this hurt and disappoint.

Letting Go and Letting God have His Way

There are two bible studies I am undertaking right now, the first being one I started later in the summer about the suffering of Job. The other is one of the bible study class I am taking Journey into Overcoming, both dealing with suffering, trials and tribulation in life. Many of you who read this blog on a regular basis do not have to be reminded of the many situations and adversities I have faced in this life. I have seen death, sickness, depression and so forth. What I have gathered from Ray Steadman’s Suffering of Job and the first lesson in Journey to Overcoming is trials, suffering and tribulations all come to bring us closer to God plan for our lives.

As I look back on my life, especially the difficult times of my life, I can see the hand of God all over my life. I can see how He tried to redirect my steps in some situations and why He allowed others to occur. I am not saying I know why everything good, bad or indifferent occurred in my life because I do not understand it all. What I do understand is the love of God and how that has greatly impacted my life. There have been many trials in 2009 for me but there have also been many victories. I now can discern the voice of God clearly. I can hear Him speaking to me and leading me on the path He purposed and ordained for my life. I know for sure the gifts He has placed with in me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He indeed loves me.

In this season of loses and gains for me, I have found myself wrestling with God and the call He has on my life. I sometimes find myself trying to ignore Him or making up excuses for not doing the things He has called me to do. Yes, I have been disobedient to the Father. Some of my disobediences is due to fear and the rest is my uncertainty or at least that is what I tell myself. The fear part is real the uncertainty I am not so sure about. I know God has called me and purpose me because He has purposed each one of His children that He has called out of the darkness into His marvelous light. As He told Jeremiah, I know the plans I have for you.

I know the Father has a plan for my life, I am at a place where I am fighting His will for my life and I truly want to walk in that will but I do not know how to stop fighting Him. My desire is to be in His perfect will for my life…to lose myself totally and completely in Him and the plans He has already set in place for me. I just have not learned how to let go and let God have His way. I spend so much time telling Him what I want and how I would like things to be that I miss a lot of what He has to say to me. I spend so much time thinking about the way my life should be that I miss out on much of what He says my life will be like. I know two of my gifts are prophecy and exhortation. I know for sure the talent He has given me is writing. I also know that He wants to use me for other things but I am so afraid of leaving folks behind, moving to another level which would mean leaving people behind and letting someone have full control of my life, even though I know God will never do anything to hurt me.

So my prayer for myself and the one I am asking you all to pray for me is that I let go of fear and I totally let go and let God have His way and that His prefect will be done in my life.

There Is Purpose In My Pain

This morning as I made my way to church, I sat at the bus stop waiting on the bus reading T.D. Jakes book Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits. When I just happen to look up at the cloudy gray skies to see one specific area of the sky where there was a bright light shining forth. I continued to stare over my right shoulder at the bright spot in the cloudy gray skies this morning when I remembered though dark days come there is a brighter day ahead when you trust in Christ Jesus and are lead by Him. As I continued to watch the beautiful light in the cloudy gray skies be covered by the dark clouds, it seemed like the beautiful lite cloud would force its way back to the forefront. It appeared to me a determining in the cloud not to be hidden by the darker clouds, although the darker clouds surround it on every side.

My mind went to the current trials I am now facing and the trials I faced in the pasted. Then my mind went to one of my favorite bible heros King David. Who knew trials and adversity all too well! He faced many in his lifetime. Many of the trials King David faced were because of the anointing on his life. The purpose God had called him too, it was nothing David asked for, it was simply his God given purpose for being here. For many who know King David’s story, it is written in history he was a man after God’s own heart. As a shepherd boy David was anointed by Prophet Samuel to one day be King of Israel. As a result of his anointing and God given call there were numerous attempts on David’s life. Trouble just seemed to find David, who just wanted to be obedient to God. He did nothing but answer the call of God on his life. Most of the trouble occurred before David was ever placed as King over Israel.

I have heard many preachers say what I am about to write but I never really given full consideration to it until now. I am suffering because of the call and the anointing on my life. If I look at my life, not just this year even though this year seems like a lifetime of troubles, my life from the time of my birth, which my mother told me recently I almost dead because I was choking on something when I came out of the womb. Being reared in neighborhoods were shootings were as common place as fireworks on the 4th of July. Dealing with the deaths of my siblings, uncle and many friends who died violently on the streets of D.C.; then having to deal with my own personal demons of being suicidal, abuse of alcohol and the misuse of my body to try and numb the pain. Then trying to rationale in my mind how I could be so strong in my stance against abortions only to be faced with the option myself as a senior in college with my whole life ahead of me and to have to deal with the affects of having an abortion.

It amazes me sometimes that I am still alive. It truly does! I know God has spared me for a reason. As He told the prophet Jeremiah, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God knows the plans He has for me because "before He formed me in the womb He knew me, before I was born He set me apart; He appointed me."

As I live out my God given purpose, I see more trouble come my way. This year as I committed myself to truly living out my God given purpose, sickness, death, financial troubles, family problems and other issues came at me from every which kind of way. Like King David in the Psalm 25, the troubles of my heart have multiplied. During this year as all these things were occurring, God has been manifesting His gifts in me. Which is entirely another story and another set of emotions to go through. Dealing with death, sickness, debt and having your spiritual gifts manifest themselves in such a way that you had not thought of like the foretelling of the deaths of loved ones, I thought was a bit much.

During this time I have had two conflicting voices speaking to me. One is a loving Father, who said He would never leave me or forsake me. I hear God speaking to me, telling me to hold on, to stand and see His salvation. I hear Him telling me it is going to be okay that He will bring me out, I just need to have faith and learning the lessons He wants to teach me during this season.

Then there is the enemy who continues to tell me God will not rescue me. That all the problems I am facing will not leave me; with every bill, bad report, family argument, friend who has forgotten me in this storm and person who misuses or mishandles me, how could a loving Father allow His child to go through such pain and suffering.
My response to the enemy, “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.” Job 13:15
I trust God because I know through the study of His Word and my connection to Him that in this life I would have some trouble. He never said I had to endure the hardships alone. He said, “I could cast my burdens upon Him and if I became weary and heavy laden, He would give me rest.

So, if the path to my God given purpose has me walking through sickness, death, grief being misused, mishandle, financial issues and the like, I gladly and joyfully walk the path. For I know, “He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff,
they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD.” Psalm 23: 3-6

I know what the enemy meant for evil, God is going to work it out for my good. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

As it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

Oh, there is a brighter day, brighter day ahead…cause I trust in Christ Jesus and by Him I am being led, so there is a brighter day, brighter day ahead…far in the distant I can see the light shining in the night and it has been a journey, my Heavenly Father but I go with Jesus cause He conquerors all.

I Can’t Give Up Now

This year has been one of many lows for me, sometimes I felt like giving up. At times I wondered where was my loving God in the many situations I faced. It was at those moments He remaindered me that "Never will He leave me; never will He forsake me.” Hebrews 13:5

Yes, you are facing some hard situations and yes, the trouble of your heart have multiply but I am with you.

During this year, which I have taken to calling my season of loss and gain, I have learned to trust in God with every fiber of my being. Throughout this season of testing and trials two sermons continue to play in my head, one is a sermon my Senior Pastor preached over a year ago entitled “It’s Just a Test”. The scripture reference he used was Job’s testing experience. So many people look at the many situations I have been faced with or I am now facing. I look sometimes at my trials and wonder why I have not lost my mind then God reminders me that He is keeping me. Yes, I have lost my Granny and cousin, my job, my finances are what they are but I have not lost the love, peace, joy and protection of an Awesome God. He is still there protecting me during this storm. So as I think about the sermon and Job’s experience I know God will bring me out just like He did for Job. I have to weather this storm and learn the lessons God wants to teach me and show me during this testing season.

The other sermon is one my Associate Pastor preached entitled “Out of Your Egypt”. The scripture he used was the Israelites’ captive and ultimate exodus out of Egypt. I went back last week and re-listen to the sermon. Pastor B said, you can be blessed in your Egypt. I must have missed this point in the sermon and has been over a year since I heard it. I could not understand it but as I looked at my present Egypt experience I am being blessed. God is revealing folks true character to me. He is showing me more and more of His grace and mercy. He has taught me how to truly appreciate what we sometimes call the smaller things in life. He has shown me those who truly love me for me. He has also revealed the things I need to be delivered from like pride, poor stewardship and poor time management.

So, as the storms of life rage on I chose to believe God and allow His Word to navigate me through the tough times. Like King David, I too, “lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121”

I am my Heavenly Father’s child, Jesus is my Savior and that means I will always triumph of the obstacles of life. Because God is my help and He remains faithful to His Word to always come to my rescue, I continue to trust in Him and to seek Him during these trying times.
I know I can’t give up and I will not give up. Like the Apostle Paul, I too, am” confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
Another song I love is Mary Mary’s I Can’t Give Up Now:

There will be mountains that I will have to climb
And there will be battles that I will have to fight
But victory or defeat, it's up to me to decide
But how can I expect to win If I never try.

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me

Never said there wouldn't be trials
Never said I would't fall
Never said that everything would go the way I want it to go
But when my back is against the wall
And i feel all hope is gone,
I'll just lift my head up to the sky
And say help me to be strong

Never give up on God because He will never give up on you. Let Him walk you through the storms and allow Him to heal you.

Be blessed!!!

All I Can DO Is Trust You Lord

There is a song I love by James Fortune entitled I Trust You. The song simply says, I will trust You, Lord. My favorite lines are “everything that I see, tells me not to believe, but I'll trust you Lord, you have never failed me, I can only trust you, no one else loves like you do.”

Here is why I love the lines in this song because I can go to God’s Word and find scripture to support what the song writing is saying. I have evidence that God can be trusted, His Word tells me so. At this point in time I find myself unemployed with more bills than money but I also have a promise and directions from my Heavenly Father.

My flesh is telling me I am in a very bad situation right now with the job marketing looking the way that it does and the bills coming in every month still. The flesh is screaming Ryane, we can not wait on God we have to do something.

Then there is the Holy Spirit living in me that says, God is going to do what He says He will do. Just stand still and see Him work everything out for you.

Everything I see, tells me not to believe
In this world you will have trouble. John 16:33
A righteous man may have many troubles…Psalm 34:16

The Word of God tells me, there will be some troubling times and situations, such as unemployment, death, hurt and pain. The enemy would have you to believe in these situations God is not there for you and you would not make it through your situation. This thought is contrary to the Word of God. In Hebrews 13:5 God said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” And because I know God is not a man that He should lie, I chose to believe God in these troubling days I am experiencing because as Hezekiah Walker songs Faithful, faithful is our God, I WILL reap the harvest God promised me…taking back what the devil stole from me….I SHALL recover it all… cause faithful is our God.

I'll trust you lord, you have never failed me
…but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:16
I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. I will praise you forever for what you have done; in Your name I will hope. Psalm 52:8-9
… But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

As I look back over my life, I can honestly say God has been with me. He has been my Shepherd through the good and bad times. Everything in His perfect that I have asked Him for has been given to me. Even with the recent unemployment God is answering my prayers. See, I begin to pray God would remove me from my old job (He did) and when He removed me from that job, I would not go to another desk job but I prayed for Him to move me into working in the ministry and writing full time. I know see God moving on the working in ministry and with the upcoming release of my first book I see Him working on the writing. The financial situation maybe but my Father is rich. Everything on earth and in heaven belongs to Him.

Every time the enemy tries to get me to worry and to have doubt in God bringing me out of this, I remember that 2:49 a.m. wake-up call from God. He said not to worry; He was going to take care of everything concerning me. God know my cousin and Granny would be called home to glory, He knows my prayers for my family, He knows my financial situation. King David wrote in Psalm 139: 2-5 and 16-17, “You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me… your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God! He knew these troubling days were ahead of me but He said in John 16:33, “take heart! I have overcome the world.” I trust Him because I seen Him bring me out many situations before and I KNOW for sure His thoughts toward me are beautiful ones. In Jeremiah 29:11 God said, For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


I can only trust You, no one else loves like you do.”
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

A couple of weeks ago, God wake me up again this time He took me on a journey through His Word. We started with Deuteronomy 5:32-33, 6, 28, 29, 30, then Psalms 23, 39, then Isaiah 55, then Matthew 6:25-34 and then Hebrews 11. When you have sometime read those chapters and verses then you will now why I am not worried about anything. The Word says, the just shall live by faith. It is only fitting God end our journey through His Word that early morning with Hebrews 11 which is entitled By Faith. The first three verses says, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.”

Dorinda Clark Cole has a song that says, God is going to do everything He promised you. I trust God more than enough to know He will do what He promised me. Yes, the promising of the Father are real to me. If I have to go through this season of death, pain, financial instability and lack, I am going through with an Awesome Father who has already walk the path before. I know this is just a test of my faith and so I believe God. I trust He will bring me out of this because His Word says in Philippians 1:6, “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

I WILL TRUST YOU LORD!!!