I Give Up

Today makes the first day of the Lenten Season for many Christians across the world. The first day of Lent is Ash Wednesday. A day in which ashes that were blessed from the previous year on Palm Sunday are burnt and placed on the foreheads of believers. The ashes are placed on the forehead in the shape of a cross. Ash Wednesday/Lenten season is a time of reflects for many Christian, including myself.

This Ash Wednesday I find myself reflecting on the promises God has made me over the years. I find myself looking in the mirror of my soul/spirit with some very critical questions for myself. There is one question I keep asking myself. Why do you keep allowing fear to consume you?

On Ash Wednesday many Christians begin to fast from food or they give up something that takes their time away from God. For me today starts the first day of giving up the spirits of my will, fear, procrastinates, and low self/spiritual worth (not feeling like I am worthy of God blessing me the way He has in mind to do) . I am starting today, by encouraging myself in the LORD. In the Word of God, He tells me, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.” (Psalm 139:14, NIV) I am taking the necessary steps to rid myself of these spirits, so that I can live the life God has pre-planned for me. What are those steps?

First, I plan to look over the 10 year life plan God gave me in November of 2010 and pick those things I can do now that will lead me to the blessings in my career, life and ministry. Secondly, I will stop denying who God has said I am and called me to be. Finally, I will just trust and obey, there is no other way for me to rid myself of these spirits and hindrances but to just trust and obey God’s instructions in my life.

I desire, want and need a closer walk with the LORD! I know to get it I must give up those things that are hindering me from drawing closer to Him. So, during this Lenten season and for the rest of this earthly life, I plan to trust and obey the direction/plan God has for me. It was God who told the Prophet Jeremiah, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jeremiah 29:11, KJV) I desire/want/need what it is God has for me. With that Ryane has to die daily that Christ may live in me and that I may experience Him on an even greater level.

During this Lenten Season, what do you plan to give up (for good) so that you may draw closer to the LORD?

May the peace and blessings of our Savior/God rest with each one of you!!!

http://youtu.be/tJznj1a8I1w

Confidence in God

One of my favorite old saints from the Bible is King David. There are a couple of reasons why I like King David so much. He had a faith, trust, and relationship with God that preserved every trial, tribulation, problem and situation he faced. His relationship with God never changed based on his condition or what he was going through in his life. When his own son was trying to kill him, King David looked to the Lord for answers. When He had a promise from God that he would one day be King of Israeli, King David never give up, when people were trying to kill him, lying on him and doing everything to undermine the promises of God in his life; King David held firm to the promises of God over his life.

When you read through the Psalms King David wrote, you see a relationship that is rooted in love, trust, and faith. It takes a lot to still trust, have faith in and love a person, who at first glance seems to be standing idling by as folks try and kill you due to the promise He has given you. But that was King David, when you look at Psalms like Psalm 27, where King David writes, “The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked advance against me to devour[a] me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.” As I have study King David’s life, his trust, love, and faith in God came from him spending time with the LORD. Making himself available to the LORD. Even as all these things were happening in his life. He knew God would never leave him or forsake him. It seemed at times like King David had some insight into God’s character that no one else on the planet had. I wonder sometimes will my faith, trust and love for God ever come close to King David’s. Will I get to a place that even in the most unbearable situations that occur in my life, while I be able to show this much faith and trust in God.

There are times on my journey, particularly the last two years, were I have had to take pages out of King David’s life on faith, on trusting God and know the love of God. Like King David I have promises from God about my life and our journey together. While I see something happening in the natural ream, I have not seen the full manifesting of the promises of God on my life just yet. Which I admit can be a bit discouraging at times, when you are doing almost everything that is required of you and still not seen the promises. And then it seems that even more problems pop up in your life. I look to old saints like King David for an example on how to get through the preparation season of my life. To stay encourage on this journey that is sometimes filled with twist and turns, ups and downs , we have to look to the LORD and the encouragement He has made available to us in His written Word, in songs and in His people. So, I find my encouragement in the Psalms when I am discouraged. I allow my mind to go back to what King David must have felt to have so much promise on his life and be hated to the point where some would want to kill him. But there was not quitting in him and it seem the more he believed in the LORD, the deeper his relationship with Him grew.

I desire that type of relationship with God. That no matter what I go through on this journey it only serves to deepen my relationship with God. I am getting there and I thank God for His patience with me. As King David continued in Psalm 27, I allow these words not only to minister to me but I apply them to my life as I take this victories journey with God. “For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD. Hear my voice when I call, LORD; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek. Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper; Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. Teach me your way, LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations. I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. “

The Waiting Process

On Monday morning I found myself sitting in my apartment in tears, feeling like the many trials I am facing was just going to consume me at that point. I sat, cried and talking with my God. I asked Him why so much pain in my life? From my teenagers years upward I have known pain intimately. It seem at times that pain would always be apart of my life.

As I sat Monday morning my soul was crying out to my heavenly Father, how much longer will I have endure pain and lack. I tried to distract myself by getting on facebook but there was no running from this thing. I got on and saw my mentor was online, so I asked her to pray for me, telling her I was just feeling so down. So, she said, “lets go for a ride.” God knows just want you need when you need it.

While I was getting ready, God begin to minister to me; reminding me, my timing and His timing are two different things. Then one of my favorite songs came to me, reminding me God can be trusted. I love Faithful Is Our God by Hezekiah Walker, the lyrics say, “Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God; I'm reaping the harvest God promised me; Taking back what the devil stole from me; And I rejoice today, for I shall recover it all; Yes, I rejoice today, for I shall recover it all. I truly believe I will reap the harvest God has promised. It’s just sometimes the waiting process can truly be a hard one.

I was reminded of what David said in Psalm 37:7, “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” As I thought about folks who were not following the LORD and not trying to walk in the plans He has for their lives. I thought how prosperous it seems they are, how it is not a struggle for them to get their books published, their finances in order and working the plans they have for their lives.

I must say God did a lot of reminding me of things on Monday. He reminded me I was living for an eternal glory and not just things or to be popular. He reminded me things would not always be easy. That He was my Provider, my Shield, my Refuge and everything I need could be find in Him. I was reminded that God’s blessings come with no curses.

As the LORD took me through His Word, I realized, He had dropped these scriptures into my spirit weeks ago. Like Number 23:19, “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” and Psalm 23:1 “The LORD is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.

Sometimes I (we) need to be reminded that God is not a man that He should lie. That He is faithful to keep His promises to us. I (we) also need to realize God is not on my (our) schedule. He may not arrive at the time and place I (we) want Him too but He will arrive at the time and place He has scheduled in His book of life. The book that has everyday of my life in it!

I spent the rest of the day with my mentor talking things out and listening. She reminded me, “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

So, I encouraged myself with the Word of God knowing “weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5 I had to also remind myself of what Paul said in Galatians 6:9, Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right. 2 Thessalonians 3:13

Unfinished Business

As I enter day 2 of the Lenten Season, I am reminded of what was spoken to me at my churches fall revival in 2009. The Pastor told me I had left several assignments from God undone. He said, “I was not living up to the call/purpose the LORD has purposed for me. He continued to tell me, if I would just let go and trust God, I would be amazed at where God would take me. He concluded that I had received enough in God’s permissive will that it was time for me to start living and operating in God’s perfect will.”

The things the Pastor had spoken to me that night were not new to me because God had spoken them to me before and sent others before the Pastor at revival with the same message. It was in my hard-headiness, fear and procrastination that I did the bare minimum and prayed the LORD would bless my effort. I believe God did bless the effort back then, He knew where I was in Him, meaning He knew my spiritual maturity. At the same time the Lord also knew I was growing in my knowledge of who He was and who He said I was to Him.

It is past time for me to operate in what Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” I trust God! I had no really faith in myself to do the things God was calling me to do. I did not trust myself fully to do those things that were assigned to me and went as far as to question God at times as to why He trusted me so much. It was in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” and Psalm 139 (http://www.biblica.com/bible/verse/?niv=yes&q=Ps139 ) God would give me my answer.

So, as I prepared myself for Ash Wednesday Worship Service on yesterday, I asked God to give me a scripture for this Lenten Season. He gave me Jeremiah 29:11, He gave me the scripture that He has given me for the last three years. The number three biblical means completion.

This morning as I sat at my computer to write this post I knew I would writing something about what I would give up for Lent. What I did not know was the LORD would bring back to my thoughts about the confirmation message He gave to the Pastor at fall revival to give to me.

I totally agree with God, it is time for me to stop allowing fear, procrastination and my will to interfere with His plan and purpose for my life. So, instead of giving up things I would only start again after Lent is over. I am giving up fear, procrastination and my will to living in God’s perfect will for my life. I know it is the best thing to do because my relationship with Christ is the best thing that has every happen to me. I LOVE YOU FATHER!!!

Letting Go and Letting God have His Way

There are two bible studies I am undertaking right now, the first being one I started later in the summer about the suffering of Job. The other is one of the bible study class I am taking Journey into Overcoming, both dealing with suffering, trials and tribulation in life. Many of you who read this blog on a regular basis do not have to be reminded of the many situations and adversities I have faced in this life. I have seen death, sickness, depression and so forth. What I have gathered from Ray Steadman’s Suffering of Job and the first lesson in Journey to Overcoming is trials, suffering and tribulations all come to bring us closer to God plan for our lives.

As I look back on my life, especially the difficult times of my life, I can see the hand of God all over my life. I can see how He tried to redirect my steps in some situations and why He allowed others to occur. I am not saying I know why everything good, bad or indifferent occurred in my life because I do not understand it all. What I do understand is the love of God and how that has greatly impacted my life. There have been many trials in 2009 for me but there have also been many victories. I now can discern the voice of God clearly. I can hear Him speaking to me and leading me on the path He purposed and ordained for my life. I know for sure the gifts He has placed with in me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He indeed loves me.

In this season of loses and gains for me, I have found myself wrestling with God and the call He has on my life. I sometimes find myself trying to ignore Him or making up excuses for not doing the things He has called me to do. Yes, I have been disobedient to the Father. Some of my disobediences is due to fear and the rest is my uncertainty or at least that is what I tell myself. The fear part is real the uncertainty I am not so sure about. I know God has called me and purpose me because He has purposed each one of His children that He has called out of the darkness into His marvelous light. As He told Jeremiah, I know the plans I have for you.

I know the Father has a plan for my life, I am at a place where I am fighting His will for my life and I truly want to walk in that will but I do not know how to stop fighting Him. My desire is to be in His perfect will for my life…to lose myself totally and completely in Him and the plans He has already set in place for me. I just have not learned how to let go and let God have His way. I spend so much time telling Him what I want and how I would like things to be that I miss a lot of what He has to say to me. I spend so much time thinking about the way my life should be that I miss out on much of what He says my life will be like. I know two of my gifts are prophecy and exhortation. I know for sure the talent He has given me is writing. I also know that He wants to use me for other things but I am so afraid of leaving folks behind, moving to another level which would mean leaving people behind and letting someone have full control of my life, even though I know God will never do anything to hurt me.

So my prayer for myself and the one I am asking you all to pray for me is that I let go of fear and I totally let go and let God have His way and that His prefect will be done in my life.