Confidence in God

One of my favorite old saints from the Bible is King David. There are a couple of reasons why I like King David so much. He had a faith, trust, and relationship with God that preserved every trial, tribulation, problem and situation he faced. His relationship with God never changed based on his condition or what he was going through in his life. When his own son was trying to kill him, King David looked to the Lord for answers. When He had a promise from God that he would one day be King of Israeli, King David never give up, when people were trying to kill him, lying on him and doing everything to undermine the promises of God in his life; King David held firm to the promises of God over his life.

When you read through the Psalms King David wrote, you see a relationship that is rooted in love, trust, and faith. It takes a lot to still trust, have faith in and love a person, who at first glance seems to be standing idling by as folks try and kill you due to the promise He has given you. But that was King David, when you look at Psalms like Psalm 27, where King David writes, “The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked advance against me to devour[a] me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.” As I have study King David’s life, his trust, love, and faith in God came from him spending time with the LORD. Making himself available to the LORD. Even as all these things were happening in his life. He knew God would never leave him or forsake him. It seemed at times like King David had some insight into God’s character that no one else on the planet had. I wonder sometimes will my faith, trust and love for God ever come close to King David’s. Will I get to a place that even in the most unbearable situations that occur in my life, while I be able to show this much faith and trust in God.

There are times on my journey, particularly the last two years, were I have had to take pages out of King David’s life on faith, on trusting God and know the love of God. Like King David I have promises from God about my life and our journey together. While I see something happening in the natural ream, I have not seen the full manifesting of the promises of God on my life just yet. Which I admit can be a bit discouraging at times, when you are doing almost everything that is required of you and still not seen the promises. And then it seems that even more problems pop up in your life. I look to old saints like King David for an example on how to get through the preparation season of my life. To stay encourage on this journey that is sometimes filled with twist and turns, ups and downs , we have to look to the LORD and the encouragement He has made available to us in His written Word, in songs and in His people. So, I find my encouragement in the Psalms when I am discouraged. I allow my mind to go back to what King David must have felt to have so much promise on his life and be hated to the point where some would want to kill him. But there was not quitting in him and it seem the more he believed in the LORD, the deeper his relationship with Him grew.

I desire that type of relationship with God. That no matter what I go through on this journey it only serves to deepen my relationship with God. I am getting there and I thank God for His patience with me. As King David continued in Psalm 27, I allow these words not only to minister to me but I apply them to my life as I take this victories journey with God. “For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD. Hear my voice when I call, LORD; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek. Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper; Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. Teach me your way, LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations. I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. “

Open Letter

This is a short story I am working on called Open Letter. I pray you enjoy and look forward to hearing your thoughts on Open Letter.

It’s August 19, 2009 and I am home on a raining day with my over active imagination. For months I have been pondering over this letter. What do I say to someone I have never meet? How do I start this letter? Will you read it before we meet? Are just a few of the question in my mind? I often find myself thinking about you, wondering if we will ever meet. Wondering if you have those perfect brown eyes like a brown new penny fresh from the mint. Wondering if your smile fits the one I walk around with in my head. You know, one of those smiles that can make a girl melt. If your touch would cause me to forget where I am, of course, these are all physical attributes.

Yes, a physical attracting is important but I really need a spiritual connection with you also. I wonder about your relationship with our awesome Heavenly Father. What are your favorite bible verses? What songs do you sing to encourage yourself in the Lord? Where are you on your spiritual journey with the Lord?

I wrote this prayer to God about you a couple of years back then I went and updated it back on August 20, 2008, so this is the eve of the one year anniversary of my updated prayer to God concerning you. As you can see, we have not cross paths yet. I believe we have not met yet because God is still working on the both of us. He is making sure we are both ready for one another. You see if I have some issues, some things God needs to get rid of before we meet. I know you probably are being transformed too, which is my prayer. Yes, I do pray for you! Not that God would send me a husband but I pray for your strength, career, comfort, success, family, peace, joy and I pray God will keep you while we are apart. That He would also keep you when we are together. It is easy to pray for a husband but I do not just want to pray for a husband I want to pray for the husband God has specific for me, I believe that is you. So instead of praying for a husband I pray for your needs to be met and God will give you the desires of your heart.

I mentioned earlier that I have some issues, yes, even though I would love to say, I’m perfect, I have to admit that I am only close to perfection. I am a daddy’s girl. No old lawds!!! Yes, I am spoiled, yes, I am a spoiled little brat. Sometimes I just want what I want, which, I know you have guessed it. I can also be stubborn at times when I do not get it. My mom says I get it from my dad but truth be told I get it from the both of them. I know how to compromise a little. I am still learning though. I will get it. Hey, I have been a spoiled little daddy’s girl for over 30 years so it is going to take a little while for me to get through this thing. I can be a little stuck-up at times, a tidbit lazy at times, and I procrastinate a lot and sometimes I just want to be left alone.

With all my faults, I can honestly say, you will never find a bigger supporter than me. While I can be a little spoiled and self-centered at times, I will always encourage you to be the man God purposed and anointed you to be. I will never put my own needs ahead of yours. I will stand by you and be the wife God has called me to be. I do not just want to be your wife I want to be your best-friend and lover.

In this prayer letter I wrote to God I asked that you be a believer in Jesus Christ. That you be rooted in the Word of God. That you be a God fearing man and not a man I have to put the fear of God in. That you not just be a hearer of the Word but also a doer of the Word! That you would be a man who would give God his time, talent and treasure for the up building of God’s Kingdom! That you would be a man who would be filled with the fruits of the spirit. That you would be strong and firm but still have a gentleness about yourself. That you would be someone who is able to admit when he is wrong. That you would be a compassionate, comforting, affectionate, patient, honest, disciplined, faithful, honorable man who I could share my life with. These are just a few of the things I prayed God will instill in you.

As your friend, wife and lover I will be the woman God has called me to be. I will submit to you, as you submit to Christ Jesus. I will honor you, in your presence and when I am not in your presence. I will display the fruits of the spirit in our courtship and marriage. I will be the wife God has called me to be. I will be honest, considerate, compassionate, comforting, affectionate, patient, faithful, and a honorable woman to you.

See I am not asking you to do or be anything I myself am not willing to do. So, as I wait for you. I plan to keep myself from this day forth, not allowing any other man entry into what has been predestined for you. I plan to keep myself for you from this day forward because it is what God requires and it is my act of love for you. While I will not be a virgin when we marry, you will be the last man to every touch me sexually. It gets hard sometimes during this waiting period but I pray my anxious will not overtake me. I pray you will do the same.

I love you and can’t wait to the day we are join together in holy matrimony.

God Bless You
Your Future Friend, Wife and Lover

This is just freaking brilliant, Melody, I mean it has heart, it has compassion, and who really thinks to write an open letter to their future husband. I heard my literary agent Lindsay say as I stood in absolute horror as she read my very personal letter to the future husband I was starting to believe will never come.

Lindsay, I thought you where in here making calls, why are you reading my personal journal entries. It is personal! It’s something that is just between me, God and the other person I wanted to read it. I found myself saying to what I knew was a brick wall that could not be torn down. I knew Lindsay had already made up in her little overworked Starbuck invested mind she was going to try and sell this to a magazine or newspaper. I had to find a way to talk her out of this. I mean the letter read like some desperate church girl letter. How could I leave me journal open? I must be a glutton for punishment. What in the heck am I going to do, there is no way I am going to let her try and sell this letter.
Earth to Melody, earth to Melody…is anyone home.

Lindsay, you can not sell this letter to anyone. It is personal for Christ sake. It is between me and my future husband. No one else! Come on Lindsay, can I wrote something to keep for myself, must I always be an open book to my readers. Gosh, I mean I share almost everything with them, they know when I am cramping, they know when I am anger, they know when am I broke, I mean they know almost everything about me.

My sweet, sweet Melody, hun, as your agent, you have not written anything close to this good in a minute. Melody, think about it for a second honey, think about all the lonely women at there praying to God for a husband, waiting on the Lord to answer their prayers. When they read the great Christian writer Melody Sweets is in the same position as they are, yes, she is beautiful and brilliant but she has the same struggles as they have as single Christian women. You know your readers would eat this right up and with that slick smile of hers she adds, who knows you may just get a husband out of this.

The purpose of the letter Lindsay was that my future husband would read it on the eve of our wedding and know I was thinking about him specific before we were joined together by our God. It is not for a brunch of lonely Christian women, God bless their lonely selves but I am tired of being there motivation, there example of everything Godly in a women. I mean dang, can I keep anything for myself!!!

While, my dear, if you do not come up with some good material I can submit to magazines and newspapers soon or finish your book, you will have a cardboard box you may keep to yourself while you sleep under the South Capitol Street bridge!

Did you have to go there?

Yes, you need to get off your high horse and start letting me submit some of these journal entries. I float the central idea of a lot of your journal entries around to some of my friends and associate in the industry, they think it is very good, in fact, one major newspaper is looking for a Christian writer to be open and honest about their walk with Christ.

Unfamiliar Ground

“One of the things that attracted me to Yvette was the way she was not afraid to praise God,” my cousin’s husband shared this with my two Christmas ago. That same Christmas he gave me a book by T.D. Jakes entitled Promises from God for Single Women. Admittedly, I have only open the book sporadically over the last two years but I opened it last night to the first page of the relationship section and found some useful words there.

See God knows what you need to hear and when you need to hear it. He has many modes to get it too you but the spirit has got to be willing to accept correction, rebuke and discipline from the LORD, because it is always given in love. He knows that I am struggling with an issue about a certain relationship at this point in my life.

Last night as I read the first sentence which states, “Do you need to have it your way, or no way?” The answer is heck yeah! For so many years I controlled and set the ground rules for all my relationships with men. I decided how far things would go and I decided when it would end with no warning to them. I had no problem walking away from them and the situation. But there have been two men in my life that I have not been able to just walk away from. One I knew since I was a teenager. The love I shared with him was special and unique. He was the first man to break through the cold and closed heart I once had. He was completely honest with me and always called me on my mess. I loved him for that and it was one of the reasons I had fallen in love with him. He told me the things I need to hear and not what I wanted to hear. I was prepared to deal with and face many things with him but he was killed in March of 2004.

In May of 2007 the second man would enter my life and here is where my struggle lies. Maybe, I need to disclose some things about myself before I get into the second man and the struggles and ultimate what I heard God speaking into my heart last night.

I am a daddy’s girl! There is absolutely nothing my dad would not do for me or my siblings. He has been my prince charming for the last 31 years of my life and treated me like a princess. The other men in my life such as my Granddad James and my brothers (especially my eldest brother) have always been there to provide for me. I never had to want for much of anything the last 31 years of my life. If I can be perfectly honest even the women in my life have spoiled me (my mom and cousin). I have always been given their time, attention, love, and material things. Thus I am a spoiled brat, yes, at 31 years of age, I am still spoiled rotten. I still believe things should go my way and people should be there when I want them too. Which is one of the problems I have with man two, he is not always there when I want him to be. Something I am totally not use too at all.

I went into this not expected much from man two but the normal things that are a given, to be respected and treated well. Which he did without a problem? He was many things I wanted in a man and still is. In the early portion of the getting to know you game, I was still dating around. I was in my twenties and not looking for a husband. I was also in my second year of my journey with God. As I think back to the earlier dates we had, one thing that impressed me about him was that he would pray for both of us before each meal. Which had never happen to me on a date before, which I thought was refreshing?

As I enter year five on this journey with God, I have learned He has away of getting you to face your past so that you can move into your future. In past dealings with men I could walk away with no problems. But with man two, I have been unable to completely breakaway from him. It is not due too lack of trying. Over the last three years I have walked away from months at a time only to find myself drawing back to him for some reasons or another. I have inquired of the LORD many times why can’t I just walk away from this man once and for all. I thought two Thursday ago I would just leave this thing alone and even went as far as to say, I heard God telling me to walk away from the situation. I can sometimes hear what I want to hear when I do not want to deal with things. I was all set to delete his number from my phone, delete his email address from my contact list and delete him from my facebook friends list that Friday, as I was praying about something else, I did hear God emphatically telling me not to delete any of the information. Clear as day, I heard, “how many times have you deleted his information only to put it back. Leave it there is what I heard.”

I hate to admit this but a conversation I had with one of my friends/Sister in Christ about man two came to my remembrance. She told me it was time to be a big grown woman and face this thing head on, allowing God to handle the situation and letting His perfect will be done. With all my craziness and me attitude, I know what God has for me is just for me. That includes the man He has just for me. I do not have to master mind anything or demand anything from a person. God will indeed work this thing out and if me and man two are meant to just be friends, being in a committed relationship, or be nothing to each other I am ready to accepted the lessons and experience God wants me to face in this situation because I know I will be better for having gone through it.

God reminding me last night through His Word in Amos 3:3, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? The rest of what T.D. Jakes wrote was this, “How can you have a healthy relationship when you want to call all the shots? Listen to me-it is vital that you are clear about one very important ingredient in a relationship: both of you must be focused on the Lord first in order to make it work. Agree to make the Lord your destination and you’ll find you are walking in the same direction.”

In my many conversations with God, I have said to Him, the man I will be with is the one He handpicked for me. I do not know at this point if man two has been handpicked by God for me because in my hard-headness and stubbornness I never really waited for God to answer. I talked at God about man two never really wanting to hear His response. I do know what I asked God for in a husband and the one thing that is non-negotiable is this, he has to be a man of God, who is submitting his life to God daily. This is a must for me and I am willing and will wait for God to send that man. I might not like the wait time but wait I will.

I am now ready to listen knowing Jesus is the foundation of every healthy relationship. Lead me, guide me along this journey, if you wont lead me I wont go.

The Greatest Love Story Every Told

The last couple of weeks in various forms I have been receiving scriptures dealing with love. As I sat in Bible Study last night today’s blog post came to me. So, I would like to share with you all the greatest love story every told. The story has been told for many centuries and in many different languages. Yes, this story is universal. Some believe it the first time and others like me it takes a minutes to get it. The story is very long and it spans many lifetimes but it is well worth reading. I will give you the short version.

It started ions ago with a man, His Son and His Comforter. The man was very powerful and had access to the whole world. He was a creative Man and like to make things. He was what we would call today a move and a shaker. One day He was sitting with His Son and decided to make something so wonderful and beautiful, no one would every forget it. In the course of days the Man and His Son created many beautiful things and as they set back and looked at everything they created and decided to share it with others. The Man and His Son decided to allow this couple to live in what they had created. The couple seemed to be very pleased. The Man share with the couple some rules and regulations of being in this gorgeous place the Man had created.

If you are a fan of romantic comedies like me, you know earlier on something is going to happen that will separate the main characters and then someone or something else would take place to bring the main characters back together. In the greatest love story every told the same thing happens. The couple does not follow the Man’s rules and regulations, so the man is forced to evict them. There is an but here, the Man loved this couple a lot, so He did not want to see them out on the streets. He provided less gorgeous accommodations for the couple.

So for years the Man had tried to mend His relationship with the couple and their descendants to no avail. It would be times when they were in trouble and He would help them out of their situations, they would seek His guidance for a while before turning on Him. See, the Man was very wise and know things know one else know. The Man of the course of time continued to try and reach them. When they would ask Him to do things, He would give them their request. He was always there for them, just a second away each and every time they needed Him.

The story says, He longed for the relationship He had with their parents before the broke His rules. He had done almost everything to try and repair the relationship. So, the Man decided to send His Son to the people. His Son was very successful in talking with the descendants of the couple. We all know there is always a villain trying to mess everything up, the villain so the Son was able to reach the people, so he decided to put a stop to the Son. The villain thought he had stop the Son but he was setting the Son up to bring true reconciliation between the people and His Father. The villain had the Son falsely arrested, beating, mistreated by the prison guards and ultimately the Son would be killed. It does not end there thank God!

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.
There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me." Matthew 28: 1-10

The Man (God) sent his only begotten Son as an atoning sacrifice for us all that we would be back to that perfect relationship we had with Him in the beginning. So, my family and friends “be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin[a] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5: 21

The Bible is the greatest love story we can every read. God loves us so much and wants to be in a relationship with us. He does not want us to be perfect because He know we will make mistakes hence repentance but what He does desire is a personal relationship with us.

I thank JESUS for taking all my sin on Him at the cross. I personal do not think I could handle it. I thank Him for bridging the gap between God the Father and me. If what Jesus did on the cross was not love I sure would like to know what love does.

When You’re Hurt

Have you ever been at the place where everything seems to be falling apart? I find myself in that place back in June 2009 and I reached out to someone in my Christian circle of people I believe are mature in Christ. As I wrote in an email all the things I had been going through since January of 2009, the death of family members, experiencing God more than I had in the past, and feeling like I was losing my mind I asked/sought spiritual advice that never came. In the book of James 5: 14 says, “Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.” At that time I felt like I was sick spiritual and I called on an elder of the church, with no response. This really hurt me beyond what I original thought it did. I find myself dismissal of this person I sought for advice to the point where what they say means nothing to me at times.

I believe I am hurt because I expect too much for this person and not enough from God. As I write this I know God is the only One who can answer all my questions. The only One who can help me make sense of what the last year of my life was all about. Knowing this does not totally eliminate the hurt I experience by seeking help from someone I trusted and for me to trust anyone is not the easiest thing for me to do, I was asking this person for spiritual advice. There were days where I thought about walking away from my relationship with God because of the hurt and pain I was feeling not only due to this situation but all the pain and unanswered questions I faced in 2009. Every time the thought to walk away from God came to me, He placed Psalm 139 in my spirit. Being the great Father God is He gave me the strength to endure and that is why I can move forward from this situation and all situations. I know the LORD will always be there for me, He will always be my strength. My Associate Pastor asked me one was God the joy of my strength I can confident say, yes, He is the joy of my strength because we I was utterly cast down He pick me up. When I felt alone He was there to make me feel like someone was there with me. When I do not understand many situations He assured me one day I would know the reasons.

That is why I must let go of the hurt feelings because in the end it is only hurting me. It is hindering me from moving forward in what I must do. So, with a forgiving hurt I am let it go. This one situation will not stop me from seeking spiritual advice from others nor will it hinder me from being all God has called me to be. I will recovery from someone disappointing me, what I can not do is continue to hold on to this hurt and disappoint.

Letting Go and Letting God have His Way

There are two bible studies I am undertaking right now, the first being one I started later in the summer about the suffering of Job. The other is one of the bible study class I am taking Journey into Overcoming, both dealing with suffering, trials and tribulation in life. Many of you who read this blog on a regular basis do not have to be reminded of the many situations and adversities I have faced in this life. I have seen death, sickness, depression and so forth. What I have gathered from Ray Steadman’s Suffering of Job and the first lesson in Journey to Overcoming is trials, suffering and tribulations all come to bring us closer to God plan for our lives.

As I look back on my life, especially the difficult times of my life, I can see the hand of God all over my life. I can see how He tried to redirect my steps in some situations and why He allowed others to occur. I am not saying I know why everything good, bad or indifferent occurred in my life because I do not understand it all. What I do understand is the love of God and how that has greatly impacted my life. There have been many trials in 2009 for me but there have also been many victories. I now can discern the voice of God clearly. I can hear Him speaking to me and leading me on the path He purposed and ordained for my life. I know for sure the gifts He has placed with in me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He indeed loves me.

In this season of loses and gains for me, I have found myself wrestling with God and the call He has on my life. I sometimes find myself trying to ignore Him or making up excuses for not doing the things He has called me to do. Yes, I have been disobedient to the Father. Some of my disobediences is due to fear and the rest is my uncertainty or at least that is what I tell myself. The fear part is real the uncertainty I am not so sure about. I know God has called me and purpose me because He has purposed each one of His children that He has called out of the darkness into His marvelous light. As He told Jeremiah, I know the plans I have for you.

I know the Father has a plan for my life, I am at a place where I am fighting His will for my life and I truly want to walk in that will but I do not know how to stop fighting Him. My desire is to be in His perfect will for my life…to lose myself totally and completely in Him and the plans He has already set in place for me. I just have not learned how to let go and let God have His way. I spend so much time telling Him what I want and how I would like things to be that I miss a lot of what He has to say to me. I spend so much time thinking about the way my life should be that I miss out on much of what He says my life will be like. I know two of my gifts are prophecy and exhortation. I know for sure the talent He has given me is writing. I also know that He wants to use me for other things but I am so afraid of leaving folks behind, moving to another level which would mean leaving people behind and letting someone have full control of my life, even though I know God will never do anything to hurt me.

So my prayer for myself and the one I am asking you all to pray for me is that I let go of fear and I totally let go and let God have His way and that His prefect will be done in my life.

There Is Purpose In My Pain

This morning as I made my way to church, I sat at the bus stop waiting on the bus reading T.D. Jakes book Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits. When I just happen to look up at the cloudy gray skies to see one specific area of the sky where there was a bright light shining forth. I continued to stare over my right shoulder at the bright spot in the cloudy gray skies this morning when I remembered though dark days come there is a brighter day ahead when you trust in Christ Jesus and are lead by Him. As I continued to watch the beautiful light in the cloudy gray skies be covered by the dark clouds, it seemed like the beautiful lite cloud would force its way back to the forefront. It appeared to me a determining in the cloud not to be hidden by the darker clouds, although the darker clouds surround it on every side.

My mind went to the current trials I am now facing and the trials I faced in the pasted. Then my mind went to one of my favorite bible heros King David. Who knew trials and adversity all too well! He faced many in his lifetime. Many of the trials King David faced were because of the anointing on his life. The purpose God had called him too, it was nothing David asked for, it was simply his God given purpose for being here. For many who know King David’s story, it is written in history he was a man after God’s own heart. As a shepherd boy David was anointed by Prophet Samuel to one day be King of Israel. As a result of his anointing and God given call there were numerous attempts on David’s life. Trouble just seemed to find David, who just wanted to be obedient to God. He did nothing but answer the call of God on his life. Most of the trouble occurred before David was ever placed as King over Israel.

I have heard many preachers say what I am about to write but I never really given full consideration to it until now. I am suffering because of the call and the anointing on my life. If I look at my life, not just this year even though this year seems like a lifetime of troubles, my life from the time of my birth, which my mother told me recently I almost dead because I was choking on something when I came out of the womb. Being reared in neighborhoods were shootings were as common place as fireworks on the 4th of July. Dealing with the deaths of my siblings, uncle and many friends who died violently on the streets of D.C.; then having to deal with my own personal demons of being suicidal, abuse of alcohol and the misuse of my body to try and numb the pain. Then trying to rationale in my mind how I could be so strong in my stance against abortions only to be faced with the option myself as a senior in college with my whole life ahead of me and to have to deal with the affects of having an abortion.

It amazes me sometimes that I am still alive. It truly does! I know God has spared me for a reason. As He told the prophet Jeremiah, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God knows the plans He has for me because "before He formed me in the womb He knew me, before I was born He set me apart; He appointed me."

As I live out my God given purpose, I see more trouble come my way. This year as I committed myself to truly living out my God given purpose, sickness, death, financial troubles, family problems and other issues came at me from every which kind of way. Like King David in the Psalm 25, the troubles of my heart have multiplied. During this year as all these things were occurring, God has been manifesting His gifts in me. Which is entirely another story and another set of emotions to go through. Dealing with death, sickness, debt and having your spiritual gifts manifest themselves in such a way that you had not thought of like the foretelling of the deaths of loved ones, I thought was a bit much.

During this time I have had two conflicting voices speaking to me. One is a loving Father, who said He would never leave me or forsake me. I hear God speaking to me, telling me to hold on, to stand and see His salvation. I hear Him telling me it is going to be okay that He will bring me out, I just need to have faith and learning the lessons He wants to teach me during this season.

Then there is the enemy who continues to tell me God will not rescue me. That all the problems I am facing will not leave me; with every bill, bad report, family argument, friend who has forgotten me in this storm and person who misuses or mishandles me, how could a loving Father allow His child to go through such pain and suffering.
My response to the enemy, “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.” Job 13:15
I trust God because I know through the study of His Word and my connection to Him that in this life I would have some trouble. He never said I had to endure the hardships alone. He said, “I could cast my burdens upon Him and if I became weary and heavy laden, He would give me rest.

So, if the path to my God given purpose has me walking through sickness, death, grief being misused, mishandle, financial issues and the like, I gladly and joyfully walk the path. For I know, “He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff,
they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD.” Psalm 23: 3-6

I know what the enemy meant for evil, God is going to work it out for my good. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

As it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

Oh, there is a brighter day, brighter day ahead…cause I trust in Christ Jesus and by Him I am being led, so there is a brighter day, brighter day ahead…far in the distant I can see the light shining in the night and it has been a journey, my Heavenly Father but I go with Jesus cause He conquerors all.

I Can’t Give Up Now

This year has been one of many lows for me, sometimes I felt like giving up. At times I wondered where was my loving God in the many situations I faced. It was at those moments He remaindered me that "Never will He leave me; never will He forsake me.” Hebrews 13:5

Yes, you are facing some hard situations and yes, the trouble of your heart have multiply but I am with you.

During this year, which I have taken to calling my season of loss and gain, I have learned to trust in God with every fiber of my being. Throughout this season of testing and trials two sermons continue to play in my head, one is a sermon my Senior Pastor preached over a year ago entitled “It’s Just a Test”. The scripture reference he used was Job’s testing experience. So many people look at the many situations I have been faced with or I am now facing. I look sometimes at my trials and wonder why I have not lost my mind then God reminders me that He is keeping me. Yes, I have lost my Granny and cousin, my job, my finances are what they are but I have not lost the love, peace, joy and protection of an Awesome God. He is still there protecting me during this storm. So as I think about the sermon and Job’s experience I know God will bring me out just like He did for Job. I have to weather this storm and learn the lessons God wants to teach me and show me during this testing season.

The other sermon is one my Associate Pastor preached entitled “Out of Your Egypt”. The scripture he used was the Israelites’ captive and ultimate exodus out of Egypt. I went back last week and re-listen to the sermon. Pastor B said, you can be blessed in your Egypt. I must have missed this point in the sermon and has been over a year since I heard it. I could not understand it but as I looked at my present Egypt experience I am being blessed. God is revealing folks true character to me. He is showing me more and more of His grace and mercy. He has taught me how to truly appreciate what we sometimes call the smaller things in life. He has shown me those who truly love me for me. He has also revealed the things I need to be delivered from like pride, poor stewardship and poor time management.

So, as the storms of life rage on I chose to believe God and allow His Word to navigate me through the tough times. Like King David, I too, “lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121”

I am my Heavenly Father’s child, Jesus is my Savior and that means I will always triumph of the obstacles of life. Because God is my help and He remains faithful to His Word to always come to my rescue, I continue to trust in Him and to seek Him during these trying times.
I know I can’t give up and I will not give up. Like the Apostle Paul, I too, am” confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
Another song I love is Mary Mary’s I Can’t Give Up Now:

There will be mountains that I will have to climb
And there will be battles that I will have to fight
But victory or defeat, it's up to me to decide
But how can I expect to win If I never try.

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me

Never said there wouldn't be trials
Never said I would't fall
Never said that everything would go the way I want it to go
But when my back is against the wall
And i feel all hope is gone,
I'll just lift my head up to the sky
And say help me to be strong

Never give up on God because He will never give up on you. Let Him walk you through the storms and allow Him to heal you.

Be blessed!!!